Dating an ex-heroin addict

[Daisy884]

I am dating a guy who is 22 years old and has been off of drugs for 6 months now.  He is doing really good!  But the thing is...is he was really addicted to heroin and pot.  He tried a few times before to get off of these drugs but relapsed.  He has OD'd three times on heroin.  I'm scared that he will relapse again sometime in the future.  I'm just wondering if it is worth it so stick around?  I don't want it to ruin my life as well as his.  But I don't want to totally leave him either.  What are the statistics on heroin relapse?  How many people really do relapse and how many make it without doing drugs?

[mixmasta]

and this thread is mad old..........still felt good getting it off my chest

[mixmasta]

My girl left me cause of dope, and now shes pregnant with another man's child, I don't wanna die but I find myself thinking about it every time I think about her. I felt there was no reason to get clean after that, but I'm not running the streets like a moron anymore. I still use about twice a month, and that's accurate and honest. I know I'd be done with it completely if she was still mine. They say in the world of recovery that you shouldn't get clean for anybody but yourself, that it won't click until YOUR ready not someone else. I agree with that, and that's how I did it, but shortly after I realized that being clean and even successful means nothing without her. So now I use a couple times a month. I know there's plenty of fish in the sea, but I cant get her out of my head permanently. If I were you I'd go through with the break-up, but I'd stay in touch with him while he finds himself. Keep your distance, but don't forget about him. It might just click while your gone, and you might just be the only thing that KEEPS him from going back. Losing someone once is usually enough. Good luck and god bless both of you.

[j34]

Hello for me as an addict who now is in recovery, I know in my heart that the only way I could of gotten clean was single , cause as an addict I was scared to be alone, co dependent and full of fear. I tried it for a yr and stayed clean for a yr , then i got loaded again ,this time tried single, wow what a difference I learned about myself, what I like , what I dont like , who I was as a person sober.I had to fix myself with the support of other recovering addicts.
I really hurt the person who was trying to help me the first time by getting him to fill all my needs. I hope this helps you and the other person, sometimes love is letting go.....

[foodie99]

Pls tell me what has happened since 2007 with the man in your life who was addicted to Heroine and wanted to quit on his own...Was he able to go into clean life with or without counseling?  How did his recovery effect you?  Did he evr start to take pills like xanax?

[Daisy884]

I know.  Its hard 2 leave him after almost 2 yrs of helping him!  I told him he should go get some help, he told me AGAIN that he can do it by himself.  He doesn't want to have anything to do with anything about drugs, even people.  I told him that they probably will be able to help him.  I'm going to break up with him but tell him I'll still be here if he needs me or if he's getting weak....?  Thank you so much for the advice!!!  I really appreciate it.

[tztlady]

Tell him being on his "own" got him addicted and maybe he should give recovery options a try.

You can't save the world, hon.  Sometimes we lose ourselves trying to save another..............other times it may work out but its a heck of a gamble for a young girl to take.   It never worked out well for me when I was doing that stuff.......as a matter of fact, it didn't turn out well for anyone I knew who was trying to keep  people off drugs.  Some of my friends got hooked themselves doing this.    Be careful, ok?

[Daisy884]

He said that the programs won't help him, that they don't do any good for him.  I've tried to tell him, but he said he does better on his own...?

[FLaddict]

encourage him to get more help than just white knuckleling it..... that doesn't usually work for the long term.. a drug counselor.. a group.. getting involved will help him get better in the long run...  I would stick around.. its early.. just keep your eyes open.. watch for behaviors that may lead him back.. stressful situations..etc.. I do agree with Fish I wouldn't be running off to Vegas anytime soon.. but he may make it.. with more help his chance will go up.. good luck

[Daisy884]

No, he's not in a recovery program right now.  He's doing it on his own because he said that the rehab's don't help him.  I'm scared if I break up with him he will go off the deep end.  I still want to be there for him.

[tztlady]

Hi there and welcome.  Right now he needs to focus on his recovery and changing his way of thinking.  Is he in any type of recovery program?  I agree with what the others have said.

[fishmeal]

The statistics are that he will relapse.... chances are super high that you will be doing this for the rest of your life... don't take my word for it... wait 2 years before you get married or anything like that.

[Daisy884]

yes...

[lonote]

Daisey are you still here?