Hi everyone

[chaddavis333]

I haven't posted on here for a while because i got tired of being so negative and I didn't want anyone to have problems with their recovery because of my rants. Its 110 days since no loperamide. Of course the usual thoughts come in to my brain like am I sti having issues from loperamide, after all it is not supposed to cause withdrawal, but after being on 20 or more a day for over a year or more, I,don't know. All the docs keep telling me it's anxiety, which i,have always had, but now it's worse. I did abuse other opiates for 2 years prior until I decided to stop and started with the lope, had mistake. I was doing pretty good and only had some facial numbness, until I got this sinus thing going on. Now, some of the headaches are back, of course you get that with sinus, but these are different. I am so concerned about the left side of my face, it has been numb for a while. I,have had mri and all that and all,seem clear. My anxiety started to creep back in a little, but I don't know,if,it is from an antibiotic bactrim I started taking. I thought I was putting this all behind me, then the shaking, headaches, and anxiety have started to rear their ugly heads. Am I going through PAWS?? I,mean I really started to,feel great, and then boom out of nowhere everything comes back.I am always obsessing something else is going on in there, and I can't figure it out. I know God is in control, and if I have something else, then I do... When He takes this away, He does. Its His call and not mine. Am i,still going through so.ething or is this something else. I mean after 110 days, wouldn't i be ok??

[chaddavis333]

I think maybe everyone is tired of me. I don't understand this. I was getting back to normal

[clean_in_ks]

Chad....it's the night before Thanksgiving so many are busy getting ready for a holiday of THANKS GIVING.  What are you giving thanks for?

I would suggest you go to your last thread 3 weeks ago and read each and every word typed to you.

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Addiction-Substance-Abuse/What-is-going-on/show/2780139#post_13429232

I will rejoice the day you come on here and tell us what you HAVE tried.
The combined AA/NA meeting you spoke of sounds good....but you have to go more than one time.  Most meetings right now have food feasts (some around the clock) and people share all they are thankful for right now.  It would be GOOD listening for you!  Seeing a psych dr on Dec 15th also sounds good.
Intensive .....INTENSIVE (more than once/month) therapy would be great.  Therapeutic massage would be great.  Exercising regularly would be great.  Getting out of your head would be great.  Helping others....anyway you can....would be great.  Taking the focus off yourself would be great.
We are not tired of YOU as a person....we are tired of suggesting things you could do to help yourself that you refuse to try.

Time to sit down and write out some new goals.....and write down what you are grateful for now.  (Like being clean for one)  And time to re-read ALL that has been suggested to you by so many in all of your threads.  My prayer for you is that you will have a much needed break thru in your mind....and become willing to try something new.

[meegWpaw]

hey chad im not sick of you either, always good to see you post.  but i agree like 150% with EVERYTHING cik says.  to me, having read many of your posts and some from a long time ago, it seems like you are really making progress!!!  anxiety is a killer, i mean not literally, but it can cause things that would shock someone who has never experienced it ... also I'm not a doctor but i dont think Bactrim causes anxiety ... like i said i could be wrong.  i don't really think you are going through PAWS.  i think it's good old, garden variety anxiety ... intense garden variety!  you are getting 'all clears' on every physiological test you do.  yay!  that's a good thing.  put half the time you spend obsessing into quality psychological work in any of the areas cik mentioned ... see what happens after that!

Meeg

[dominosarah]

There isnt one more thing that i can add.  CIK and meeg said it all.  

Have a Happy Thanksgiving Chad.  Look around at all you have to be grateful for~

[chaddavis333]

I am very grateful. I am grateful for all of you. I just don't know why I started feeling better and then out of nowhere the headaches started again and the anxiety is off the charts... Thanks for answering me. I wish the thoughts would go,away

[gnarly_1]

Chad have you started aftercare yet????

[VICourageous]

Hi Chad.
I have to Ditto the above and ask about the Aftercare too.
The nice thing about going to those meetings is that YOU can ask ppl there the same thing you are here too. YOU will be happy about the feed back you will get. It will also help take so much off your shoulders and out of your Head.

Yep, sometimes we start to feel better right away and think it is over and out of know where comes the Physical. The Dr told me that as the Brain Chemistry balance back it can send false singles back to the body. Maybe you are just obsessing on this to much. I do not know, but it will get better. Just hang tight and hang onto that patience's too.

Congrats on your clean time, so far,,Yaaaa!!!

Bless
Vickie

[Danny111]

Hey Man,  I have to agree with all the above posters.  You have to push yourself to do the things that will get you better.  Go to meetings, see a therapist, exercise, get out of the house and go for a hike or something.  

Some times it's you really have to force yourself to get up and do these things but you'll find that the more you do the better you'll feel.

[dominosarah]

Do you have an appt with a counselor?