i cant hardly take this horrible suffering!

[determinedagain]

I almost don't even feel it matters to even speak on where I'm at with this process...because it *** sure is not going to change what I'm going thru.  Omg..the *** headaches...I'm now sneezing...still my leggs are killing me.  This is just pitiful.  Sure makes it hard to keep fighting. Its got me questioning god!!  This should not be like this.  Its absolutely no *** words for what u have to go thru physically. As well as mentally.  This is sooo sooo ****** crazy that it should not even exist!!!....guess I just needed to scream somethin out of my *** soul!!...this is out of control!!!...yes I am familiar with the process..but I still will never understand why...god in heaven above would let something like this be soo soo traumatizing!  All ur trying to do is stop!!!  Anyways. This is day 4 for me..I'm just venting I guess..but it doesn't matter..I'm still in **** right now....so it doesn't matter about my screaming. My *** chest still hurts some & omg the lethargia is killing me!!..this ******** is ****** up!...but I'm determined to win..I'm gonna comee thru this,

[falsehope]

Such great advice!

[falsehope]

As hard as it is, get up and move around! It really does help! Take ibuprofen too!

[falsehope]

Use a heating pad for your legs! Take potassium!  It worked for me!

[ChasingFreedom]

It is through our greatest challenges that we grow in our Souls.  I'm 33 days in and can honestly say that I am happier, healthier, and more spiritual than my pre-drug days.  This arduous journey that we are all experiencing is a necessary "class" that we had to take in order to advance to the next level of our journey.  Had it not been for our addictions we would have never come together as a group of souls helping, teaching and loving each other through the most difficult challenge of our lives.  Let's embrace this test with everything we got.  We were meant to prevail and overcome.

[nursegirl6572]

Amazing post!

Yes, detox can be he**, but you also can work towards NOT getting to that "freak out" point in your mind.  I am sure it's easier said than done, but truly, the more you think about every little thing, and the more you ruminate about each symptom, the worse you will feel.

Do whatever you can to distract yourself.  As crappy as you feel, go for a walk, if even around your yard, something!  Watch a funny TV show or movie.  Clean out a closet.  It's the idle mind that isn't your friend during these rough hours.....and also, hang onto how far you've come....ever hour clean is a huge accomplishment.  You will NOT feel like this forever.  Even if you have to endure a WEEK (or two) of feeling lousy....it will be SO worth it to come out on the other side, with YOU in control....with your life back.

Sending you prayers for strength...keep posting.  The folks here know all too well what you're going through, and MANY of them have lived to tell about it, and how they got to the other side.  YOU will get there too.  Believe it, strive for it.....have faith in YOURSELF!!!

[jugglin]

Those are some amazing words!  Nicely done!

[Bubulous]

I used to get so f-ing mad at the pharmacy companies and the doctors then God.  I hated myself, my wife, my car, the noise the air made when it kicked on.  It is definitely a challenging battle and I am sure that at that most of us would have rather been shot than have to deal with it.  That being said I am not trying to promote anything but I like to post these to help people:

One day a time, I hear that a lot
But they don't understand the pain that I've got
I've lived through Hell and the trauma seems stronger
Than my will to recover, I pace and I ponder
Brooding for hours, I need to get high
My body is aching, God close your eyes
I don't want you to see this, I'll just let you down
I'm out of your reach in this poisonous town
I know a dealer who trusts me a lot
I've got enough gas, I'll give it a shot
I'll just borrow three, I'm fronting again
Soon I'll have money, I'll pay him back then
I pull up to his house, now I want more
I'm pushing my luck but I'll ask him for four
I sit on his couch and ask him for ten
He says that he's out, he's lying again
Now I am screwed, I don't have the gas
To search anymore, without having cash
Had I just asked for three, he may have gave in
Back in my bedroom the withdraws kick in
I can't concentrate, if I could I would fight
The daytime is torture, it's no better at night
Awake in my bed, sore from the pacing
I toss and I turn, my mind begins racing
Forgive me everyone for the lies that I told
For my reckless behavior and the things that I stole
Alone with my thoughts the sadness I feel
Subsides into sleep, the nightmares seem real
I wake drenched in sweat and pray maybe today
This cycle will end and I'll be okay
But peace will not come until the fear of a change
Is less than the pain of staying the same

[lulu747]

Listen.  You can do this.  I know you are in hell right now but the worst is almost over.  Day 4 is hump day.  It was my hardest day and it is forever burned in my memory.  You just gotta hang on.  Listen to music, pray, take those hot baths, take the vitamins and supplements, stay hydrated, and HOLD ON.  You will make it through this and what is on the other side is WORTH all this pain and suffering.  It's MORE than worth it.  And so are you.  So do whatever you have to do to even feel a tiny bit better.  Don't isolate- ask those around you for support.  You are not alone.  You have a huge cheering squad right here and we will all send our energy to hold you up.
You can do this.
Lu

[Pits253]

. If you didn't use today, you accomplished the single most important thing you could have. That's no exaggeration. I like that part!!!

[weaver71]

We place principles over personalities, ever reminding us to place progress over perfection. Sorry about the above mistake. Progress over perfection has been my foundation. If you didn't use today, you accomplished the single most important thing you could have. That's no exaggeration.

[weaver71]

In this stage of confusion, I totally felt like you do. I still struggle with feeling cursed from time to time. Time is your medicine right now. A few sayings helped me wait it out.

We place principles over personalities, ever reminding us to place principles above personalities. I would keep focused on the fact I didn't use, so that was all the progress I could see for awhile. People said it was worth it, I had proven drugs weren't worth it, so I stick with it to see if others were right. Well, they were. I am not always happy, but I am always at peace, just knowing I am doing my best.

"There is no problem so huge that drugs CANT make it worse."
I started searching for other ways to relieve what ailed me. My physical/mental/emotional/spiritual ailments all played a part in my suffering. I had to find new treatment for all of them, or I know I would go back to my old ways.

Be here now.
It was Struggling not to regret the past or anticipate the future. Each time I felt uneasy, which was constant the first months, I grabbed a book or went online to learn one thing about addiction. I would meditate on that for the rest of the day. If I caught myself getting off track, I'd learn another thing about addiction.

By continuing to search for alternative ways to cope, enough time passed for my body to heal. I spent a lot of time in meetings and counseling, which has helped my mental issues. I meditate and study Phosopher and religion, and that has helped with spiritual ailments. CBT has been the best for helping my moods and feelings. I tried all that was recommended, passing the time and gaining knowledge and skills. What have you been doing to pass the time?

[61chevy]

So many on here know your pain.  Indescribable, horrific pain n suffering.   I do agree with DominoS....God has not left your side.  I have suffered what u r dealing with once before in 2005,  and now on my 2nd trial, fighting for long term recovery.   I don't have difinitive answers for u, but can certainly offer my opinion, prayers, support n encouragement.
My opinion is God will not make this an easy process.   Is anything out there worth having, (like sobriety), easy?  God will get u thru this.  But He never wants u to forget what u r going thru.  If detox was easy, imagine how many MORE relapses and overdose deaths we would hear about.  
My prayer is for u to be strong during this horrific time.  Read these posts, stay in prayer, reach out to those that will support u thru this.  U r not alone.  I personally have discovered that in just the last couple of weeks, when I found this site.  People on this site will, myself included, support u positively and do all they can, willingly share their own knowledge and experiences and try to make this process easier.  But it isn't easy.  There isn't a quick fix.  We all have to suffer consequences for what we have done to our bodies.
Lastly,  I want u to b encouraged and know u CAN GET THRU THIS.  It's a bear....but u can do it.  After u do get thru this, u will b able to share your experiences and b a help and blessing to others.  Hold on to the positive outcome, but recognize u have entered a marathon, not a sprint.  Be determined to get to the finish line.  It will get better.  The 1st 3-5-sometimes 10 days are the worst.  From there, it will get a bit better day by day.  Hang tuff my friend.   There won't b a person on here not pulling for your complete recovery.  This day too, shall pass.
Blessings to u.

[dominosarah]

I know you are questioning God right now and i really believe that he is right by your side.  Many addicts dont get a 2nd chance at life, you have been given one.  Each time we go thru wd's it gets worse.  Our bodies take a beating and our insides need to heal from the damage we cause.  Try to get up and move around as much as you can.  Hot baths or showers will help too.  Are you taking any supplements?  I know this part suks really bad but you can and will get thru it~