Yo mentallyu know....I have a few really close friends that are still in their addiction.....but I have always wondered, how in the heck do they continue to use, especially when I know the effect physically & be in mentally....& the effect when you run out. I dont understand how in the world they can bare to be in the condition. I do know that they spend tons of money to keep buying them. I also know that they are depressed, and suffer the symptoms as well. See with me....I literally cannot stand what the pills life does to me, even while using. My soul forces me to stop. It is such a vicious cycle. These people I know.....have never even considered trying to stop....how can they live with themselves in that condition. I keep them in prayer. Another thing I was thinking about is Im only 11 days clean from using, am I expecting too much with where Im at withdrawing? Its just that I cant wait to get better, I been feeling like, my brain should be in better shape, Maybe ill research a few things about this process. I hate that I have to go thru this...but Im glad I quit. I know I cant live that life. Guess Im just bored, Im just rattling on. I hate that Im in this condition, just be super happy when I feel completely better. Physically my body is still very beat, Im tired. and anytime I sit for a while, when I go to get up...my bottom, and legs, and back hurt. I feel really heavy, Im always tired. Its still hard to gather up energy to even take hot baths, to even get up, to even get dressed, I still dont feel like cleaning, or cooking. I guess Im being to hard on myself, expecting too much too soon huh?