I messed up badly...oh god

[cedahlia]

I'm on day 4 and today I flushed all my pils  except for one quarter of a pill. While getting ready for the dinner party, I started to have a panic attack and I took the pill. Now  I can't stop crying because I can't believe I did that. How far back will this set me? I can't believe I was so stupid. All this hard work and pain and i just ****** up. What do I do guys? Oh my god,,,,

[NautyOne]

it won't hurt as long as you don't get it in your mind that you can take a quarter every once in a while. 1/4 can lead you right back where you started.  Glad you flushed the rest.  Please be careful.

Nauty...........

[FAITHFUL74]

Hey... Dont let 1 1/4 of a pill set you back girl. Dry your eyes and forget that you even took it, move past it and look forward. You cant drive forward looking into the rear view mirror...can you? Be positive you will be fine!!!

[girlybuff]

There is no need to beat yourself up about it.  It's over, move forward.

I would like to clear something up though and I'm sure it will be a source of debate.  

You're either using or you're not.  There is no black or wihte there.  Relapse is NOT neceassarily a part of recovery.  Getting sober is part of recovery.
Some of you are saying it like, yeah you get sober, you relapse you get sober again.
No, it doesn't work that way.  Relapse doesn't HAVE to be a part of your journey to recovery.  
If you're in recovery or recoverd (when the obsession to us has been lifted), then you're not relapsing.

[toxictome]

ha..that's what I always used to say...i have 17 yrs.  sobriety + recovery (alcohol) and then started on the vics @about 15 1/2 yrs. I could never understand why people relapsed. I thought I was working a good program..and I would never drink again, still haven't , because I knew what alcohol did to me, but i never had a problem w/ pills and it got away from me. it is very baffling to me...well ,if I think about it, they say don't pick up ANY mood altering substance, ...well, now I'm an alcoholic and an addict. Can I still say I'm sober because I haven't drank.....

this will probably draw some debate...but i guess I'm ready to hear it.....

[Greatgreebo]

don't sweat the small stuff...you're an addict in recovery, not God. You will make mistakes and this one won't set you back.
Try not to puke on the priminister of japan.
Greebs

[girlybuff]

The same thing (pretty much) happened to me.  I became addicted to pills (after some medical issues) whilst in sobriety.  I'll have 6 years in August and have always been a very active member of AA.
I choose to continue to use my original sober date but it's only because I never hid the fact that I was taking the pills or the reasons why.  
It's a great debate though....
My sponsor knew everything.  My usage (of pills) was quite short but intense and when I realized it had gotten away from me, to use your words, I did something about it.
Due ot my condition(s), I do still have to take them from time to time but I never allow myself to take more than I am supposed to and I have someone dish them out for me.