I need help

[Cdaisydoo]

Hello. I have no idea how to even put all of this into words that make sense.

I suppose I should start at the start. Really I'm just delaying admitting I have a problem but I do. I have never done anything like this before. It's not me. I've never reached out to anyone like that. I do feel ashamed of myself. I'm trying not to have a pity party.

I'm addicted to codeine. I have been for quite some time. The thing is, I'm only 23 and I feel like my life is over. I used to be a fully functioning codeine abuser. Around four years ago I broke a bone in my back.. My sacrum. I recovered very well! Some pain now and then. I was prescribed a concoction of 'wonderful' things. Including codeine. I love how it makes me feel. That warm everything is perfect feeling. I had a great life, always busy. I realised I had been abusing them for that special feeling. I was with friends, I had took too much and I vomited. They didn't even have a clue. I realised then that that was it. Time to quit. And I did. Cold turkey, sorted myself out.


So now, recently. I really don't have much going for me. I mean, I have a wonderful family and that should be enough I know. I however am stuck in a rut. I just can't believe it's got to this. I stumbled across codeine linctus around a year ago and from then I have been hooked again. It's so embarrassing. I have been being treated for depression and I stopped going to the doctor. I do feel slightly worthless. Even writing this, I'm trying to tell myself I'm worth more than this. I don't go out. I hardly ever leave my house. I can't go a day without codeine because I feel at the minute it's the only thing I have to look forward to. I know it's pathetic. I know I have an amazing family. I sound so selfish and ungrateful. I don't know what to do about it. Perhaps one of you could maybe help?

Thanks for taking the time to read this!

[Cdaisydoo]

Hey guys thanks krissy. How're you doing? I've told my family. They've been so great!

[Krissy_123]

Hey sweets. This is where the mental part can kick in hard. Have you thought about NA/AA? I still have cravings after 5 months. I get my butt into a meeting. If that's not possible I go for a walk with my kids/dog. Interact with others. Wheather on here or on the phone in person,until it's passed. So proud of you for still hangin in there!! Woohoo

[NeverAgain127]

Keep moving.  Just do what is in front of you, and remember that busy hands are your friend.

You can do this.  The road on opiates ALWAYS goes nowhere good.

[Cdaisydoo]

Oh gaaaaahd I'm struggling this evening. Major cravings. That I obviously don't want to satisfy with food. Hard hard hard

[Cdaisydoo]

I too thought I could get by thinking I had a stash. The next big step for me is contacting my doctor on Monday and permanently cancelling my script and stop purchasing codeine online. The thought fills me with fear

[Krissy_123]

Daisy,so happy you're feeling ok today!!!