So hard the first couple of days clean

[kris123]

why is it so hard.  All I keep thinking about are the d a m n pills.  I feel stupid and not normal.  My body is weak, my mood is depressed, and I got a mix of anxeity with that.  Put on top of that I am pregnant and bipolar.  So all this going on and it is just so hard.  I haven't taken a pill since Tuesday at 6am.  So I am going on day 3, day 3 will be 6am tomorrow.  When does the craving go away??

[stilltrying1965]

Your right and you know what happens when we think we can just have that odd couple of pills or whatever our doc is but as soon as you take even 1 thats it, your back to square one. Have you been getting some sleep, at least if you have some sleep its not too bad. I dont sleep at all, just hang in there, things will get better and itll all be worth it. Stay strong, its going to be worth it, i promise

[kris123]

Yes, time seems to just be so slow at times.  I think oh i will take four pills and that is it but that is not how it works, you want more, you dr shop, you buy off the street, it never is enough and then it takes a hold of you so fast you don't even know what happen and the high, well it really isn't that great anymore because you have to take more and it doesn't last as long so you get to taking them all day long and get up to 20pills a day - that crazy.  When I took 24 pills one day, I knew I wasn't right.  Another hour at work.  I can get home, fix dinner for the kids, give my 2 year old a bath and then we watch tv.  We go to bed and I take seroquel(Sp) and I sleep.

[stilltrying1965]

Hi kris, im so sorry your in so much pain just now.I am on day 6 after throwing away 200 days plus clean. But i was stupid, very stupid to go back to it ( smoking heroin for 13 years). You are starting to peak and it will get better very soon, i promise you. It is so worth it, your life will be so so different. Violet is right, it will be worse if you go back to the pills. I know its very hard to stop thinking about them but thats normal we all have that. Think of your baby, you dont want to have your baby being born with a drug habit, that would make you feel so much worse too. If your bipolar, it will maybe make it feel worse but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Living clean is wonderful and you have all that to look forward to. Keep thinking happy thoughts and keep posting here. Keep your mind occupied. I know time is slow but it does keep moving and in a few days you will feel a lot better. You can do this, i know you can. I feel for you, i really do. But you must keep up the good work for you and your baby. Ill be thinking of you. Stay strong, stay positive and fight this with everything youve got, good luck....James and Kim

[violet29]

Hello I am on day 3 also... and I feel your pain.  II can barely move and my mind's a blur, even speech is difficult.  Right now, I'm just going to keep working on my plans to get healthy and think of how good I WILL feel and just go through the motions of the day and not get overwhelmed, like do one thing at a time and try not to do to much.

However bad you feel right now, it will be so much worse if you go back to the drugs... so just get through this, I know you can!!

Best of luck to you!
Violet