Hydrocodone Withdrawal and Detox

[MACCKT902]

Ok, I've posted on here before but here I am again fighting this demon for one more go 'round.  :(  I just need some advice as quickly as possible.  Ok, I have been taking them for going on 10 years and they became just a habit, even a necessity to live if that makes sense.  I used to spend every single penny on them when we weren't getting our two scripts each month just to get us by.  By we I mean my wife and I.  She was getting 90 10/325 Norco's yellow and 120 10/500 Hydrocodone Blue.  Well, lets just say our little addiction spiraled out of control and through methods I won't devulge, we were getting 120 of them about every day or every other day at the least.  Well, Mr. Trouble came knocking and that supply was stopped abruptly.  Soo, being kind of smart about it, I had a few left and started the process of tapering.  I didn't do it the way everyone suggests because I didn't have nearly enough for that but I did kind of quickly reduce my intake everyday or every other day stepping down.  All of this has been in the last two to three weeks but I had it down to taking a half of a 10 twice a day and I didn't feel great but I didn't have withdrawals. Well I got down to my last half and didn't take it.  I took my last half this past Sunday morning and by that night was feeling BAD!  So Monday rolls around and I sit with the anxious, about to have a heart attack feeling all day and finally on tuesday I took the other half at around noon.  My questions is, since Tuesday I have gotten what seems like a cold, sinus infection, flu and strep throat all at once and I have to start a job Monday. I can only get two but I'm wondering would it mess me up to get those and take a 1/4 twice a day and then when those are gone stop for good?  I think I just stopped too quickly and I feel like I am F'ing dying!!!  Someone let me know what you think because this is torture!!!  Thanks!

[tgtiffany]

AWESOME!!!  And Mack, don't thank us as much as you thank yourself! :)   Keep it up :)

[ImDONENoMore]

OMG you sound SO great!!!!  This is such wonderful news mack.  I am very VERY happy that you're doing so well.  Hang in and stay strong - and keep going.  Your help to your wife will be PRICELESS.  :)

[MACCKT902]

Well, I know I haven't posted on here in a number of days but does anyone wanna guess what I've been doing for the last six days or so?????  Working!  AND.....  Still have not taken ONE pill!!  I feel stupid for saying this but it is a GREAT feeling!!  Not so much saying I feel great but just knowing that I CAN do this and that it WILL get better.  Each day gets a little easier....  Tomorrow will be 10 FREAKING DAYS clean and I NEVER NEVER thought I would make it to this point.  I started my job which is actually on-the-job training for the first 7 weeks so it's really nothing more than sitting in a classroom for eight hours a day.  Which at times ***** but I just remind myself that I'm sitting there CLEAN for the first time in over 10 years and it makes everything seem a little better.  I have been coming home from work and passing out by 9PM and sleeping straight through till that damn alarm wakes me up to start another trying day but like I said, I can tell now it's getting easier as the days go by.  I'm SOOO grateful for everyone's support and kind and sometimes funny words as they DID make me smile and did help me have the strength minute by minute to beat this nasty disease.  Being where I am now just makes me have more empathy and support for my wife when we start her process because now I know what will help a little here and there and when I tell her "It will get better!!" I actually know from experience that it truly does get better and my blood pressure has been so close to perfect lately and I feel like a thousand pounds fell of my shoulders because I no longer have to worry about where the next pills or the money to buy them are gonna come from.  OK, well, that's my update. Again, THANK YOU to everyone who has offered encouraging words, advice and some cheer-me-up when you thought it was needed. I couldn't have done this without reading on this site and seeing other people's experiences and knowing that there are literally thousands if not millions of people fighting every minute, day and week just like I am.  I've gotta go pass out for work now....  :)

[hiddenme]

Vicki..I loved the comment about u sitting on the cookie. It made me laugh out loud and honestly I forgot I was even capable! Thank you! MACK...good for you turning them down! Its not easy..the mind battle is tortuous. something I hate is when my thoughts are loud.. And yes the airplane analogy is great...its makes so much sense. I wish my husband would step up...I need him just like she needs you. Good luck with the new job!    

[criminy1]

I heard that. Great for my sinuses but not for much else:-)

[Back2Me]

Opioids always dried my sinuses up wonderfully. I have bad sinuses and allergies and it totally cured that business. One thing I actually DO miss :(. Nothing I can take makes me breath as good as I did while taking them. And EVERY time I stopped it was a huge snot fest for about 2-3 weeks. So I think that's why so many people get sick like that after they quit. I would usually have about 3 killer sinus infections a year but on pain pills I had ZERO in like 4 years. Still not worth it but still. I do miss breathing :)

[tgtiffany]

Haha.  I'm pretty sure that made him laugh :)  At least smile a little bit!!!   The plane flights I've taken before were to China and omg there was absolutely no room!!  

And you know those brochures you flight attendants hand out and people buy things at ridiculous prices.  That person was me. I bought a $10 pen (it lights up in different colors!!)  and now it doesn't even work.  Actually stopped working about a week after I got home.  Worst purchase ever!  

[megaregz84]

im very proud of you for turning down the 2...i know how hard that was. the last time i quit i was clean and sober for 7 months and it was only 1 pill that started it all again and now im back to my 8 30's a day plus the vikes inbetween and a suboxine on the "off days". that was a really big step. and if you can turn down those 2 feeling the way you are right now you can def. turn them down in the future

[cleaninitup]

Duct tape works great for the scream I kids and you can fit it in your carry on.I got to buy a blanket for $7 today on a plane-it even came with ear plugs an eye mask and a blow up pillow-it popped lol

[vicki595]

UH...Yes?   I'm the supervisor and no matter what: You Are Wrong.  LOL

Okay...MAC,I hope you're laughing because the Moderators are going to yell at me pretty soon!!

[ImDONENoMore]

Okay I need to speak to this attendant's supervisor.........................................

[vicki595]

You wouldn't BELIEVE where those pillows have been...

Yes...the customer is always right...in a perfect world.  

May I offer you a blanket...for $4.00?   And no...that's the rental fee...you can't keep it!

You want to get up to use the restroom?  I'm sorry but you'll be in our way. Do you see the little bags in the pocket of the seat in front of you?  They're handy...

Thank you for flying with us...and have a lovely stay at your final destination...if you can make it to your gate on time!

[ImDONENoMore]

oh yeah and you KNOW what you can do with that $3 dollar pillow right?

[ImDONENoMore]

One more I promise Mack...

Okay, so a dirty lime, some rubbery chicken or smelly fish, a cookie that was under you bum before you gave it to me AND I'm supposed to be grateful that kid isn't mine?  Man the airlines have changed - what happened to the CUSTOMER is always right????  Suddenly the train is looking very appealing.................

[vicki595]

It's chicken or fish in first class only. Lime is available but I can't guarantee it hasn't rolled around the floor two or three thousand times.  An EXTRA pillow? As in: you already have ONE?  Sure...it's $3.00.   A warm cookie?  No problem...I'll sit on one for a minute and it will be toasty.

The screaming kid?  We're not allowed to man handle them anymore. Just do what we do and thank God it isn't your screaming kid!

MAC--  You realize all this banter is meant to make YOU laugh!  It's part of the medicine and it's definitely the cure!!

xo

[ImDONENoMore]

Well if that's true - can I have a sprite with a wedge of lime please??  And an extra pillow too if you don't mind (and maybe a warm cookie?) - and oh yeah, if you could stop that kid in the back from screaming I would really appreciate it......  (okay, I WILL stop now Mack - sorry again).

[vicki595]

But what if I AM THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT???   OOPS...I'm giving away my secrets...

MAC...bottom line:  Save yourself and keep screaming for help!

[ImDONENoMore]

Sorry mack - I'll stop my interruptions here.  :)

[ImDONENoMore]

Yeah and vicki - that's why you need to be PAYING ATTENTION to the flight attendant when they're doing that whole shpeel before taking off - where are you, in the bathroom???  :)

[ImDONENoMore]

Yeah well I never understood that whole "women and children first" thing!!!  I too think those who scream the LOUDEST should be helped first.  lol  :)

Okay seriously now, listen to everyone mack and don't let yourself feel bad for doing this.  You'll probably end up being an inspiration to your wife and she'll want more than ever to succeed like you.  Stay strong and keep going.

[vicki595]

Oh...what a beautiful analogy ImDONE!  And now while I pick myself up off the floor from laughing so hard...the oxygen thing is when you have a child next to you...get your mask on and then assist them with theirs... isn't that how it goes? I don't know...usually I'm worried about opening the damn shoot to slide out...Is it "push or pull" ?  All I know is that it's me first and when I'm through screaming I'll help you...but it's the same thing with this situation:  Yes,MACK, take care of you and please don't be tempted by all those pills in the house!  That's just not good!   And have a talk with your wife...it's never a good situation when one spouse is still using and the other is trying to get clean. You'll need a lot of support with this so keep posting here and take care of you. It's not selfish by definition. By helping yourself you help everyone around around you!!

[ImDONENoMore]

Your story made me think of something - you know how they tell you on an airplane that in the event of an emergency to be sure you have YOUR oxygen mask on FIRST before trying to save the person next to you???  You're doing the right thing.  :)

[tgtiffany]

I don't think that it's selfish of you, I think it's smart.  If you are by yourself you can focus more and get what needs to be done.  Then like you said you can help her.  Glad you are doing well :)

[MACCKT902]

Well, incase anyone wants to know, I suprised even myself yesterday and turned down the opportunity to get the two pills I could have.  I know for some people that doesn't seem like a big accomplishment but I can say, I AM glad I didn't take them.  I'm had lots of time up at night to sit and think since I don't do much sleeping and I think I am ready to be DONE with these horrible things once and for all.  Other than the half I had tuesday, I really haven't had anything since this past Sunday which makes me feel a little better that by Monday when I start my on the job training, It will have been a week ( - the half tuesday) since I have taken anything at all.  The constant going to the bathroom has stopped, however now the problem is, I haven't been able to go since Monday night.  I'm not sure if I should take something to help go, or just leave it alone and be grateful i'm not going every fifteen minutes like in the beginning of this long process.  Thank EVERYONE for their encouraging words, as they just back up everything I have been telling myself.  It does make me sad that my wife isn't doing this with me because temporarily we are staying with our parents.  Her parents get tons of them a month even though her two scripts we were getting are now cut off, I feel they are feeding them to her out of their bottles and she's not getting any better.  I hate this and I love her more than anything in this world but I think it is best for me to focus on myself right now, get ME better so I can get this job and get OUR lives back on track.  Does that seem selfish??  I fell like it...  :(   I think if I was clean and knew how to deal with the demptation/craving better than I do now I will be able to help her go through this process.  I hope I'm right on this one and me getting clean and her still being driven by this devil drug doesn't tear us apart.  Someone please tell me what you think.... Should I have her here and we be trying to do this together?  The only thing that scares me with that is I am mentally stronger MUCH more than she is so I don't know if us being together would lead to her begging and me craving too and giving in and then we're both back on them.. Hell I don't know.. My mind just races non-stop about this stuff..  Anyhow, I'm off to try and sit comfortably as possible and watch TV and try and pass some more time.  Thanks in advance to anyone who can give me any insight or knowledge about if I'm doing the right thing?