Husband's relapse

[Nour138]

My husband used to be a Heroin addict for over 10 years, he used to ask for help several times during that period, get clean then start using again. That was finished almost three years ago then we met got got married. he used to say that he is clean but one day (around two years ago) he confessed using Tramadol and asked for my help to stop and we did. now we got our first baby girl (one year old) he claimed not loving me anymore and left us three months ago. he came once to visit his daughter and had a very dark skin and weight loss. Is he using again? and if so, is it possible that he will come back to us after all these months and ask for help? or this is his final decision and our story is over?

[Nour138]

Many thanks for your kindness, maybe this is sad but true as well. I have nothing to do but to pray for him to recover and find the right way of living and for our life to be good again.

[VICourageous]

Hi..I am so sorry to hear this, BUT addiction is a Brain Disease and there is no cure but it can go into remission. There are MANY reason why we used. Many come from some Mental Emotions that we have to work on for most of our life's or we can fall down one more time. The sad thing is when we are High we are not thinking with a real Brain but a Drugged up one.
I sure do pray for his sake that he reaches out for Support in many ways. You can also get on line and look up info regarding this disease in a more Scientific Explanation. This sure did help my Hub to understand more, BUT it is not a cure and we can not walk this Journey alone. Maybe he just left to go and hang with other people who are using..I DO NOT KNOW WHY, but I would bet he is hanging with the wrong crowd. YOU take care of YOU and your Daughter right now. As mentioned above this will only bring more pain if he was there suc*king every Positive thing out of you..
I sure do Pray that he will see the light one more time.
Bless

[Nour138]

Thanks for your concern, as far as I know he was treated and cured even he was very healthy and got more healthy during our marriage also gained too much weight. I don't understand how could someone ignore all of those blessings and get back in the middle of nowhere!!! any why!!!!

[ActingBrandNew]

He may or may not have left because of drug use. Only he knows that answer. My heart goes out to you as it sounds like you truly care for your husband and want to be a family. I always look at someones profile before I respond and I see your in Cairo. You mentioned that your husband "had" Hep C. Did he get treatment for it? I myself went through the treatment from  2012-2013 and have been cured. My concern is that if he is having skin issues (jaundice) and weight loss that he still may be infected and if hes using he is just hurting himself that much more.

My advice to you is to take care of you and your daughter. You can still love your husband from a distance. If he is using...he will have to want to get clean on his own. Theres nothing you will be able to say to him that will influence him either way.

I wish you and your family the best.

[Nour138]

Thanks dear, I know he is no good for both of us now if he is back on drugs and most of ppl say he is definitely back as he is free now. but I keep telling myself maybe he doesn't or maybe one day he will suffer from being away from us and think of coming back from whatever he is doing.

[Nour138]

Thank you so much for your response, I think the skin gets dark due to liver issues related to drug usage, specially that he had virus C earlier.
Whoever, I have no intention of forcing him it's just hard for me to accept him leaving us after this love story and after having the daughter he was dreaming of and loved her toooooo much. I'll try harder to let go and may God choose the good for me and my daughter.

[Yesidid]

Sweetie you story isn't over until the Good Lord says that it is.  It is important for you to be able to mentally separate yourself from your daighter's father.  The long term outlook for him does not seem good but that does not mean your future and the future of your daughter has to be sacrificed too.  He needs to get clean on his own and the decision needs to be his.  This "decision"'is a complicated thing and though you would like it to be as simple as "please chose me and the baby over heroin" - it is not that simple at all. He is sick and if he is on heroin again, he is physically addicted to a very powerful drug.  It will kill him or he will stop - it's that simple. But he is in no position to help you raise a child right now.  If he is using he will only make your lives harder.  Let go. Ask him to come back if/when he gets his acts together. Until them focus on you and the baby.  It's the best way. I promise.

[Merri123]

I'm not sure if he is using or not. Weight loss maybe. Never heard of darker skin unless he has a tan now.

I know things have been hard and shocking. You have to do right now what is best gor you and your daughter. You can't force him to come back. And if he is using, you don't need to deal with thst either. You have a child to take care of. Children change your life and dome people can't handle that. Only he can tell you why he left.

Until then take care of yourselves. Love thst little girl. Make sure she is safe if he sees her. And do what is needed to protect yourself for the future. I'm sorry you are going they this. It is tough. You'll be ok though.