Aa
I dont know what to do!
I really need some help i have so many loved ones addicted to perscription pills and i dont know how much more i can take. I want to make sure this is the correct way of doing this before i go in detail so could someone let me know if this is where i post my concerns.Please and thank you.
Hi help us,
Yes, you've certainly come to the right place, and you can safely tell us your story.
There is also a group for supporting family members, but here will do just fine.
We're ready when you are.
Take care
Yes, you've certainly come to the right place, and you can safely tell us your story.
There is also a group for supporting family members, but here will do just fine.
We're ready when you are.
Take care
Thank you all so much.Well i am 32 i have three kids two girls and a boy 14, 10, and 8. They are my life. I met there dad when i was 13 married him when i was 15. My mom has been a alcoholic since i was about 10. I started drinking with her at about 11 or 12. She was a perfect mom before then. I drink a lot until my oldest daughter was about 1 yr old i am ashamed of that but im glad i no longer do it. I divorced my husband about 5 years ago because of years of physical, emotional abuse and his drug abuse. I went It was the hardest thing i had to go through. My mom is addicted to pain med, zanax, and use to do zomas i hated it i would get phone calls cuz she has caught her house fire, she would drive with my daughter in the car with her i was so afraid of a phone call that she would be dead.She will do anything for a pill. My ex husband was about the same he would be gone for days n i would find him in barnes almost dead from overdosing he was on the needle and anything else he could get. Well i was able to get away from all that and my mom is doing better but we still have the pain med problem with her and from time to time the zanaxes. Well i meet a wonderful man about 4 years ago he is a dream come true so i thought. He is awsome with my kids. He does everything for them. There dad dont come around n lies to them all the time he dont help support them financially he is in and out of jail so my boyfriend has been there father figure for the last 4 years.My son worships the ground he walks on he goes to work with him he wants to be with him every minute of his days. After moving in with him we lived together for about 6 months and i found out he was shooting up. I left him and moved into a low income apartment.He still stayed involved with me and my kids i loved him so much i just wanted to help him get ogg drugs but i was devistated because i never dreamed he would do something like that well after several months of me working with him he stopped he has been off the needle since december 10th of 2007. I hope so anyway. In july of 2008 we bought a place well i did and he moved in with me.Things were going so good then i noticed his money was not being showed for and he would work 7 days a week all day long i found out from other people and because of my past with loved ones on drugs that he was using percs. He started going to florida to get 100s from dr i begged n threatened for him to stop. I made him leave till he stoped goin to fl. Since then its been a battle with him he has had my son at drug dealers houses he has stolen from me my kids and my family. He interdused them to my younger sister that has 2 kids. She has lost one of them to his dad because of this. Him, my mom and my sister are always working together to get a pill i hate it. I can get away from my mom n my sis but not him i love him and he is so perfect in everyway but i cant keep living like this. I told him he has till sept to figure out something to do or he has to leave but im so scared i dont want to loose my home i only have 3 years till its paid off and i cant afford it by myself and it is going to devistate my kids him being gone he is the dad they have never had. We all love him so much but i dont know what else to do im so scared!!!!I have been put on nerve pill and antidepressants over this i have only took stuff like yhis once in my life and it was a devistating incident that io went through years ago with my daughter. I dont know what to do any advise please im going crazy and im so scared for me and my kids.
I hope i didnt confuse anyone but iv not got anyone to talk to and i just wanted to get it all off my chest. Thank you so much.
Hi Help,
You have a lot going on. What I can tell you from personal experience is first, we attract what we are comfortable with. So you gravitating to another drug or alcohol abuser is no great shock. As uncomfortable as it may be it is actually normal for you in some way.
Now, as far as giving him ultimatums to get clean -- it will not work. Did it work with your mom? Your sister? Your ex? From the sounds of it, it did not. I will NOT work with him either. Until he admits to his problem and seeks help he will continue to use. He has no choice as long as he is using drugs.
All of that being said there is something you can do for you. I suggest that you look into a support group. There you will meet people just like yourself and have gone through this or are still doing so. They can share their experience with you and help you to heal.
I cannot see this getting any better until you get help and he gets help. Your children are now looking to him as a role model and what do you think will happen when they become of age?
Like I said, you cannot save him but you can save you. I am not trying to down play this. It is going to be hard. You deserve a better life and you deserve to be happy.
I am glad you found your way here and hope you stick around. Keep talking and listening to the members. There is great support here.
You have a lot going on. What I can tell you from personal experience is first, we attract what we are comfortable with. So you gravitating to another drug or alcohol abuser is no great shock. As uncomfortable as it may be it is actually normal for you in some way.
Now, as far as giving him ultimatums to get clean -- it will not work. Did it work with your mom? Your sister? Your ex? From the sounds of it, it did not. I will NOT work with him either. Until he admits to his problem and seeks help he will continue to use. He has no choice as long as he is using drugs.
All of that being said there is something you can do for you. I suggest that you look into a support group. There you will meet people just like yourself and have gone through this or are still doing so. They can share their experience with you and help you to heal.
I cannot see this getting any better until you get help and he gets help. Your children are now looking to him as a role model and what do you think will happen when they become of age?
Like I said, you cannot save him but you can save you. I am not trying to down play this. It is going to be hard. You deserve a better life and you deserve to be happy.
I am glad you found your way here and hope you stick around. Keep talking and listening to the members. There is great support here.
Wow, you are going through alot of stuff right now. The best thing for you is to concentrate in you and your kids. I nkow that is esier said than done. But from personal exsperience i di better when my family backed off from always bailing me out of situations. They told me they would always be there for me but would no longer enable me and my addiction. I am not saying that is what you are doing. But you should distance yourself safely from all of them. Your children need to see that you do not approve of any of the behavior your family is showing. Let them all know you are there for them but will no longer put up with their drug habits. Just do the best thing for you and your kids. Your family will see that you mean bussiness when you do this. I wish you and everyone in your life the best of luck.And just know you can always come here for support and advise.
Get to an ALAnon meetings, they will help you and show you a good way to get through this.
Hi Help us,
I was really sorry to read your sad story.
I hope it helped you just a little to be able to put it all down on paper and get it off your chest.
You say that you have no-one else to talk to. Do you have a friend perhaps, one who isn't into drugs at all, and who you trust. Opening up to someone else and getting a little support can be a great thing. If you don't, then at least you know you have a lot of friends right here that you can turn to at any time.
You've been given a lot of good advice. Sadly the others are right. You cannot change your partner unless he decides to do it himself. Threats like telling him to get clean by September won't work. He needs to want to do this for himself. My only suggestion would be that you might encourage him to read some of the posts on this site. Specially the success stories. A little inspiration might at least make him begin to think.
Meantime, you've got so much going on that of course your brain can't handle it. I'm sre this situation, that's been going on so long has damaged your confidence, motivation and self esteem. If you can afford it, you could go back to your doctor and ask him to refer you to a counsellor. You need to begin tackling all the conflicting emotions in your mind.
As the others say, you must put yourself and your children first just now.
Once you've had a chance to mull over all that the other posters have advised, come back online, and we'll be more than happy to answer any questions that we can, or just listen to you if that is what you want.
Thinking of you.
Take care
I was really sorry to read your sad story.
I hope it helped you just a little to be able to put it all down on paper and get it off your chest.
You say that you have no-one else to talk to. Do you have a friend perhaps, one who isn't into drugs at all, and who you trust. Opening up to someone else and getting a little support can be a great thing. If you don't, then at least you know you have a lot of friends right here that you can turn to at any time.
You've been given a lot of good advice. Sadly the others are right. You cannot change your partner unless he decides to do it himself. Threats like telling him to get clean by September won't work. He needs to want to do this for himself. My only suggestion would be that you might encourage him to read some of the posts on this site. Specially the success stories. A little inspiration might at least make him begin to think.
Meantime, you've got so much going on that of course your brain can't handle it. I'm sre this situation, that's been going on so long has damaged your confidence, motivation and self esteem. If you can afford it, you could go back to your doctor and ask him to refer you to a counsellor. You need to begin tackling all the conflicting emotions in your mind.
As the others say, you must put yourself and your children first just now.
Once you've had a chance to mull over all that the other posters have advised, come back online, and we'll be more than happy to answer any questions that we can, or just listen to you if that is what you want.
Thinking of you.
Take care
I think you all so much for your advise it really did help to get it out. I do have one sister that is not a addict and some friends, I work alot and take care of my kids im sort of a loner when it comes to friends but the people I do have judge me and say im stupid for staying with him. But they just dont understand i love him so much and i dont want to give up on him. I thought giving him a ultamatum might make him see that he would rather have a life with us then the drugs I have done everything i could think of to help him. He says he wants help but yet he lies to me and keeps stuff from me and never sticks to what he says hes gonna do to get off the pills. He has read some of the post with me but i wonder if he does these things just to make everything ok for the moment. We talked this evening and he wants to pay our bills a head and take 2 weeks off and just stay at home to get off the pills i want to hope that he is sincere and that would work but he went almost a month off of them before and ended up right back on them. I told him i would get a second job to pay the bills if he would go to rehab or even to try staying home to get off of them but he and i are scared that will be too much i already work 40 + a week but with just that income wont pay the bills. My kids already know about his problem and my moms and sisters and with there dad he never kept it a secret from them.With my mom and sister they have seen them messed up on zanax and zomas so i just explain to them how dangerous it is and how bad it is im so scare that it being in there life by so many they will steer that way so i have knowledged them as much as i can about it and with me and my boyfriends situation they have seen a lot of tears from me and him and have noticed a big change in me they had questions of what was wrong and why. Before i got on medication for my nerves i cried all the time or i would loose my temper alot i felt they needed a explanation of why so me and him sat down and explained it to them was that wrong of me should i of kept it from them? I have litarally become absessed with there addictions i have called there drug dealers and threatened them. some it worked some not.Every minute of my day i think about it. With my mom and my sister i could stay completely away from them but i love them and my neice so much and i worry about my neice she is only 2 years old so i cant completely with draw myself from them.
I have a question that i would like to get from a addicts point of veiw and someone that is not a addict DO I GIVE UP ON HIM OR DO I KEEP FIGHTING TO SAVE HIM!!!!!!! And any advise of what i can do to help him or to be a stronger person to get out.
I have checked into some naranon meetings and i have found one close to me I plan to start attending them.
And again i am so thankful for you all and i know noone can tell me what to do but i think everyones thoughts will help me so much just knowing i have someone to talk to has been alot of help.I am so sorry to keep going on and on but i have keept this in for so long and i have so much inside me.I really feel lost.
Do u think because i am gravitated to drug and alcohol abusers that if he does get off pills i may not find myself loving him as i do know?
Should i try the naranon meetings before seeking a counsilor?
Thanks so much for all of your help!!!!
I have a question that i would like to get from a addicts point of veiw and someone that is not a addict DO I GIVE UP ON HIM OR DO I KEEP FIGHTING TO SAVE HIM!!!!!!! And any advise of what i can do to help him or to be a stronger person to get out.
I have checked into some naranon meetings and i have found one close to me I plan to start attending them.
And again i am so thankful for you all and i know noone can tell me what to do but i think everyones thoughts will help me so much just knowing i have someone to talk to has been alot of help.I am so sorry to keep going on and on but i have keept this in for so long and i have so much inside me.I really feel lost.
Do u think because i am gravitated to drug and alcohol abusers that if he does get off pills i may not find myself loving him as i do know?
Should i try the naranon meetings before seeking a counsilor?
Thanks so much for all of your help!!!!
Im so scared he has been out for the last 3 nights till 1 or 2 in the morning and has been way over doing it on the pills. last night he come home bout 2 in the morning we had a big fight cuz he bought 3 perc 30s and his med from his dr i made him leave. i dont want him to come back but i dont know what im gonna do to pay my bills i told him not to but now im scared. what do i do just make him stay gone n hope i figure out how to pay my bills or do i let him come back if he will im going crazy i also found out he is chewing fentanyl patches with my mom n sister i need him to be gone im going crazy but what if i cant pay my bills i only make about 1200 a month working full time n i have about 1600 in bills i dont think i can get another job but i gotta do something i cant keep letting me and my kids live like this.im so scared and confused.
You need to break free, save yourself and your kids. Your mom and sister don't want to quit, neither does the boyfriend... he is pacifying you. Even if you have to get another PT job to cover the $400. You may can handle all the drama, but ur kids dont need it.
Let me share something with you, if the are chewing on fentanyl patches, it is only a matter of time before you will be attending funerals. Not to sound harsh, but this situation is deterioting quickly. Do some research online. One of the very 1st post I read was from a lady who had lost her partner to that.
Worry about the things you can control, try not to even think about the things you can't. Things will get better quickly, you might lose a few "friends/loved ones" but I got a tell you, they aren't spending alot of time worrying about you. True/False? Just another perspective. I feel for you and am not in the middle of your situation as you are, so I have a little broader view. Best of Luck and God Bless.. You are a very strong lady who has been through a lot, you deserve better.
Let me share something with you, if the are chewing on fentanyl patches, it is only a matter of time before you will be attending funerals. Not to sound harsh, but this situation is deterioting quickly. Do some research online. One of the very 1st post I read was from a lady who had lost her partner to that.
Worry about the things you can control, try not to even think about the things you can't. Things will get better quickly, you might lose a few "friends/loved ones" but I got a tell you, they aren't spending alot of time worrying about you. True/False? Just another perspective. I feel for you and am not in the middle of your situation as you are, so I have a little broader view. Best of Luck and God Bless.. You are a very strong lady who has been through a lot, you deserve better.
Your kids deserve better. I am in the same boat with my bf. I have him an ultimatum and he is now in a methadone program and its like I got him (and MY life back). The person who said we attract like is right. All of us who are drug addicts have a temperament. We're loving, highly sensitive people...many of us are creative. There is a type. We flock together.
I'm 13 years clean so I can tell you that it can be done. My bf admitting (well, I knew before he admitting) that he was using just pissed me off at addiction again so I went looking for support and to support others.
Drive him to a treatment program and then you've done your part. Beyond that you don't owe him more. He owes himself more. If he won't go into a treatment to save his life then he is the type that will drag you under. I know you won't listen to any of us, so let me say this...
you will lose your kids if anyone finds out. be smart. he's not more important than they are.
God bless.
I'm 13 years clean so I can tell you that it can be done. My bf admitting (well, I knew before he admitting) that he was using just pissed me off at addiction again so I went looking for support and to support others.
Drive him to a treatment program and then you've done your part. Beyond that you don't owe him more. He owes himself more. If he won't go into a treatment to save his life then he is the type that will drag you under. I know you won't listen to any of us, so let me say this...
you will lose your kids if anyone finds out. be smart. he's not more important than they are.
God bless.
Listen to these posts, do yourself a HUGE favor and learn from other people's experiences. You know how people say, "they have to learn things for themselves" NOT ALWAYS. You CAN learn from other's experiences, you can and you will if you let yourself. Don't end up learning the hard way. Think things are bad now? They can get much much worse. Save yourself and the kids. You have three years to pay off the house, there has to be help for you for that. There has to be someone in your church or community or doctor's office or kids' school who can point you in the right direction. But staying with him will just ruin everything even more because he doesn't want to change right now, he doesn't love himself enough and you can't do ANYTHING about that. You love him, and you can keep loving him. He's there, he'll be there, God willing, you just gotta love him from a distance. Maybe he'll come around but right now only have concern for your kids and for yourself. Don't have it be 5 - 10 years later and you are saying to yourself I wish I would have listened. I wish you such good luck.
well its been since friday i havent talked to him or seen him i dont know how to feel or think im tryin really hard to keep it together for my kids but im so scared im gonna break my kids r askin questions n it makes it really hard my little boy is takin it really hard he loved him so much. I feel like i am goin at this all alone i have no idea how im gonna pay my bills or take care of my kids but i have promised myself that im not letting him come back. Im scared im not gonna b able to stay stong. I dont have anyone reliable enough to help me with my kids to get a second job i already work 40 +hrs a weel. If they would make my kids dad pay child support that would make it a lot easier then all i would have to do is get us through it emotionaly we all love him so much i will never find anyone as good as he was to me n my kids!!!!!!!
and again thank u all so much for ur advise n support!
and again thank u all so much for ur advise n support!
I hope you are doing OK, you sound very stressed. You need some live support where you live. Not the boyfriend or the sister or mama... They are your problem, go to a good church, regardless of your faith. Talk to the Pastor/Father (whatever) you have to get away from the problem and get plugged in to a strong network. Your son might miss him now, but he will love you for it later when he is older, being productive, living a normal life because his mom made the tough choice. Once you commit to it, it will get easier, tell the users to say on their side of town. You can do this, God Bless.. your friend, Andrew
There are so many progams that help with food and shelter and safe houses for women. It is time to admit to yourself that this bf is dangerous to you and your children. If you don't think anything else for you, think of your kids. If you don't get your **** together and stay away from him you will be the one that loses. You are on the verge of losing your children to welfare. It would only take one phone call and it can all turn on you. You may not be the user but you are allowing this to happen to your children.
I am sure you love your children and let me tell you no man is worth losing your children over. It could be a neighbor or teacher or anyone to say one word to welfare. If your bf is coming around or if cops are looking for him it takes one complaint about you and your living arrangements to get one phone call that could ruin your life and your childrens.
Wake up he is a loser and will be nothing else. He is too far gone and same goes for you mom and sister. Death is on the way to all 3 of them and from the sound of it soon. Sad to say would probably be the best thing for you and your children.
Get a life, get out of it and get as far away as you can. Get food stamps from a different low housing property away from them in another city or best another state. Start your life fresh. Give you kids a new fresh life. I don't even know how you are holding down a job with so much drama going on.
Go to a church clergy anywhere and ask for help to start new away from all this. Move move move away as far away as you can get. he is not going to stop don't let him control your life so that you can be there for you children.
Your kids could have such a brighter future and who knows one may be a doc or lawyer one day. Give those kids a chance.
I am sure you love your children and let me tell you no man is worth losing your children over. It could be a neighbor or teacher or anyone to say one word to welfare. If your bf is coming around or if cops are looking for him it takes one complaint about you and your living arrangements to get one phone call that could ruin your life and your childrens.
Wake up he is a loser and will be nothing else. He is too far gone and same goes for you mom and sister. Death is on the way to all 3 of them and from the sound of it soon. Sad to say would probably be the best thing for you and your children.
Get a life, get out of it and get as far away as you can. Get food stamps from a different low housing property away from them in another city or best another state. Start your life fresh. Give you kids a new fresh life. I don't even know how you are holding down a job with so much drama going on.
Go to a church clergy anywhere and ask for help to start new away from all this. Move move move away as far away as you can get. he is not going to stop don't let him control your life so that you can be there for you children.
Your kids could have such a brighter future and who knows one may be a doc or lawyer one day. Give those kids a chance.
well it has been since the 10 of this month and i feel like im goin crazy i feel like i am all alone and i am so lost i miss him so much i just dont understand one minute he cares the next he dont i have not let him come back and i told him he couldnt unless he was in rehab for atleast six months and was clean for at least four months after getting out it has been so hard i have no idea how im gonna make ends meet my phone,computer, and my tv has been shut off the day before my electric got shut off i found a church that helped me pay it i live in a very small town i have been everywhere looking for help we dont have many servises like that i even went to surroundin counties i was able to get food stamps which is wonderful and i have been up to the court house every time i get a chance begging them to make my kids father pay child support that worked some we have a court date november the 15 but that is nothing i can count on he is 17,000.00 behind and this will make the 3rd court date in the last 2 years and i have only got 1000.00 since then i found a job for picking and packaging walnuts its only for the month of october but he said my kids could help me i also found a job helping tearing down a old house both places said that i could do it arround my work schedule at my full time job. i only have a like 3 or 4 more years and i have my home paid off i cant loose it.
and he is not a bad person he is one of the most wonderful caring kind hearted people i have ever met in my life and i love him so much he just has a very bad drug addiction and i dont want my kids around it i have tried very hard to give my kids the life they deserve i love my kids more then anything and they are the only reason i do the things i do in life. i know they will be thankful of this when they get older and i dont ever want them to think the things he is doing is ok but it breaks my heart to see them cry for him and beg him to stop so he can come back home. and i know if he didnt have this addiction my kids would have the lives they deserve with him in it as well as me. i cant figure out why he wont just go to rehab he is sleeping in his car he has nothing to loose i even found him one that is state funded i pray everyday and night that he will just become the person i know he is and get help .
i dont have my internet so i dont know how often i will be able to get on im hopin to try and find a cheap internet company soon because it really helps me to have someone to talk to expecially all of you please will everyone pray for me and my kids to become stronger and that i find a way to make ends meet until i get my taxes then i should be able to pay up some of my bills with that and please pray for him he really needs it.
thank you all so much!
and he is not a bad person he is one of the most wonderful caring kind hearted people i have ever met in my life and i love him so much he just has a very bad drug addiction and i dont want my kids around it i have tried very hard to give my kids the life they deserve i love my kids more then anything and they are the only reason i do the things i do in life. i know they will be thankful of this when they get older and i dont ever want them to think the things he is doing is ok but it breaks my heart to see them cry for him and beg him to stop so he can come back home. and i know if he didnt have this addiction my kids would have the lives they deserve with him in it as well as me. i cant figure out why he wont just go to rehab he is sleeping in his car he has nothing to loose i even found him one that is state funded i pray everyday and night that he will just become the person i know he is and get help .
i dont have my internet so i dont know how often i will be able to get on im hopin to try and find a cheap internet company soon because it really helps me to have someone to talk to expecially all of you please will everyone pray for me and my kids to become stronger and that i find a way to make ends meet until i get my taxes then i should be able to pay up some of my bills with that and please pray for him he really needs it.
thank you all so much!
I just dont understand i feel so hurt one minute angry the next then im happy i feel like a roller coaster when will all this stop how can he say he loves us but still choose not to be with us why wont he just get help he is sleeping in his car he has no one why not choose us we love him so much!Is he seeing someone else or is it just the pills that make it so easy for him to go days without seeing us i miss him so much! I do ok when im working or keeping myself busy but the minute i go home all i think about is him wheres he at what is he doing is he with someone else is he doing a pill right now i cant sleep cause when i lay down to sleep all i think is about him. what if he dont want to get back with us thats why he dont wanna stop with the pills what if he stops with the pills am i gonna be able to put everything behind me? Gosh so many questions and i could go on and on! I hope and pray this gets better soon!
If you have never been a drug user it is hard to understand why. Drug addiction gets a hold of us and draws us in so deep and it is not that easy to stop. We go through pain, and despair daily, it has such a hold on us that it is not easy to get rid of. Getting clean is a long and difficult struggle. It takes all your inner strength to try and get clean and stay clean. It is horrible, BUT IT CAN HAPPEN! But as long as your bf is not ready to get clean there is nothing you can say or do to help.
You have searched and found a way for it to happen detox/rehab with the state. That shows how much you want it to happen.
I feel for you so much, going through this alone can't be easy. I am sure you have found yourself being stronger than you thought you could be. Being alone is not easy, it gets lonely, no one to share with and be beside you. However you are doing what you have to do for you and your children and in the long run you will know you made that right choice. Right now all you can do is work on making a better life for you and your children. Try to find some happiness and then that happiness will rub off on your children. You now have all the time that is spared to be with your children, helping with homework or just talking as friends. You have more than you think in them.
I would love to make your misery go away and for your life to grow and flourish. But you are the only one who can do this for yourself. Right now you are doing what you have to do without your bf around and if he keeps refusing help stick to your guns. One day hopefully he will come around and see your side of the story.
I wish you lots of luck and will be praying for you.
You have searched and found a way for it to happen detox/rehab with the state. That shows how much you want it to happen.
I feel for you so much, going through this alone can't be easy. I am sure you have found yourself being stronger than you thought you could be. Being alone is not easy, it gets lonely, no one to share with and be beside you. However you are doing what you have to do for you and your children and in the long run you will know you made that right choice. Right now all you can do is work on making a better life for you and your children. Try to find some happiness and then that happiness will rub off on your children. You now have all the time that is spared to be with your children, helping with homework or just talking as friends. You have more than you think in them.
I would love to make your misery go away and for your life to grow and flourish. But you are the only one who can do this for yourself. Right now you are doing what you have to do without your bf around and if he keeps refusing help stick to your guns. One day hopefully he will come around and see your side of the story.
I wish you lots of luck and will be praying for you.
well he still hasnt gone to rehab and i am still without him i just wish this would start getting easier i miss him so much. I still have not had any luck with help payin my bills my sister said she would help me as long as she could.I will keep prayin that he gets help. Thanks for your advise janet19.
I talked to him late last night and he said he had been asleep because he felt like crap that he hadnt done a perc all day just 3 of his med and he was gonna get ready to go back to sleep so he didnt get one i was so happy and then not even 10 min later i got a phone call and it was him he said he was going to jail and needed 400.00 for a old warrent to get out would i please call my brother n law and see if he will get him out i was so hurt and angry i thought for one you lied to me because he said he was going back to sleep and he got pulled over coming out of a drug dealers road and for another i have been having to get money from my sister and brother n law to pay my bills because of him how could he even ask me to do something like that!!! But i feel so bad for him being in there my sister said that might be the best thing for him but our jail is bad here you can get just as much in there as on the streets or maybe it would be. And why did he lie to me he has been being honest with me since we split up??? I wish this would all just go away! I try really hard to just focus on me and my kids but its so hard when stuff like this happens.
I understand how hard it is when you love someone - it can be all-consuming when things like this are going on. It makes it hard to take care of our children and our self. I know you love him but you might have to consider just leaving him where he is and take the advice given earlier. You just cannot save him - your best chance of saving him is leaving him locked up rather than bailing him out. I know how easy it is for me to say that while you are the one who is hurting, but it will get easier every day. Perhaps you could meet some new people...clean people...and start focusing on you and your children. It is so hard...so I feel for you dear.
It is so very hard it was not this painful when my ex husband whom i was from the time i was 13 till almost 6 yrs ago and he is the father of my 3 kids. My heart hurts so bad not just because of what im going through but my kids loved him so much. It breaks my heart so much when they start talking bout memories they had with him just last night on my way home my little boy said mom i miss him so bad i said i know bub hopefully he will get help n come home soon (i havent told them he is n jail) then he went on to tell me that a certain place on our road, he showed me exactly where it was, that it had been rainin and he was lookin out the window and my bf went through a puddle n the water come up n got him wet and he said you got me wet then my bf said watch out here comes another one and he had a bottle of water n drinched him with it. My little boy laughed so hard n said mom i want him to come back. All i could do is cry! And its everyday that my kids talk about little memories like that it hurts me so bad.
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