I will be detoxing from longterm suboxone use and would like to extend an invite for others to join me so that we can help support each other

[suboxoneaddict]

I am about to emabark on a detox I have planned for about a year now. I have been on suboxone now for almost three years and I am finally paying heed to the downside. First, on the good side. Suboxone has helped me to stabilize my life along with AA and therapy. I have gone to school, become a drug counselor(I graduate this friday May 9th) become involved in a loving relationship, drastically improved my relationship with my family and stopped most of the negative behaviors associated with addiction. On the flip side however, suboxone is taking it's toll on me. The last time I was free of all drugs, was July of 05' after a protracted and painful detox from suboxone and methadone, which I had been on prior to the suboxone. I want to be completely sober again. Suboxone has ruined my sleep patterns, my creativity and robbed me of much of my enthusiasm for life. Since I no longer get natural highs, except from sex, I am ready to go through the arduous and drawn out detox that is a suboxone detox. I have been through many short term detoxes using suboxone and buprenex some as early as 95-96. I would like to share what will be my final detox with this community as I am actually going through it. In fact, I would like to invite others to detox with me at the same time. I will be done with school and have finished my last internship as a drug counselor and have set aside about 3 weeks to get through the worst of it. I am planning on using benzos during the first week and would like all the feedback possible. In exchange, I have a wealth of information about so many drugs. I have lived in 5 different countries and have been in more than 25 programs. The longest I have been in recovery is 21 months(current). While I have progressed in my life on suboxone I believe I have reached the point where it's effects are more harmful than helpful. Recovery is all about self-honesty and I know that to fully spread my wings in life, I must get off the suboxone. So, my detox starts on May 26th at which time I hope to be down to 2 mgs or less. Right now I am at 5mgs and I have been as high as 32mgs daily. I found that it is so much easier to taper when you split the dose into three or four administrations. A couple of months ago I got down to about two mgs a day but when it got tough at the end I decided to put the rdetox on hold until after my semester ended. So talk to me, I am originally from the NY/NJ area but have lived in the SF/ east bay area for the last five years.

[Kander923]

I have been on a fairly low dose in comparison to many of the people on here. I too fear the withdraws I am taking about 1-1 and a half now and have been for about 6-8 months. I'm afraid to stop because I live alone and have no family to help me through it. I lied to my friends, telling them I have stopped taking everything because I'm ashamed of the addiction. I understand your fears.
I am currently on what the Dr. called "maintenance" I am taking an 8/2 and cutting it into very thin strips. She is allowing me 8 strips a month. So I make it last.
I don't know what it even feels like to be completely sober. I took Lortab and then Norco for about 15 years. My physician was terminated and I was unable to find a Dr. that would write the Norco Prescription like he did, 80 Mg per day.
I wish I had the courage to completely stop everything. The other problem I have is when I do stop, I still have the pain that I was being treated for in the first place.
Just so you all know, this has damaged my liver and will continue to until I decide it's enough. Do we decide quality of life, or life itself?

[jeanniemb]

My son has been on sub 4 1/2 years (2mg day).  Last week he stopped cold turkey not thinking the w/d would be so terrible........Yesterday his Dr. prescribed him lorazepam 1 mg every 8 hours and a blood pressure med.  
I'm fearful he will become addicted to the Loraz ........... does anyone have any knowledge, first hand experience?  Worried Mom

[Rayjaykay]

To your girlfriend , " It has nothing to do with you. Withdrawal is hell! I myself,as your bf, prefer to suffer alone, and that's what it is it is pure unadulterated suffering. It's not only extremely physically challenging, it's also mentally and emotionally painful. It has nothing to do with you. Pain is a personal experience, and some not only want , but need to be alone to get through it. I myself am detoxing , and took a hard fall last night ( I think I broke my ribs ) my bf came running to help and in my mind I wanted to say, " go, let me suffer without you seeing, there's nothing you can do " but I took his feelings into consideration,and let him watch and help , and for whatever reason it made me more aware of the pain. We are all different. Some find others being around soothing. Your bf doesn't . That's all relax. Ps..good luck to you both. This is challenging.

[melissanic]

You make  whatever decision that you feel is right for you. I have been on Suboxone for over 3 years and have just started to taper off and I am terrified. Your posts have helped me a great deal and I wish you all the luck in the world. I also feel uncomfortable telling my sponsor and people at my meetings that I am on Sub....I have overheard some say that using Sub is not being "clean". Suboxone and God have saved my life. Thank you and hope your life is blessed....

[melissanic]

I too have withdrawed from Methadone and had to be hospitalized for 45 days. I am on Suboxone now and have been for over 3 years. I feel so dumb for even starting back after going through all that but I guess that is just part of recovery. You are right on point...Methadone is the worst!!!!!!!!!!! The withdrawals are way more intense than ANYTHING ELSE and they last a VERY LONG TIME. I would never recommend Methadone to anyone but Suboxone has saved my life. I am tapering off of Sub now and I am really scared. I have detoxed on my own from taking 10 oxycontin and also 20-25 bags of black tar heroin and Methadone definitely takes the cake. What a nightmare!!!!!!!! God bless you!

[melissanic]

Hi. I am not the person you responded to but the answer to your question is....every addict is different. You were addicted to hydrocodone. Trust me when I tell you that the difference between detoxing from hydorcodone and (my drug of choice) blask tar heroin is like night and day. I am not saying that our addiction is any different but I when I was hooked on just pain pills, I could easily detox by myself. I have been on Methadone and was in the hospital for 45 days. Every single day was HELL! I have been on Suboxone for 3 years now and I am now tapering. Some people just need more time....just depends on whether or not a person is having cravings. I cannot understand why the doctor would put someone who is addicted to hydrocodone on Suboxone. The withdrawals from Suboxone are way worse than hydrocodone. I wish you much luck in your recovery and I hope that you don't take my words as a bad thing. God bless you :)