I'm new and terrified

Question

Hi everyone, I am a 52 yr old female and I'm new to this site. I believe I have an addiction to pain pills, specifically oxycodone 10/325 (or hydrocodone) . I have been on these for over 2 years now, started out slow of course. I had hadshingles and was given the hydrocodone. I liked how they helped the pain and made me feel better. My husband had had a stroke about a year previous to this and our life had changed drastically. There was so much stress at that time, trying to work, take care of him (he's doing well in a wheelchair but will never work again) Anyway, I was given the hydrocodone again later for a kidney stone, then once again for an intestinal blockage surgery. All within a year. Needless to say, I became dependent on the pain killers and since the surgery I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia too. I'm afraid I'm as much dependent on the mood lifting aspects of these drugs as the pain relief. I feel so wretched and worthless. However, I do want to get off of them and be a better person. I'll deal with the pain in other ways and am actively pursuing that now. I began treatment at a Fibromyalgia ctr with iv's and alternative treatments (natural) However, I'm still taking 4 10/325 oxycodone a day and I feel terrified when I'm almost out of them. I go to a pain center and they give me a month's supply at a time. I'm at the point when my body starts wanting to take the pill after about 4 hours, sometimes sooner. Is this normal or am I hopelessly crazy addicted. Before this, I wouldn't even take tylenol for a headache and I don't drink alcohol or smoke. I have never tried any kind of drugs and I always tried to do the right, good thing. This is my dark secret and I'm horribly ashamed and scared,. Very few of my family know. I am determined to stop. I was planning on doing the weaning, does it help to change to hydrocodone (sm dosage) to wean down. I've heard it's not as strong as oxycodone (abt 1/2 the strength) Does anyone know or have any suggestions? Please. Thank you for reading. :)

Mimaw5 · Answer

Can someone tell me what their wd symptoms are? When I wake up in the morning (if I manage to sleep more than 5 hours) I feel wretched, I start sneezing and I can barely move for aching all over. My sinuses feel like they're burning. I can't get to my pills fast enough it seems like. I also have to eat something with them as they don't seem to work quick enough without food. BTW, I'm taking Percocet 10/325g 4xday. After reading thru the forum, I know that's not as much as alot of people are on. I had gastric bypass surgery over 6 years ago and I was doing fantastic at keeping my weight normal, until I started on the pain pills, now I've gained almost half of it back. I am totally miserable with myself, I don't want to be on these pills. I'm scared to stop taking them. I don't know how I'm going to deal with life without them, I guess. My husband is totally dependent on me for his care (stroke by chiropractor adjustment 3 yrs ago)  and I am terrified of the future. 
Just wanted to say something. Thanks for listening (reading) lol

Mimaw5 · Answer

Thank you for your advice, I have read and reread every one of them and I am taking them to heart. I know it would probably be best to just stop, but I'm terrified of that. I weaned myself down before to 1/2 tablet a day. I could kick myself for not stopping then, but honestly the pain along with the mood enhancers was too strong a draw I guess. No excuses really.

gnarly_1 · Answer

HI I agree with Vicki ....you may find tapering a lot harder then you think  your habit is not way out of control yet but its deffenetly a habit try talking to your doctor and see if he can put you on the 5/500s this will make it ez to taper down if all else fails you can just jump C/T and have the whole thing over with in about a week ....tapering can take a mo or longer and drawas out the misery your not comfortable tapering off narcotics your sorta in a mild constant form of withdrawal it will effect your mood and depression your right about it being time to stop any time it becomes a mental crutch you have crossed the border into addiction ...no where on the bottle dose it say ""take to improve mood'' we can help you here take some time and read the other posts learn all you can and post often with questions try to stick to the same post post all you like here it makes it difficult for us if you start a bunch of posts wish you luck dont be ashamed to talk to your doctor he already knows your dependent on these meds and should be willing to help get you off them if that is your desire good luck and God bless......Gnarly

dominosarah · Answer

I agree with Vicki, talk with your doctor about this.  They will be able to help you and tapering will ease the wd's.  Please try and not feel ashamed.  I know that is easier said than done.  This sort of thing catches up to us before we know what hit us.  You can get your life back.  Keep posting and talking with us.  We are here to support you........sara

grimhz · Answer

i think that it is a bad idea to switch to anything milder, studies have shown that the best possible way to stop is to just to stop, although it might be the hardest and you will struggle a certain amount of time and it will probably be the worse time of you life, however it will get better, trust me i know from experience, and i've tried all possible ways to quit using and this one is the only one that has worked.

Mimaw5 · Answer

I think I'm going to ask  my doctor for the taper plan. Too nervous to just stop. I hear so many horror stories about withdrawal. Thank you for your response.

vicki595 · Answer

Hi-  Listen, you're still a good person and an honest person!  You could taper down over time if you have enough control or you can just stop abruptly.  I really don't think switching to hydrocodone will make a difference.

You should get with your doctor and ask for a taper plan or support if you just want to stop. It's a good idea anyway because you can then truly evaluate the amount of pain you're in.  What do you think?