PAWS (or whatever is sucking the life out of me)

[innocencelost]

A recap: stopped norco Jan 30, preceded by stopping morphine Nov./2012. My energy level has improved, and I am exercising daily, eating properly, sleeping with help of Melatonin and generally am more productive..... I am grateful for these changes. However my state of mind continues to be bleak. I am emotionally flat, save for bouts of extreme anxiety. I feel like I am existing rather than living, my life is in black and white while watching others seemingly living theirs in color. I can not summon enthusiasm about anything. Things that used to bring me snippets of happiness and optimism no longer do and of course this is depressing. I feel badly that I have not even posted anything to help others on this site, to give them encouragement, I apologize. There seems to be different opinions about PAWS, but my concern is that I am doing everything that is meant to help ease this. My question is have others gone through this phase in recovery? Improvement does occur I've read but, in the interim, this boat is sinking.

[adexec181]

Some additional info on adrenal fatigue and what symptoms it may cause...
http://www.livestrong.com/article/205811-adrenal-repair-diet/

[adexec181]

Hey innocence...I feel a lot like you do too..I am almost 50 days out,  but I  found one thing that got me going..it was just a little creative project, but I got so into it, it meant a world of difference to me to just get started on that project and feel normal again.  Not to say that several times a day I lose all of my energy and feel lost again, and the old things that used to charge me up give me no fulfillment anymore..they a just arduous tasks sometimes, but try to find one thing that can spark your interest and see if that doesn't help with the feelings like your life will never be the same.  The other thing...Rhodiola helped me somewhat with energy..I have to take its three times a day, but it does help...I can tell about 1/2 hour after I take it that my outlook gets better, not by yards or miles..but def by inches...and the slow progress is frustrating, but encouraging that things are improving over time.  The other thing I am doing is taking an adrenal builder...Doctor Wilson's is the brand..got it online from a vitamin store.  Based on my own research, it will take about 6 months to really get your adrenal glands kicking in again and starting to produce the chemicals and hormones needed to repair all brain and thymus function, but I believe it is helping me.  Also just heard about the importance of vitamin D to energy so have upped my daily dose of that to 5,000mgs.  Baby steps...and I gauge my success no longer day by day but week by week...I feel better than last week, maybe not better than yesterday, but a whole lot of improvement from a week or two ago and certainly a month ago.  Takes a long time to heal....Hang in there...it is sooo worth it.

[overopiates]

Just wondering if u have thought of talking to a doctor about anti depressants?The ones that r for seratonin re uptake(I think thats how its said).Opiates deplete the heck out of all the chemicals ur body naturally produces and yes it can take a year to get it back to normal.My doctor put me on cymbalta which worked great(but very expensive,no generic,no coved by insurance&I didnt have insurance anyway then lol),explained he switched me directly to effexor er Ive been on a few months now and its great.There r different types of AD meds that work on different things/do different.My neurologist said this group is perfect for people who quit opiates after long use&have all the symptoms u have described.I believe its cymbalta,paxil,effexor&a couple others zoloft I believe too but my husband is switching from that cause of side effects which a lot of people say about zoloft.I know this is long I wanna help cause I felt the exact same way.U dnt have to wait a yr or months to feel better.Talk to ur doctor,ask what he/she thinks about this,start on a small dose to see if thats enough2get u back to a normal place of being able to live,get excited about life,normal stuff u did before the pills.I swear by these.If ur worried about taking them a long time explain u wanna try them,if they help(they will),u wanna take them temorarily(6-12months)then a super slow taper to c how u feel and if ur brain is producing that happy stuff on its own by then.NO NEED to feel so hum drum when its not necessary.Hope all works out:-)

[paddleback]

Hang in there it does get better I was in a fog for a long time. Look into vitamin D3 this was a life saver for me. I also do ACV therapy. It really was all that helped me get my brain back along with a high protein, no preservative diet. They had put me on so many medications it threw my body, hormones and emotions off. I'm now medication free and pain free for the most part. Give yourself time, this didn't happen over night. I had to change my diet do to my condition (ruptured disks in back) but the surprise effect was wonderful all the way around. It took the D3 about two weeks to really start kicking in. I'm almost at my one year off pain killers and life has been so wonderful.

Good luck!!

[VICourageous]

PS....The aminoacids for balanced protein protection....

[hope6hope]

I think you should get all done up but a new outfit and go out looking amazing :) sometimes getting out helps. Also if your in a state that's cold try going to the tanning bed that can help also. I know it's hard but try your best to get out of the house and have fun. Do things to pamper yourself. If you have a bad day withing 24 hours of the bad day you need to do something kind for yourself that you will enjoy. Let loved ones around you know your down in the dumps so they can encourage you to get up and moving. I hope things get better :)

[VICourageous]

Hi It sounds like you are doing good on getting the body going...You know about the brain thing..For me when the dr said it could take a yr or two for the brain...I kind of laugh a bit now.. I will be 6month any day and my mind feels happy but the body will not follow as well...I started out right away with all the aminoacids because I read it is a brain healer..I get them compounded 1000mg they are all the Ls.....a-v...And I just picked up the Rhodiola that I have read here good stuff...I always take the magnz faithfully with all my other vit/min...manz & L-Theanine and B-6 & 12 Plus are the big brain builders..You know it gets the gabba,serintoin and enorphines back up were they should be....I am sure there is more that can help but I wish u well on your journey..There is so much I do every day...
God Bless us all..
vickie

[innocencelost]

Bryan,
When you suggest a protein and amino acid supplement, what do or did you take? Thanks to you and everyone else who responded, helps greatly.

[innocencelost]

To answer your question, yes I am taking a good multivitamin, vitamin B complex, LTyrosine and eating plenty of protein ie. tofu, yogurt, nuts etc. Also 5HTP, but don't know if I will continue with it as notice no influence, good nor bad. I understand that it takes time for the brain to heal; it's just to go day after day feeling in such a funk with no reprieve, no breather, no lightness is tiresome. I do play music, really loud, to drown out the incessant chatter in my head.

[FourJays]

It sounds like you are doing all the right things - I feel the exact same way sometimes.  I does get better though; it's like windows that open up and let the light back in . . . . slowly.  Sometimes they are just tiny little chips and then some days, suddenly big chunks will break free!  

Hang in there . . .  :)

[Ben727]

In addition to the previous three comments, which I think are right on, I would add: What are you proactively doing to release dopamine in a healthy way? I see you're doing exercise, which has to be the #1 way of doing this, what else? Everyone is different, so there's no universal way (other than maybe exercise). For me it's music. Some can get blissed-out on meditation. Others find motorcycles to be euphoric. Pets, movies, hobbies, march madness, charity work, whatever gets you feeling good. Therapist told me to find one new thing (at least) that made me feel good (and, of course, that was healthy). Hope that helps.

[Fireby29]

The science is pretty clear that it takes about a year to get our brains healed to as good as they are going to be.  Our brains get really dinged up on the narcotics, and it is a process to get them back in shape.  You are doing the right things, hang in there.  All I would add is try to take a quality protein and amino acid supplement to help your brain maximize its healing.

What you are going through is normal, but not easy, I know.  Remind yourself that you are getting there slowly but surely.  

Bryan

[toothfairie]

hi...yes i went thru that, and to some extent, still going thru it...it's hard to bridge that gap from using pills to a clean life...how to live, how to enjoy life...i can tell you it does get better....my addiction counselor says she wants me at 6 months clean and if i am not where i should be with this....she will consider having me start on an AD...i REALLY don't want this so i'm fighting hard to get my life back....i am at 4 months clean now so i have 2 months to figure it out....working the steps of NA is suppose to help us with this...i hope so....good luck with it...it does get better!!  

[YesLife4Me]

I'm really sorry you are still mostly down.  Have you talked to your Dr about the possibility of an anti depressant?   Are you taking any LTyrosine, B Vitamins or Multi-Vitamin/Mineral?