My question, perhaps in my own mind, is far larger then I can address myself. Both me and my partner are opiate addicts and cocaine addicts. We are close to losing our children to adoption, though they are currently with family. I am facing jail time, small amount less than sixty days, and have been running from it. I know I need to get into treatment, and a long-term one at that. However, how do I move forward from here when I am worried about during that time I will permanently lose my children, go to jail, and may lose the woman I love? Who is also struggeling with trying to find their way to sobriety.
Listen, you have to get help. I think treatment is a great idea and it looks good on your record when you have to go to court about your children. In treatment you will learn coping skills and relapse prevention. It could be a real positive experience for you. But..and this a big but..what will you do when you come home and your wife is still using? That is going to be avery hard thing to do. Is she talking about getting help?
My heart breaks for you. You are in a tough situation. I am glad you found your way here and hope that you stick around. This is a great place for support. If you have any questions or just want to talk then do it here.
There's no getting out of the time so you just have to face it. You may lose custody of your children and your significant other but its likely you will lose them anyways if you continue using.
You ask "how do I move forward from here"...well, you do what you have to do to get clean starting with going to jail and doing your time. Then you go to a treatment and start picking up the pieces one at a time.
I'm speaking from experience friend. I was the same as you and went to prison. I lost custody of the kids, the wife, property,...you name it...I lost it. Anyways...when I got out of prison I got my shat straight. Got a solid aftercare program and as time progressed...all the things I lost I got back...AND SOME. I see my kids ALL the time. Ive been clean 4+ years and it all started from a jail cell.
Don't dwell on all the things you may lose because if you stay in addiction you may just end up losing your life and then all that other stuff wont even matter anymore.
And....unless your doing something physically to your kids...they cant take them from you permanently like you mentioned above. They may take them until you get your shat straight...but that's not permanent.
Keep your head up...life is sooo much better clean!
Your story is probably more commen then u think....so, you messed up, you see it, now CHANGE IT! Can u leave some sort of legal POW that your family is to keep your kids while u and your partner go into long term treatment? I know easier said than done.but your no good to your children right now anyway...b/c your no good to yourselves. You have to get yourself back and once u do that ( and its not instant either!!!!!) U can work on getting your children back. Have you had enough of this crap yet??? Hit your bottom? Now its time to work your way up! U see it, I know u do, I'll tell u what my sponser told me and I hated her for it but she was right, "its time to grow up".....
Surely if you stay on this road you will lose the kids and anything else you may have left. Speedballing is even more dangerous than either opiates or cocaine by themselves. As ABN said, you could easily both be dead. That's not what you want for them because it is obvious that you love them very much. You and your partner need to make a commitment to each other to get clean. You'll be doing it apart but if you dont both do it it will never work. Being sent to jail short term is a Godsend in my opinion. Its an opportunity to clean up your act in a closed environment. Use this blessing to the full. Embrace it. Get on with it and stop running.
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