I'm nevous and afraid of what I am going thru with these withdrawals.

[cetiya]

I am getting off the Duragesic Patch, that I have been on for about 5 months. Took it off Monday morning.  My doc was great and game me a million Oxys to get off the Fentanyl.
  One of my main fears is this strange violent "twitch" , it just lasts a second, but it's scaring me, maybe I have something wrong with my brain?
  Also, I have a weird rash on my face and hand, a low grade fever and a sore throat. I did go to a walk-in clinic and they gave me a creme to put on my face and hands.

[willowgirl]

YOUR POSITIVE OUTLOOK  IS SOOO UPLIFTING.  I THINK WE GET SO CAUGHT UP IN THE BAD THAT WE FORGET THERE IS AN END SOMEWHERE IN SIGHT BUT WE DO HAVE TO SEEK IT OUT . NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE ON THIS BOARD BUT SO MANY OF THE COMMENTS ARE ABOUT HOW  NEGATIVE  THINGS ARE AND HOW HARD THIS IS, I UNDERSTAND THAT CONSIDERING WHAT WE ARE ALL GOING THROUGH. BUT TO HEAR SOMEONE TAKE A POSITIVE ATTITUDE TOWARDS RECOVERY IS ALMOST A BREATH OF FRESH AIR. I WISH , HOPE AND PRAY I CAN FEEL THE SAME SOMEDAY. I DO BELIEVE WE CAN ACHIEVE OUR GOALS.  I JUST THINK SO MANY OF US DONT KNOW HOW TO GET THERE. YOU ARE VERY INSPIRATIONAL. AND I WISH YOU ALL THE LUCK.  I HOPE YOU KEEP MOVING FORWARD AND KEEP THE DEMONS AWAY. AND AS FAR AS YOUR WORDS ABOUT THE DEVIL.  I DONT THINK I KNOW ONE ADDICT THAT HASNT DANCED OR DEALT WITH THE DEVIL, UNFORTUNATELY WE SOMETIMES DO THINGS IN OUR WEAKEST MOMENTS THAT WE REGRET. JUST REMEMBER THE DEVIL CANT GET YOU WHEN YOUR RUNNING THE OTHER WAY AND NOT SEEKING HIM OUT.  GOOD LUCK ON YOUR RECOVERY. AND KEEP UP THE POSITIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[SarpyJesse]

Positive posts and people are always the BEST way towards sobriety and/or becoming free of dependence/addiction -- That's what helped me the most!

Oh and one more thing... MY EARS ARE HURTING FROM YOU'RE YELLING YOUR POST OUT ON THE BOARD!~ Just making funny with you, Willow... I understand that some keyboards cannot type the lowercase, so I'm not going to assume that you actually MEANT to yell at us..... Hehehe

Jess

[Expillman]

I am in Hour 126 of OXYCONTIN FREEDOM.  After a busy morning and a short nap I decided to visit one of my favorite drawers of my big oak desk.  One week ago this might have read the drawer where the pills are, but they are gone now.  A few days ago this would have been unthinkable, I would have looked even more ridiculous crawling around  my house in severe drug withdrawal with one of these, but I digress.  Yes, only last Tuesday or Wednesday the prospect of doing what I have done today would be enough to make me burst into tears, but I have come a long way [baby].

I lifted the lid of my trusty humidor and selected one of my tasty Punch Rare Corojo Reds and headed outside.  I was not prepared for the absolutely exquisite rebirth of my taste buds after three years of  chemical dependency had apparently ravaged my senses.  I have never enjoyed a cigar more as I set on the patio under the azure canopy of the Cosmos and contemplated my progress, time and the universe.

Not being a dualist, it is my firm conclusion that this life is the only chance we have in this universe.  Compared to the great vastness of the cosmos, the ocean of deep time, my individual existence is a blip, a bubble in the foam on the surface of a flowing river. I am a momentary arrangement of atoms and molecules - an arrangement that lives and moves, to be sure, an arrangement that thinks, laughs, appreciates beauty, dreams, and loves - but a mere arrangement nonetheless, a transient state, an ephemeral gathering. Soon the blip will go out, the bubble will pop, the arrangement will dissolve, molecular bonds released by entropy. My consciousness will cease. But the molecules that once were me will still exist. The atoms that made up my body - iron, carbon, oxygen, and nitrogen, all the heavy elements forged in the crucibles of dying stars - will remain. Liberated from their temporary homes, they will rejoin the rest of the planet, taking new shapes, finding new arrangements, becoming part of other life. I will, in a sense, become merged with everything.

I will be the momentary sparkle of sunlight on the surface of a flowing mountain stream. I will be high in the stratosphere, near that ineffable boundary where life-giving blue fades to violet and black. I will be subducted into the planet's core and join the three hundred million-year cycles of the continental plates. I will be the intense red and yellow of a tree's leaves in autumn, the flash and swoop of a dragonfly's glittering wings, the sleek white bolt of a deer's tail, the brown feathers of a soaring hawk, the silver scales of a leaping fish. I will be in each drop of rain in a storm, each wave in the ocean, each breath of a newborn child. And billions of years from now, when our sun swells and blasts the Earth's atmosphere away, I will be there, streaming away from the charred remnant of the planet into space, to rejoin the stars that gave my atoms birth. In the fullness of time, I will become distributed throughout the entire cosmos.


Isn

[Thomas03]

that's a very lonely picture you paint of that empty drawer. Depressing. I hate drawers that don't contain Rx bottles. 'Don't believe in em.

Thomas

[Expillman]

Well, young man, tell me what you THINK, not what you BELIEVE, that is if your neurons are not to fried from abuse.  A crack across your knuckles for having the reading comprehension of a cherry clam and tact of a churlish troll.

[cetiya]

I'm so sorry about your wife. I admire your strength, that you havent given up on your desire to be sober.
I spent the morning at the ER cos my legs, arms and face all have this reddish rash on them, and my legs, from the knees down are extrememly swollen  The ER doc said I think you are having some reaction to the Oxy's and thought I should go back on the patch until I can see my pain specialist. Screw that!  Anyway he got a hold of my doc on call, who said "no way" so I'm on prednisone.
  Has anyone ever gotten a rash or swollen face or feet during wd's??
  so it's been 6 days since I had the patch.(of course I cheated, but still, at least I'm not at my doc's office begging and crying for my Fentanyl, or saying my dog ate it.)  I hope I can work this next week, I'm very spacy on these drugs, still being electrocuted on and off during the day, paranoid and anxious.  but I don't feel so alone after reading all these posts.