I dont really want to do this

[sosad5306]

Sorry, can't go get anything b/c I am on lockdown, my parents ambushed me yesterday and listed to old voice mails on my phone that were saved from my dealer.  Talking about the "red liquid" aka methadone and so on...then they checked this site b/c it was just minimized on my comp screen and called me a "little *****", when what I really need is tough LOVE not hate.  I wish someone know that the way to get thru to an addict is thru compassion not hate.  Now I just want to break free and get drugs and ruin all 3 days of c/t I am such a weak excuse for a person.. Look at lizzie lou and peete and oxysbliss and they are all clean but I can't seem to kick it.  No worries, I will be clean.  My parents hid all of the phones, including my cell from me and deleted all of my dealers' numbers so now I am ******.  Oh well.  No, not oh well......oh ****

[lil_rab2005]

I think that it would've been easier maybe for me if someone did lock me down.  Be glad they care enough.  Don't be too upset with your parents about the name callin'.  That was a bit harsh but they don't understand why this has happened to their daughter.  I think with a little time they'll calm down and help you through this.  Thank god right now you can't get out huh?  You'll be okay just go to a happy place k?  Or try to.  You have tv or a book or even painting.  I love painting and listening to music.  You can do it girlie!!!  I know you can.  Anyone that can go through the first 3 days without crumbling can do it the rest of the way!!!  I'm here for ya!!! God bless.  Luvs ya, Lil.

[sosad5306]

Thank you for being here!!!!!!!!!!
How do you feel mentally,,,,,how did you overcome the first few days?  Please tell me more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[thelida]

I hear you about compassion being the way.  This site has been so helpful to me because I have NO ONE to talk to about this.  I can't talk to my mom (who I usually share much with) because I don't think she would understand & just label my b/f a druggie that's draggin her daughter down.  Even if I tried explaining it all to her...why he started (ever been stabbed in the stomach?  It's gotta hurt alot right...) but she won't buy it.  I guess that's the way parents are.  When it really comes down to it, it's hard for them to see the whole picture.
It's so hard for people to understand what my b/f or you, or others here are going through.  I'm trying my best.. but I know I don't totally understand.  I gotta say though, talking to people here has helped me a lot to understand what my b/f is going through a bit more.

[Marce4]

I'm sorry if you  are not being supported the way you need to be but they don't really understand what we are going through!  I am here for you and please don't give up. You will feel better! Please read my  post below! My heart aches for you because I know how  hopeless it feels...it is still pretty early in your recovery, this awful feeling will subside. Gets a little better everyday!

Please hang in there! You are a lot stronger than you are giving yourself credit for. If you get a chance go back in the archives and find old posts of some of us here. We all sounded desparate and felt as low as we 've ever been!
My prayers are with you!
Marcie

[lil_rab2005]

The first 2 days were shear hell as was yours... but day 3 was a slight bit better.  Then I went to the beach on the 4th to get away from everything.  And man, for the first time that mornin' with the sun in my eyes and the waves crashin the shore and the wind on my face I said to myself "wow, this is what it's like to enjoy life without them?"  And I loved it!!!  Then day 5 I went fishin to get outta the house and stay busy and I was sittin there with the sun in my face and again sat there and said to myself "wow, this is fuckin awesome!!!"  then the 6th 7th and 8th day I was kindof trapped in the house cause hubby was at work.  Alot of anxiety.  When you feel that feelin', go out!!!  Do something else.  Home always makes me worse when I feel like that.  When I go outside, I feel way better.  Today is the best yet for me DAY 10 YAYYYYY... if I can do it, I know you can!!! I'm sooo proud of you!!!

Luvs ya girlie, Lil.

[demon child]

u know  im 24 my parents are iv heroin addicts living the life i left behind homeless with my dope feen brother in nyc with 2 dogs.i come from a f***** up family.there is 1 person in this world who truly cares for me.if he didnt let me back (i messed up BIG) id still be on the streets of nyc myself.he isnt an easy man to live with pushes hard but if i didnt have his tuff love????

[sosad5306]

I don't even feel like I deserve your support...but I NEED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Thank you so much.  
Marcie, I am gonna go back and read some posts and then take a nap my ******* parents said no more drinking....whatever

[lil_rab2005]

Sweetie... you're doing awesome.  Stop beating yourself up.  You are human, as we all are.  Human makes mistakes because of the feelings we have.  We have to learn how to control them.  I'm sooo proud of you.  You are doing awesome girlie!!!  Yes, stop the drinkin'.  You wanna remember the hell you went through to quit these things or you'll do it all over again.  And even if you do, start over again.  No big deal, but you definitely wanna remember the hell you're goin' through so you'll think twice.  Luvs ya, Lil.

[thelida]

you may not feel like you deserve support here, but you do! We all deserve support no matter what we are going through, even if it only comes from the internet.  The net is full with A LOT of **** and misleading info..but it's also filled with a lot of support, and it's your's for the taking!  Don't feel bad.