Day 8...emotional mess

[Butterfly1503]

Today, I felt a little crummy:/ I've been feeling pretty good minus anxiety attacks and demonic cravings for loratab. My legs felt weak, but maybe I've over exercised this week. It was just a tough day. Emotions ran wild. I start counseling next week, so I hope that's a step in the right direction for after care. I cried on the phone to my hubby today. I was honest.. I told him I miss my pills. I miss how they helped me cope. I also love being sober more. I love looking at my children and not feeling guilt because we are truly laughing about something and its not because mommy feels good because she's full of tabs. It's because something was really funny and the laughter is real. Just know I want my sobriety, but I'm a recovering addict, and I'd be lying if I said that there are days that I want a freaking pill so bad I can taste it!! However, I'm not going to cave.. My kids, my hubby, and I deserve more than that!

[BarbRTR]

Isn't that the most amazing feeling? Laughing sober? Having my emotions return ( I did not even realize while using they were numb. Gone) I even loved crying. But soon now you'll get stable. You'll have many, many times of heart warming laughter with your kids, and less crying spells. Promise!

But right now, embrace your emotions. It is proof you are healing!!

[VICourageous]

Congratulations on your days so far..
I want to say welcome to feeling your real feeling again. This is all part of the process. As the Brain continues to balance back from Substances abuse you will feel these emotions come and go. Try to stay in-tune with yourself and you will know when this is all part of recovery. I like to study all about the map of the brain and what Substances hit what areas..I have put a few in my Journal so far. Nature of Addiction and Addiction and the Pleasure Pathway, beyond will power. I also found some info from a Addiction specialist that talked about the cycle..Just like the cycle when we loose a love one. When we give up our DOC we seem to go through the same cycle. I have almost a year in and I found this ALL to be so true. Although I am still a babe in the woods, I do find the cravings getting less but that is also because I am aware of what might cause triggers to use. I do not think I will ever be safe and that is why we have to keep our eyes on the Ball everyday. I am glad you are going to get some counseling because this will help you learn some tools toward your recovery..Try AA/NA too..We need face to face support as well..Best to You!
Bless

[Bubbleguppie100]

Aww congrats to being 8 days sober! We are so prod of you. You can do it! You can also do it for ur kids and husband! You're taking ur life back, and that my friend, is a beautiful thing!

[SmilingBright]

Wow!!  First off congrats on day 8!!!!!!  I just wanted to tell you thanks for posting!!!  It reminds me why I want to get clean and stay clean.  To have true happiness and laugh.   I know it's hard sweetie.  But you are doing this!!!   Keep going.   I will be jumping from my taper soon!!!  Keep those days coming. I know it will get better soon!!!!