Aa
I really need help
the depression is really getting to me. this has been my fear all along as i have been diagnosed with having major depressive disorder. i went through the physical detox--the panic attacks and now the depression is setting in. i'm so depressed that i feel immobilized...i can't do even the simplest tasks, and i haven't been able to pay my bills! i have the money but i feel so overwhelmed ALL THE TIME! i do see a counselor and he says this is part of the process, is it really? or is it my mental illness? please help me--
i agree with everything you said. i am 24 days clean and i guess one of the biggest challenges have been to feel comfortable in my own skin! btw...you can reach out to me--i am also 44 and i've been dealing with these pills for about 8 yrs. now and enough is enough, ya know? are you clean? are you struggling? what's your story? i know God has a plan for you all you need to do is ask and you shall receive...talk to me Lisa
I know the exact shame you describing Lisa. I have too felt tremendous shame, embarrassment, guilt and self loathing. I have been addicted to one thing or another since I was 12. I'm going to be 44 this year. The pills don't force us to take them. We take them because we feel this intense need to disconnect from ourselves. I will never stop my addictions unless I can truly be with myself and reach out. My excuse has always been, life is boring without drugs. Well that is the addiction talking. I'm scared because I don't want to overdose and die. That is not how I want to leave this world. Sorry for going on about myself. I hope this helps and we all have eachother.
Lisa
Lisa
thanks for making me laugh! most importantly thank you for showing me how silly and stupid i'm sounding in regards to AA or NA!
thank you laurel--you are so right about that. when i first got there they could clearly see i was in crisis and a sweet Nun gave me some Holy Water and Blessed me. amazing how much better i felt. sometimes i feel like these pills are the devil himself--i know at my worst i sometimes acted possessed! lol..
it felt great being on the beautiful grounds, i actually felt safe, safer than i've felt in a long time. God is Good!
now it's my turn to help myself. i have looked up meetings in my area but i'm still too nervous. i don't know why? i cannot understand what's holding me back, shame maybe? i've become so ashamed of who and what i've become. my mother is a severe alcoholic and i've had to distance myself from her and i've literally spent my whole life not to become like her--well the irony is i have become like her except with pills.
growing up i was so ashamed of her behaviour, the whole town knew her and my step-father because they were the town drunks. i feel awful even saying that but it's the truth. so i guess i've become conditioned to the sense of shame or even moral failing of addiction. my addictionologist tells me i MUST NOT feel this way because it isn't a character flaw, it's a disease. i guess i've got a lot of work to do.
it felt great being on the beautiful grounds, i actually felt safe, safer than i've felt in a long time. God is Good!
now it's my turn to help myself. i have looked up meetings in my area but i'm still too nervous. i don't know why? i cannot understand what's holding me back, shame maybe? i've become so ashamed of who and what i've become. my mother is a severe alcoholic and i've had to distance myself from her and i've literally spent my whole life not to become like her--well the irony is i have become like her except with pills.
growing up i was so ashamed of her behaviour, the whole town knew her and my step-father because they were the town drunks. i feel awful even saying that but it's the truth. so i guess i've become conditioned to the sense of shame or even moral failing of addiction. my addictionologist tells me i MUST NOT feel this way because it isn't a character flaw, it's a disease. i guess i've got a lot of work to do.
ive been in AA for years, and everyone ive talked to (hundreds of people) have had the same feeling you have about going. Everyone is very hesitant and afraid to reach out.
the longer your in there and meet people the more you will see you are not alone and the others feel or did feel the same way.
its very common and women that have been in there awhile and been sober awhile should offer you their phone numbers.
Go for it! you deserve to be happy. Anyways, what's the worst that can happen, theyre not gonna eat you.
God Bless
the longer your in there and meet people the more you will see you are not alone and the others feel or did feel the same way.
its very common and women that have been in there awhile and been sober awhile should offer you their phone numbers.
Go for it! you deserve to be happy. Anyways, what's the worst that can happen, theyre not gonna eat you.
God Bless
i love the franciscan order, they are so humble and kind to all the creatures in the earth...people and animals.. Yes, you are not alone, lady
thank you all for responding to me, it really helps me...now to answer some of the questions...
i was diagnosed back in 04 with major depression and quite frankly, it's what kept me in active addiction for so long. i am being treated for it--quite aggressively i might add so there really isn't much more the doctors can do in regards to that. i believe that the lack of opiates is contributing more to my feelings of despair...you have all confirmed that for me. i just needed to hear from others who went throught this that it is indeed temporary. it helps. i just have to push myself--which by the way isn't easy for me because i would prefer to be alone...not good!
i do see a counselor who specializes in addiction and he wants me to go to meetings, and while i know this is best, i'm struggling to reach out. i have had depression since i was a child and with that came an element of social anxiety so it's been very hard!
yesterday, after i posted, i felt a very strong desire to see a Priest--so i drove about 40 min. to a Church that i went to when i was younger. the Priest spent some time with me, he Prayed with me and he also Blessed my Crucifix and then
i went to this place in NY (where i live) called Graymoor. it's a Seminary school, however, it also has an infirmy and rehab on the grounds. there i met with a Fransican Monk who also Blessed me. when i first walked in the first thing i saw was the Serenity Prayer on the wall--it gives me chills--i now truly believe that i'm not alone.
i have no desire for pills or drink, i have a strong desire to be normal and i know i need to attend some meetings and reach out to others so this is what i'll be working on.
thank you all my friends for reaching out to me--it means the world. God Bless. Lisa
i was diagnosed back in 04 with major depression and quite frankly, it's what kept me in active addiction for so long. i am being treated for it--quite aggressively i might add so there really isn't much more the doctors can do in regards to that. i believe that the lack of opiates is contributing more to my feelings of despair...you have all confirmed that for me. i just needed to hear from others who went throught this that it is indeed temporary. it helps. i just have to push myself--which by the way isn't easy for me because i would prefer to be alone...not good!
i do see a counselor who specializes in addiction and he wants me to go to meetings, and while i know this is best, i'm struggling to reach out. i have had depression since i was a child and with that came an element of social anxiety so it's been very hard!
yesterday, after i posted, i felt a very strong desire to see a Priest--so i drove about 40 min. to a Church that i went to when i was younger. the Priest spent some time with me, he Prayed with me and he also Blessed my Crucifix and then
i went to this place in NY (where i live) called Graymoor. it's a Seminary school, however, it also has an infirmy and rehab on the grounds. there i met with a Fransican Monk who also Blessed me. when i first walked in the first thing i saw was the Serenity Prayer on the wall--it gives me chills--i now truly believe that i'm not alone.
i have no desire for pills or drink, i have a strong desire to be normal and i know i need to attend some meetings and reach out to others so this is what i'll be working on.
thank you all my friends for reaching out to me--it means the world. God Bless. Lisa
when i started with my withdrawl from 80 milligrams of oxycodone i started the same depression and i when to the doc and they gave me adavin and it has really helped the withdrawl after 6 days of oxy i was off adavin also. still have moments but am feeling good a little more each day. keep motivated the best way you can. you can do it and i was on the oxy for 5 years
Have you tried St. John's wort? That can be huge in helping with depression (that is if you're not taking any other meds for the depression).
If not, then it might be worth a shot?
If not, then it might be worth a shot?
How long ago were you diagnosed with majoe depression disorder? Was It before you started the detox or is this something that has been there all along? I'm probably gonna catch some flack over this but someone who have been diagnosed with deep depression really benefit from something like a combination of Paxil and Wellbutrin. Maybe you could make an appointment with a phychiatrist.
If you weren't bothered with depression untin you started your detox then it might help a little but not sugar coating it, with detox comes depression. sorry, Good Luck
If you weren't bothered with depression untin you started your detox then it might help a little but not sugar coating it, with detox comes depression. sorry, Good Luck
are you being medicated for the major depressive order , ladywithtime ? As the others have said it is part of the process but to a certain extent, if we can not manage it by ourselves, we'd better ask for help... besides, aftercare could help you too
It's part of the detox & w/d's...
Unfortunately, depression comes with the territory. It'll get better, with time. Day by day, it'll improve, and one day you'll wake up and wonder what all the fuss was about.
Keep doing what you're doing, Sister.
Besides seeing a therapist/counselor, what other Aftercare are you doing? Do you go to meetings of any sort?
Unfortunately, depression comes with the territory. It'll get better, with time. Day by day, it'll improve, and one day you'll wake up and wonder what all the fuss was about.
Keep doing what you're doing, Sister.
Besides seeing a therapist/counselor, what other Aftercare are you doing? Do you go to meetings of any sort?
Hi ladywithtime.. It is part of the process.. as for you disorder I can see where it would exaggerate it :( when I went thru wd in the beginning I found I had to Force myself to move the more I moved the better I felt. Those feel good endorphins your brain puts out need a jump start to start producing on there own again and exercise walking movement help to do this. The opiate have taken over this function.. the benefits are also good for over all well being.. anxiety restlessness and may help you to sleep better. I found I could clear my mind while walking and felt more relaxed when outdoors. Change up your diet with more fruits and veggies. lately my hubby has been making smoothies and I swear I feel a difference after I drink one :) Congrats on getting clean. remember it takes time commitment and patience to get through the mental part but we do get thru ! Take care. lesa
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