Aa
Jealousy
My mind has been going a thousand miles a minute lately. I find myself thinking and thinking, constantly. WHen I walk down the street, I take notice to all the people. I often wonder if any of them could possibly be an addict. I tend to get jealous, and think to myself, they have no clue how lucky they are to not have to deal with this life, and addiction and withdrawal and dissapoinment in oneself. I guess is someone were to look at me, they would never know I was an addict. So I always think there are way more addicts out there then I think.
Not trying to bore anyone, just wanted to vent.
Hope you are all well...
Lisa
Not trying to bore anyone, just wanted to vent.
Hope you are all well...
Lisa
I do the same thing. I'll be having my morning coffee watching my favorite Good Day La morning show and just want to strangle jillian Reynolds and the rest of them thinking why cant i be happy like that......its very bizarre to me. I do the same when I am out in the world when I see all these happy people wondering which one of them suffers like I do.....thank god.......no i feel so much better. thanks for posting that. You made my day.....week....month.
Nauty..................
Nauty..................
ive often said aloud to bf while sober and driving around town, I wonder how many ppl in these cars around us are on something. I heard the statistics a few years ago that 1 in four drivers is on "something". Im sure that numbers gone up since then. I dont mean necessarily drunk, or illgal drugs which impair them to drive but you get my drift....
Ive also been jealous of people who can lead a life without the monkey on their backs....
Ive also been jealous of people who can lead a life without the monkey on their backs....
LOL, I do the same thing. When I watch TV and see singers or movie stars, I think to myself "Man, they are so lucky that they can get up and dance like that, or go to a movie set and work for 16-20 hours staright and not need to pop 10 pills before they even get out of bed". Then I try and pinpoint who I think is on drugs. I try and look into actors eyes and see if they have pinpoint pupils..lol. I guess I just think too much....lol..
Hope you are well my dear...
Lisa
Hope you are well my dear...
Lisa
I feel exactly the same way!! I felt that way before when I was clean too. My mind is thinking a lot (it was numb for so long it, I guess it's trying to make up for lost time, hahaa). Even when I watch TV I think "they are lucky they are not addicts", or how do they do that without being on something. You are so not alone with this, I'm glad you brought it up.
People are different about the depression. For me, it lifted after a week or so. For others, it's long and pronounced. I'd suggest, if the funk doesn't clear soon, going to see your doc about an antidepressant med.
I hope this is just the withdrawals talking, but I feel like the lonliest person in the world. I always felt I led a charmed life: I was born to parents who were entertainers: my Dad was a jazz musician, my mom a dancer/singer. I was born in Europe and have travelled most of my life. I now life on the Central Coast of California, in a beautiful city.
My childhood was far from perfect- parents divorced when I was young, and I was never real close to my Mom, but I've done real well for myself-- have a great career, my own home, and an awesome dog. I've always been a bit of a loner, and even though I always had relationships, I never got married or wanted kids.
Now, after two and half weeks of Vicodin w/d, I am so deeply sad. I am painfully envious of families, especially young people starting new families, so full of hope and happiness. Somewhere in my travels and adventures, I Forgot to get married!!!
Now, I'm too old to start a family and I feel I just have no love in my life (except the aforementioned dog). I've never felt so debillitatingly depressed about my status quo. Can someone tell me, is this a symptom of withdrawals???
My childhood was far from perfect- parents divorced when I was young, and I was never real close to my Mom, but I've done real well for myself-- have a great career, my own home, and an awesome dog. I've always been a bit of a loner, and even though I always had relationships, I never got married or wanted kids.
Now, after two and half weeks of Vicodin w/d, I am so deeply sad. I am painfully envious of families, especially young people starting new families, so full of hope and happiness. Somewhere in my travels and adventures, I Forgot to get married!!!
Now, I'm too old to start a family and I feel I just have no love in my life (except the aforementioned dog). I've never felt so debillitatingly depressed about my status quo. Can someone tell me, is this a symptom of withdrawals???
I have done the exact same thing. I have looked at people, now and when I was on my worst dose and thought about how lucky there were they weren't in my shoes!
It is ok................it is very hard.
Karen
It is ok................it is very hard.
Karen
between tobacco, alcohol pain meds anti anxiety and anti depression sex, money debt body image food work and all the other addictive activities that are out there, i dont thinks it s a matter of who is, id guess most are struggling with an addiction or 2,
we 'in active recovery' and the lucky ones.
imo.....
we 'in active recovery' and the lucky ones.
imo.....
I'm OK, thanks. The mental part of this stinkin' disease is kicking my butt though. I knew it was coming, I just didn't think it would be this soon. I got a bad case of the "fell sorry for me's".
I too was reflecting, and that is what got it going. I am glad I read your post. It helped a lot. I am day 6 off the Suboxone, and I have to remember that is an accomplishment.
Sometimes I just need a good kick in the rear-end to get me out of the funk.
You keep hanging in there. You got that beautiful little girl who needs her mommy.
Love and Hugs.........
I too was reflecting, and that is what got it going. I am glad I read your post. It helped a lot. I am day 6 off the Suboxone, and I have to remember that is an accomplishment.
Sometimes I just need a good kick in the rear-end to get me out of the funk.
You keep hanging in there. You got that beautiful little girl who needs her mommy.
Love and Hugs.........
YOu couldn't be more right. It just amazes me how my mind works lately. Last night, I just sat there staring at my 7yr old daughter. I just thougth to myself, how innocent she is and full of energy. What I would give to be a child again and do it all over. But, I am a grown woman and need to step up and act like it. It is amazing what I have done. But its time to start over....
How are you honey. I keep forgetting you changed your screen name.....hope you are well my dear.
xoxo, Lisa
How are you honey. I keep forgetting you changed your screen name.....hope you are well my dear.
xoxo, Lisa
Congratuations...you are normal! LOL
I just feel that, for an addict, it is normal to think like that. No need to be jealous. Be grateful. Look how far you have come. You have overcome hurdles girl, and you are doing the right thing now. That's all that matters.
You know the old saying" the grass is always greener on the other side. For me, usually when I get to the other, I find that isn't true. You don't know what kind of lives other people have. You don't know if they are happy or miserable, or whatever. You DO know what you did today, and you KNOW you did the right thing.
Just trying to give you another prespective.
You hang in there and keep up the good work.
Big hugs at ya........
I just feel that, for an addict, it is normal to think like that. No need to be jealous. Be grateful. Look how far you have come. You have overcome hurdles girl, and you are doing the right thing now. That's all that matters.
You know the old saying" the grass is always greener on the other side. For me, usually when I get to the other, I find that isn't true. You don't know what kind of lives other people have. You don't know if they are happy or miserable, or whatever. You DO know what you did today, and you KNOW you did the right thing.
Just trying to give you another prespective.
You hang in there and keep up the good work.
Big hugs at ya........
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