I Just Cut Myself Off, On Purpose, From Any More Oxy Scripts

[Cynful]

Well, I just made the last visit that I ever intend to make to the really poor quality pain management doctor that I have been going to for the last year and a half. It's almost always the physician's assistant that I see, not the doctor- as always, he seems to be elsewhere, possibly the Italian restaurant down the street from the office. I have had an oxycodone addiction for the last three years, and things got even worse when I had to change pain management doctors due to insurance coverage reasons. The doctor that I have been seeing for the last year and a half is **** poor, especially compared to my original doctor, so much so that I feel physically ill as soon as I step into their offices.

It has been a long time coming, and today I vowed that this was my last visit to this subpar facility and staff. The PA, along with the nurse, are both very nice people, however the rest of the staff are very abrupt, can be rude, and give off really bad vibes- I literally want to vomit when I go in there.
Interestingly enough, I ran into another patient at the pharmacy and after talking with her, found out  that I am not the only person who feels this way.

I started pain meds approximately four years ago after being diagnosed with an arthritic spine, and at this particular time, also have a very painful broken elbow- I have undergone one surgery and still have one more to go. Basically, I told the PA that I wanted to begin tapering off the oxycodone- we discussed it in detail and by doing this, I know that I pretty much set myself up to not be able to continue getting future scripts from them, but that is what I wanted to achieve. I am just totally grossed out every time I go over there and am just so ready to quit doing this stuff- I just will not start another year this way (last New Year's eve, I was busy doctor shopping, trying to get more pills).

I have a very addictive personality, and have been doing drugs since approximately age sixteen.
Just like my past cocaine and cigarette addictions, both of which I quit cold turkey, I am now just sick of this oxy **** and am ready to quit- it is no longer pleasurable, it is just a pain in *** and doesn't even address my pain issues anymore anyway. I know I can do this, especially after being able to successfully quit the coking and smoking, and know I will feel a million times better for it in the end.

This is all I have been able to think of for days, and am very much looking forward to having a much more clear head and clean body. There are so many things that I want to accomplish, and this addiction is just wasting my very valuable time- it is motivating to me when I think about the things I could do just by taking all of the energy I spend on this addiction, and focusing it on positive and productive directions instead.

I am tired of all the work it takes to maintain this addiction- it is such a viscious circle and I intend to put a stop to it. My goal is to taper off this medication during the next days as best as I can, while taking care of myself as best I can, one moment at a time- I know I can do this, and plan to use Thanksgiving Day as my target date to refocus and rebuild my life, and open my eyes to all of the great things this world has to offer.

After thirty years of all this garbage, I am truly looking forward to starting 2008 without eating 10-12
(or more), 30 mg. oxycodone pills every day. I have overdosed several times, and I am so lucky that I am alive and well so that I can have the chance to start over.

I choose life and everything that goes with it- to continue this addiction would be to not choose life.

Thank you all so much for listening - I really appreciate it and will continue posting as I go through this...I have two succesful "quits" under my belt with the cocaine and cigarettes, so I know I can do this too!

[GA Guy]

What a brave step to take. I did something similar with my GP a few months ago. It was a very brave thing for you to do. Congratulations. Now..what is your detox play? Aftercare?

[KRC1959]

You do sound so very positive, and I have thought the same thing many times when you said, You dont want to start another New year on the meds. I took my last percocet a little bit ago and am determined to ride it out, I just hope I can make it through work tomorrow. Have a great Night,       Jay Dean

[imanaddict]

You sound so positive about it, and also sound READY which is the key in being successful. If you keep up that positive attitude, anything is possible! Hopefully you will be able to taper as you plan, that was not an option for me. I just couldn't do it! I love being on suboxone, and am now 24 days without those little evil yellow pills (Norco). Please keep us posted on your progress! I would love to hear a great success story! Just keep those words in your mind at all times: I CAN DO THIS!!!!!

Good luck!