How do families cope?

[BlondieSD]

I really need some help here guys. I feel kinda strange about asking complete strangers for guidance, but I am running out of options. So, my sis has a history of meth addiction, and is currently addicted to Vicodin and Methadone. She has 3 children that have had to learn to take care of themselves. So sad. My family and I have tried EVERYTHING we can think of to get her the help she needs. She claims she wants help, but she wants everyone else to do it for her. My dad has retired early to take care of her kids. Our family is very supportive and have tried to help, but we don't really know how. All we know is that she is a totally different person. A horrible mother. I try not to be judgemental of her, as I have no idea what she must be going through. She wants to go to a methadone clinic cuz she is scared of w/ds. Part of me thinks it is a cop out and she is drug seeking. The other part of me wants to believe her. Bottom line is though, she can't be trusted. She claims that she cannot just quit taking methadone or else her liver will go into failure. I am a nurse, and I call bull **** on that. PLEASE, help me understand what she is going through. Help me to know how to help her. I don't want to lose her to this addiction, but I am wondering if it is too late.

Thanks.

[cathy5841]

i have been on both sides of addiction...i am an addict and have a daughter thats an addict.  i can promise you that addicts will do or say anything to get a fix.  i have no methadone experience, but have read many post hear where ppl say methadone is the worst and longest w/d.  it is never too late.  see if you can get her in to a suboxone dr for a short taper plan.  sub is also very addictive but if you do a short quick taper it is a great tool for getting clean.  she also needs some kind of after care....an addiction specialists or na or something.  she has to find the reaon for her addiction if she is ever going to overcome it.  bottom line is she has to want to get off te drugs than anything...it is hard at best.  good luck to you and her.

[BlondieSD]

Thanks. I get so frustrated at the system. My sis basically has to commit a crime to get the help she needs. When she was in jail, she was much better off. This *****.

[road2recovery]

As well as cathy, i am an addict, and so is my daughter...It is a tough situation..You know she has to want it herself...And that time will come when she hits her bottom..But for now, the kids are the most important thing....I pray your sister will be ok..I know this has to be so tough for you...My prayers are with you right now....

[BlondieSD]

Thanks. I appreciate it. The problem is that it is extremely hard to let her hit rock bottom, because of the kids. My family keeps helping her out, to help the kids. What do you do in that situation?

[carr]

I am a user from the street, although I've not used meth, but have smoked and shot crack, coke, heroin, k4's aka dilaudid. Jail keeps you clean but doesnt solve the problem, because most in there are only talking about getting high when they get out. I know because I've been where your sister is. I've done the court drug testing and didnt stop, I've lost custody of my daughter and didnt stop. I stole from my mom and kids and continued on. I went to a 28 day rehab program and didnt stop.  I wanted to stop, God knows I did and I've tried to many, many times.  She's not hit bottom yet. Even though you and your family has. My family told me NO, and left me to my own devices, which I lived in an abandoned home for 9 months.  Until I hit my bottom 30 days ago. I've been using hard stuff (to me weed isnt hard stuff) for the last three years. It is a mind set once her body is clean. Try a hospital detox program, I did that for 10 days. If she wont go, dont force her, she's an adult. You can try a judge's order. My family just stopped enabling me.  NO was the answer unless I was hungry and then it wasnt cash it was food they brought.  Dont give up on her and believe her when she says she wants to stop and believe her when she says she dont know how. Noone wants to be an addict. Once we go down this path we lose the ability to cope and lose the ability of understanding how the real "normal" world works.  
My suggestion is try the hospital first. Call the pysch ward see if they have a detoxing program.  Then a good state funded rehab.  From there they will give her what she needs as far as aftercare and whatnot.  If she choose's not to go.  Always keep that option open for her. But nothing more. (cept food) I know where she is and how she's feeling, I also know it will probably get worse before it gets better.  I wish you and your family luck with her.  Just dont give up.

Peace and Love,

Carrie

PS. Even if you dont have insurance, you can get in a hospital.  I told them I had thoughts of suicide even though I didnt. I had no choice.

[carr]

Your family might fine comfort in ALANON....

[road2recovery]

honestly they have to stop enabling her...I know that is a hard thing to do, but it is what has to be done..Since the kids have a great family to take care of them , then they will be ok for now...Have ya'll tried an intervention with her? I mean like the one you see on tv...That is what we did to my daughter, and to our surprise she did not run, she cried , and said i need help....But it ws really expensive..There has to be a place , that can help her...I would hope anyway...I love my sisters also, and would do everything in my power to help them get the help they need, of course without the enabling..