I feel so stuck,,,

Hi Everyone,
  For the past week I've been on a binge with oc's again after only being clean for 6 day's or so. I feel so stuck in this cycle, I don't know what to do. I read post's on this forum everyday and everyone seem's so much stronger then me. I'm having a really hard time getting them out of my life. It's not so much the physical w/d's that get me it's the anxiety/depression. For some reason, I think that MAYBE I'm having some bad side effects from the Paxil that I take. I've done oc's for about a year or so but I feel like the anxiety/depression started just a few months ago. Maybe it's the paxil right? I'm going to start to ween of today, I only take 20mg so I'll just start today with 10mg and then stop. Has anyone ever tried magnesium(sp?) supplements for anxiety? I'm desperate. I have two young children, 16months and 6yrs old, who need me to be in tip top shape. I also live with my in-laws right now which makes everything that much harder. Sorry to blab on and on, I just feel so stuck.......

[Mariyah2]

Hi,

I know how you feel...I have been withdrawing for 5 days and I just called my doctor for some vicas. I just can't take it anymore. I am in so much pain and I have therapy. I think will be very strict with this and will not binge. I feel like a total failure now, I just can't help it. My body is so craving this evil drug and it has its claws, in me big time. I feel embarressed because so many great people here were rooting for me. I will root for you and don't feel alone.

Warm wishes,
Mariyah

[grace03]

The good part is after being clean for 6 days your tolerance level should be down.  I feel like the oxy's ruled my life. Whenever I left the house I would check my purse over and over to make sure that bottle was in there.  OMG you should have seen me going to Europe for 10 days.  Scared I would have them taken from me at customs, how would I survive 10 days in a country with no meds, I had a copy of the script, made sure just enough meds to cover my stay so I didn't make them take a second look, holding my meds in a travel purse across my neck under my sweatshirt. Paranoid much?  You lapsed, it happens to the best of us.  What are you going to do now that you did it?  Your gonna tell yourself "I am strong. I am an amazing mom, my kids deserve to know the real me and most important, you gonna keep posting here and keep an accountability going"

[oxymom]

thanks, it really helps knowing that people here are going through the same things as me.Isn't it funny how even if you feel the littlest bit of good, something comes along to take it away and make you want to go get a pill. Lets see, I'm on day 2, Im negative $320.00 in my bank account, youngest is cutting teeth left and right, so he's not the happiest right now, and my 6 year old can not seem to shake her sore throat. This is why I did pills in the first place, it just made it easier to deal with life's frustrations.........
Has anyone heard of taking 5-htp and magnesium????? does it really help and can i take it whil I wean off of Paxil?

[amythist2779]

Before I was put on prescription meds for anxiety someone recommended valerian root, or valerian extract. It is an herb that can be found at most drug stores, or even the larger grocery stores that have pharmacies in them. I think they cost about 6 or 7 bucks a bottle.

They say on the bottle that they cause drowsiness, but they never did for me. What they did though was calm me down. I did not feel like I was being held tight in a gigantic bear hug where I could not breath. They made me feel a little more at ease and mellowed me out. I could still function on them while taking them around my children. I have a 11 yr old and a 6 yr old.

Now I know I read a few posts over the weekend that some people on here were using it to get some sleep, but perhaps they were taking more than just 1 or 2 at a time? I dont know for sure. I just know that when I would start to feel panicky, or anxious my heart rate would jump a thousand beats and I would get kinda shaky and really cranky. I would snap at the kids for no reason and I hate doing that, so I decided to give the valerian root a try. I took no more than 2 at a time and like I said earlier, it didnt make me sleepy, but mellow. Oh I should warn you of the smell. These are the nastiest smelling pills I have ever come into contact with. I was unaware of the smell when I purchased them, and about gagged when I opened that bottle. So just as a precaution for you, dont stick your nose too close to the bottle.

Well after awhile my anxiety got the best of me and I had to be put on prescription meds, xanax to be truthful. Now those knock me right out, no doubt about it. I am prescribed .5mg 3 times a day, but I tried that at first, not knowing what it would do to me. Needless to say, I usually just take one at bed time, and I only take one during the day if I am having an actual panic or anxiety attack.

Hope this helps some. Take care and good luck!
Aurora

[allshookup]

I have been hearing lately on the news that paxil is coming under fire for having some bad side effects. I have a friend whose husband takes paxil and if he runs out and has to go a couple 2 or 3 days without it he gets so depressed its scarey. So I would definitely wean off them. Maybe your doctor could recommend something else. I went to WeBMD and read that paxil can intensify anxiety and panic attacks until it gets into your system. Just a thought. Maybe it more the paxil than the withdrawals..I mean it for sure the w/d's but paxil could be exabberating the w/d anxiety and panic attacks. Hope that made sense to you. My hands are shaking so bad I can hardly type.lol!