Off the wagon, I think?

[Pasqualina]

Here's my situation.  Every 6-8 months my husband goes on a 24 hour binge (cocaine).  Sometimes he leaves the house, sometimes he hides and does it in the house.  I catch him everytime and everytime he says he's done, never again.  Is this an addiction??  I am so sick of it I want a divorce.  Does he need rehab for one night of drugs??  Every other time this has happened he really just stops.  No signs, no symptoms (and he is a dead giveaway when he's high).

[lovebuckets10]

I dont know he might or might not be. Every 6 - 8 months, thats weid but I as an addict could not just do any drug once every 6 months or so. I would have to think if that really all he is doing no, but others might think he is.

[IBKleen]

Good Morning and Welcome!

I would have to say it's an addiction because he goes back and does it again and the only reason to do something like that would be to escape from some feeling, or situation, etc.

I am an addict and, for me, anything that is mind or mood altering is a danger for me.

Inpatient treatment could help, but he has to first admit that he has a problem, and since he can put it down for long periods..I doubt that he thinks he does.

Have you spoken with him about this?

[road2recovery]

welcome
i have a friend and her husband does this about once a yr, has been doing it for 15 yrs...I never understood it...and to be honest i don't think i would call him an addict..He never drinks or does anything...Just cocaine, binge...Then she firured out the time of yr he does it is exactly when he lost his brother and mom on the same day..

is there some kind of pattern in him??  i have never done cocaine, so i am sure others will give you more advice
Btw--once they had kids he stopped...i wish u the best
r2r

[Curls]

To be a little blunt, is this worth ending the marriage over?  It doesn't sound like it's effecting anything very much.  There is the illegal aspect, and in the house.  

Is it pushing your buttons in some personal way that makes it hard to take?

Maybe the thing to do is  when he's sober again, talk to him.  See what it's about for him, and not to threaten.  There must be some reason this is important to him.  When your by yourself or with a counselor figure out what your concerns are, and then express only what is still important to tell him.  

It would bug me if a spouse did this very much, but marriages have skeletons in their closets.  You have to figure out what ones you can cope with.

[Pasqualina]

He had a sponsor.  Went every single night.  It really was intense how much he was into it.  He said that some of the people there wondered why he came so much.  Everyone else there lost everything, job, family etc.  You know, like rock bottom type thing.  Am I making too much out of this?  Do some people just like to sit and get high every once in awhile??

[IBKleen]

There is something going on--he just isn't talking about it. Until he gets in touch with it.....well..he will repeat his behavior.

And, so you know----NA is not a program. It is a fellowship and although 90 days is great, he should have stuck with it and got a sponsor and worked the steps. He may have gotten in touch with the underlying problem.

[Pasqualina]

Absolutely sure, yes.  He is soooo obvious.   Big pupils, glazed over look, and the clincher is the Jaw movement.  And the fact that he locks himself in our room, then locks the bathroom door.  

[GoingToMakeIt]

Are you absolutely sure you are aware of every time he uses?

[Pasqualina]

Sporadically isn't the word.  The last time was in February.  He went through the ninety day program, did really well, liked all the people, etc.  once summer came we were so busy with the kids, vacation to Italy, down the shore, even hanging out with Jeremy Shockey from the NY Giants.  We really have everything going for us, I just don't understand the problem.  

[GoingToMakeIt]

The awful truth is unless he wants to be helped, he won't get help! To quit anything takes the strong will power of the 'user'. It just seems real strange that he does this so sporadically. Keep us posted.

[Pasqualina]

I speak to him about it everytime it happens.  Last time in February I told him that if he did it again the marriage was over.   Its now December and he did it last night.   All he says is that its stupid and he's sorry.  He went off to work this morning with an attitude towards me.  I asked if it was something I was doing, the kids, etc.  He says no, none of that.  All our bills are paid, christmas shopping is done, he even bought me a puppy for xmas.  I just don't get it.  The last time he did it in Feb. he went to NA to see if he was an addict.  He came home and said he thinks he is.  He stuck with it for the 90 days and seemed fine after that.  Now again, 10 months later we are right back where we started.   HELP!!!