I want to be done with these pills!

[WannaBeFree79]

About 7 or 8 years ago I was in a car accident and went through multiple surgeries over the course of 2 years, which required a pain management doctor and the use of Vicodin for 2 years straight.  After the pain was gone I realized I really liked these little pills and couldn't imagine life without them.  Now 8 years later and a few failed attempts at staying off of them, I am ready to do this.  I have never mixed them with alcohol or anything else, I am a very "nervous" person and the thought of mixing things together scared me.  I actually always took them 4 hours apart 5/500MG just 1 at a time.  Some days I would take 4 and others 6 depending on how much of the day I was awake. These pills made me so energetic to the point where I felt like I didn't need sleep sometimes.   I did try to stop taking them last week and made it 3 days before I got my hands on 15 more.  I just took my last one.  I have a few questions.  First, how long does the mental part last, even when my body felt ok on day 3 it seemed like my brain went into overdrive thinking about those pills that day.  Second, after taking them 4 days again, am I going to withdrawal physically all over again?  What can you do to help the mental cravings?  The physical part doesn't bother me so bad, except feeling "foggy"  I almost felt like someone shut my brain off.  Then on day 3 when I could think clearly all I could think about was how much I wanted another pill.  I feel so ashamed that these little pills own me like they do.  I am a mother with 2 wonderful girls, and a husband who has stuck by be through all of this and I feel so bad for what I have put them through. I just can't believe I did this too myself, even when I was in Highschool the only drug I ever tried was marijuana. I was never interested in drugs and didn't understand why other people used them.  Now I understand how quick and unexpectedly it happens.  I have tried weaning in the past and I just dont have the power to do it, and even when I had hubby hold the pills, I would somehow always talk him into giving me just 1 more for the day.  I have to do this cold turkey and I would like to do it myself, not so much that I don't want help, but I think I want to prove to myself I can beat this on my own.  How strange does that sound I want to defeat a pill LOL  I think with the help and support of everyone here I have a chance.  We just bought a new house and will be moving in about a month, I want to be totally clean, change my life and never look back.  Sorry for rambling and thank you for reading my post.  

[WannaBeFree79]

Thank you for reading my "novel" and replying.  My hubby tries to help as much as he can but he doesn't totally understand what withdrawal consists of after the physical symptoms go away.  I have read the thomas recipe.  Like I said earlier, I am a very nervous person, I was diagnosed with panic disorder when I was 20 so that plays a big part in be being scared of everything, which in a way is a good thing, because that is what stopped me from taking more than 1 pill at a time or too close together.  Since I panic easily any med/suplement (besided vicodin) I tend to not take.  There is this awful fear I have that I will have a deadly reaction.  The only reason I took the vicodin is because they started it in the hospital and nothing happened to me so I felt safe with it.  I know it sounds crazy but I have many fears due to panic disorder.  Anyhow I am rambling again.  I am going to get a multi vitamin and the immodium, I hope those 2 things will help a bit.  The L-Torisine (SP) scares me too much.  As far as the amino acids, I know they are in some foods would that be sufficient eating foods with amino acids?

I am very intent on defeating this problem.  It is to the point that I am tired of worrying about where I am going to get my next pill.  I honestly have to say the last year or two I continued to take them more out of fear of how I will feel if I don't.  I have wanted to be clean for a long time, had a set back after my mom died.  Now things are looking up with the new house and chance to start over and I am beyond ready to beat this.  I will keep posting to hopefully keep busy.  I notice when I am bored the cravings bother me much more.  All the encouragement makes me feel so much better about the journey I am about to embark on.

Thanks again.

[pharma9]

PS..Epsom salt baths are marvelous to relax and add magnesium to the body.Also helps pain.And keep posting.

[pharma9]

You are making a good step to come here.If your mind is made up and you want to be clean more than you want the short high of the pills you can do it.On the right of this page scroll to the bottom and you will see the Thomas recipe and vitamins that you will need to arm yourself against this enemy.The tough part is 3-7 days and then it is much easier.When you have rebound pain take extra strength tylenol and ibuprofen in recommended doses till it subsides.It will become so much less that you may find you do not need pills at all for pain or only need otc pain meds.Immodium for the runs nand I always suggest b12 1000mcg,omegas,antioxidants with zinc,vitamin d1000u to build up your strength and immune system.Benadryl helps sleep.There is an otc pain reliever called percogesic that may help as well.You can add an otc muscle relaxant to help the restless legs.You have to want to not have that high and try not to even think about it because a clean life gives its own high.Good luck and congrats on your new home and new future life.

[corey411]

Hi and welcome to the forum. The mental part is the worst. To be honest it last for seveal months but gets better as time goes on. Sometimes you will have a few good days and then for no reason bad ones. I always felt worse in the morning and better as the day went on. You do need to prepare for these. Exercize helps the most, You will have to forse yourself to do it but you will see the benefit. Also the amino acids and things recommended in the Thomas Recipe will help. You brain needs this time to relearn how to produce endorphins which is what makes us feel good. Make a plan and go to NA. post here and you will get alot of support. Feel free to message me if you need to talk. You can do this and you will get your life back.