Aa
Hey Everyone... been a while
Its been a long time since I have posted. I remember how helpful it was talking to everyone about 6-8 months ago when I was dealing with addiction to oxycodone. It has been great being clean, but I have been having a really tough time with getting away and staying away from the stuff. I would say that there has been about 4 slips in the past 6 months, but just over the weekend I used for the first time in a while and haven't been able to stop thinking about it since. Makes me wanna do it again. Need some support in making the right decision here. I know what the right thing to do is, but my mind somehow tricks me into thinking its okay.
Thanks everyone for the wise words. I still haven't used but I know that I need to get into a meeting soon because with all the stress at work and long hours right now I am at a point where the desire is strong.
Your brain keeps tricking you into using? Really. Or are you saying to yourself I beat this, I'm not using daily so I can handle it?
Where did pills take you before? Do you think this time will be different? Do you think I've got this? I know better now?
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing wanting a different outcome.
Deep down You know what needs to be done.
We need to learn to do what we need to, not what we want to
Where did pills take you before? Do you think this time will be different? Do you think I've got this? I know better now?
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing wanting a different outcome.
Deep down You know what needs to be done.
We need to learn to do what we need to, not what we want to
Using here and there is roller coaster to opiate hell. Opiates hijack the brain's reward system. Our brains are created in a way that makes us repeat behaviors that we enjoy. We are programmed to enjoy things that are good for us. Food, water, sex and probably some other things too. Addictive substances hijack this process and make our brains think their are as important as food, water and sex. That's why they are so hard to break free from. The urge is buried in our unconscious brain where our intellect has little influence. As soon as we quit a substance the desire starts to fade. It may never go away completely but it lessens over time. Each time we dabble with the drug that desire is refreshed. You've lit the fire again. This is why it's so important to never use again.
Do what you need to do. You are an experienced user and you know yourself. Your repeated usage is just sabotaging your future.
Do what you need to do. You are an experienced user and you know yourself. Your repeated usage is just sabotaging your future.
Ford. One is too many, a thousand is never enough. The fact you posted again shows us that you remember why you wanted to get off this crazy ride. Yes, you are going to have bad days and things that happen that will stress and tempt you to relapse, but my friend, this is called LIFE!!!! I am just now 67 days clean but I would never have gotten here drug free without the support from this site and from my NA and AA groups. From them, I have learned and continue to learn to live life just for today without the pills. Is it always easy? NO!!! But I found that listening to others who are recovering as well has made it a thousand times easier than going it alone.
Stay strong, get to a meeting (NO you don.t have to say a word) , and start living a truly GREAT life!!! You deserve that. Always with love Charlie
Stay strong, get to a meeting (NO you don.t have to say a word) , and start living a truly GREAT life!!! You deserve that. Always with love Charlie
Hey Ford- here's the thing. Yes you are doing great comparatively to where you were. But, that's how it starts, a few pills here, a few there and you are back to where you were. Besides, you said it yourself, you are having a hard time staying away from the stuff. That means you still have the desire to use. In addition to not having the tools and support to keep you from relapsing. That's the thing about relapsing: it always snowballs.
No, you don't have to speak at a meeting. You don't have to do anything but sit there (and listen.) Being clean and staying clean takes a lot of contrary action: getting out of your comfort zone. Every single one of us were scared or didn't want to go (no one says at first, "yay! when can I go to my first NA meeting!" ) Just gotta go.
I don't mean to be hard on you, but you aren't going in the right direction, so to speak. I'm speaking from personal experience. And I've seen it and heard it over and over. Get into a program and learn to live clean.
No, you don't have to speak at a meeting. You don't have to do anything but sit there (and listen.) Being clean and staying clean takes a lot of contrary action: getting out of your comfort zone. Every single one of us were scared or didn't want to go (no one says at first, "yay! when can I go to my first NA meeting!" ) Just gotta go.
I don't mean to be hard on you, but you aren't going in the right direction, so to speak. I'm speaking from personal experience. And I've seen it and heard it over and over. Get into a program and learn to live clean.
Thank u! I am going to look at upcoming meetings in my area. Do they make u talk the first time, or can u usually just listen?
My opinion may not matter, but I totally believe that therapy is a great form of aftercare. Keep it up dude!
You are right. I have looked at NA meetings but always back out to going. I have trouble opening up to people I do not know about this.
Right now, my aftercare has been seeing a therapist once a week who helps me deal with a lot of the issues.
Right now, my aftercare has been seeing a therapist once a week who helps me deal with a lot of the issues.
Hey! Yes, I remember you responding to my original posts. Thanks for saying hi again. I have made tremendous progress since we all last spoke. New job, back in the gym and lost a lot of weight. Yes, I have relapsed, but I am definitely proud at where was I was compared to now.
"I know what the right thing to do is, but my mind somehow tricks me into thinking its okay.".....read that sentence over and over again. If you are struggling, you need to be looking into aftercare. You need some guidance and tools to help you with the underlying issues that allow you to think using is ok....just once...or twice. You have done an awesome job so far, but aftercare will help you continue the awesome job. Aftercare takes many forms...NA/AA, Celebrate Recovery, SMART, counseling, pastor..something to help you deal with the "mentals".
Great to see you back!
Great to see you back!
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