How do you deal with a son that has an addiction?

[LONESOME]

Sorry to overwhelm everyone with my problem it seems like we are letting it all out today, my son is 17 years old he will be 18 in December and he has been in one after another type of trouble and now for the past year he has been using pot it used to be on the weekend now is everyday he was taking lortabs from me he said he was not taking them but I don't know we do drug test and all that shows is marijuana always my husband has kick him out several times and we always take him back after a week. Well 10 days ago I found out he is also doing "xanix bars" yeah what I know of xanix bars is that is xanax thru the nose but not sure and that he tries anything he can get his hands on, the same day I found out we did a drug test the ones you buy at the walgreens and again the only thing was marijuana but of course the test was limited to 4 things meth,coce,marij,opiates.
My husband and I talked to him and my husband told him that it was enough and that he had to respect the house and us ant that the next time that we see him using or druged out we will kick him out of the house, he has put us through soooo much and we are fed up with him we have 2 young girls in the house that know so much already things that they shouldn't know because of my son.
Anyways 2 days later my husband is driving my daughter to soccer practice and sees my son coming out of walgreens all druged out his eyes red he could hardly talk to him, so my husband kick him out of the house AGAIN but this time is diffrent he has not made contact till today is been about 8 days and he send a text telling me to text back so I did and he didn't txt back his girl friend txt me and said we need to take him back bc he will be in a park bench sleeping soon bc his friends parents are bigining to ask "why is he not going home".
I really don't know what to do and how to deal with this so far I have left my husband to deal with the hole situation bc what I'm going thru my self but this is killing me I love my son so much and I don't know if we are doing the right time by kicking him out, I'm sure you have gone thru this or know someone or just can say something to help me please any advise I will thank you so much
GS

[LONESOME]

Thats what my husband tells me and I do too but I think maybe there is something that I can do before he hits bottom. But I just can't get him to do it, we give him everything I mean everythin (maybe that's the problem) but we live in the best neiborhood, nice place, nice school, the kid has every electronic and that is not enough to make him happy.

[grace10]

My grandmother nearly killed me trying to help me.  Sad's right you have to let him fall on his but, if he won't go to treatment, cut him off.  It's not about you or his dad making him happy or loving him or how you raised him, you can't fix it. He has to, and he has to get really miserable before he'll fix it. He's just wired wrong and has a disease, but it has to be up to him to fix is life, then maintain it.  I know it's harsh and hard to do the tough love thing, Just my experience w/ my family.

[LONESOME]

I just got a call from his probation officer and I told her that he is not following any of the rules and that he is out of the house and she said she is putting a warrant for his arrest today, so if the police get him they will take him to jail ughh, I really hate this

[Draco6453]

I'm 16 going on 17 and have the same situation at home although not nearly to the extreme as your family. My parents found out about that i smoke weed and drink occasionally and flipped out (still don't know about the pills I take every now and then), though i continue to do it because I don't see it as a problem. The key to making him stop is not to bully him into quitting until the last resort. If you bully from the start it'll make him want to resist your wishes even more and it'll probably get worse. He probably continues to do it either because he's addicted (time for rehab, hopefully consensual) or he doesn't know the full extent of what will happen to him with constant usage. You need to change his mindset and tell him what will happen to him and support it with facts. I hate to say this but the constant drug tests have to go or else he'll will completely stray away an lie to you to avoid the drug tests. You have talk to him about how you can fix this problem TOGETHER. Don't be angry if he strays now and again but be understanding and help him through it. Instead of popping a drug test  on him give him a vague idea of when it is so it won't be parents v. kids. If you try to be understanding a keep an open mind it should work though slowly and surely. After all this and its still to the point where its detrimental to his health, you'll have no other choice but to send him to rehab so he can get the bad side of drugs first hand.

Sorry its a bit long but i'd thought you'd like to see it from closer to your son's point of view - Draco

[LONESOME]

Thanks I know that it dosen't matter what you provide for them and it is a disease is maybe my fault I probably gave him that disease I know I did God I really hate my self for all that I have done

[LIZZIE LOU]

getting drugs in jail/prison is pretty easy.

your son is still young enough to help him.  dont just give up and leave it up to him to "decide".  a person under the influence of drugs is not capable of making a rational decision about what is best for him...especially a 17 year old.

your son needs rehab...not jail.!.!.!  sticking him into jail is NOT going to help...and he will probably come out a different person than he went in...not for the good either.