temptation and oxy in front of me

[janshan]

I know I have read some of you talk about not desiring the drug when you finally get off, at least for a week?  My question is my hubby cannot quit his 80mg oxy habit uti the end of the month due to wokring 60+ hours a week.  I a on my 5th day detox, I am still at 20mg vic but  no oc. o when he gets home he does lines in front of me and ven asked me last night ifI wanted a line.  I was like are you %*(%$ kidding no way.  I am worried that after I am all done and have one of those days I may cave in.  Should I just have him not do it arund me?  I know he is sick of me being so lazy all week.  I WANT O BE CLEAN SOOOOOOO BAD!
Thanks

[Nodrugs]

If this helps, for nearly 30 years, alcohol/drugs made all of my decisions for me.  Who to marry (an alcoholic) When to marry..two days after we met....what jobs I got, how I raised my children...the list is endless....

Time for ME now....I am excited to see who I really am!  and you should be too as now we will have the option to change what we don't like and start things what we do like after we find out what that is...you won't believe how strong you really are...

Cindy

[road2recovery]

I have to agree that you are very strong...that soon i would of never said No, with it in my face...You know the saying misery loves company, well that is probably what he is feeling...Also some jealousy....
I do know someone that quit and her hubby kept trying to give her pills...He was not even a addict...Well come to find out, he wanted her clean, but she was not doing all the things she did before...He was honest with her and said " I wanted you to do all the things you use too:"..meaning super clean house, supper, etc....She was angry , but also could understand a bit...But after they talked, he supported her, did not offer again , and started helping out more...
I really think it is a mixture of things...But the only way to deal with them is to sit down and talk about them...Come to an agreement..They can't be in the house for sure...But if you said no, u are doing pretty darn good, so keep it up, and hopefully he will follow, and want to be clean as bad as you!!
good luck
r2r

[janshan]

Thank you for the kind words, it means a lot to me right now.  I know that is what he is scared of, drugs have been the only thing that has kept our relationship stable.  We now have to address all those issues that we have put off for 4 years.
Thanks again

[Nodrugs]

It is very common for a still using spouse, friend or other party to try and sabotage someone walking away from it.  It has upset the mobile if you will, tilted it and even though it is a dysfunctioning mobile, he wants you to get back on because it was more comfortable..I would bet he is terrified knowing that when you get completely clean, he will either have to or your relationship may change...alot f dynamics going on right now...some days the best we can do is pull the covers over our head and ride out the day...just don't use (after complete titration).

You are doing better than you think you are.

Blessings your way and for a hopeful gentle evening.

Cindy

[janshan]

No worries here about offending me, I think it was selfish of him, he wants sex and all the perks of a high wife and maybe jealous that I am getting clean.  It was not hard at all to say no, but that was then I worry when I am out of the misery.  He seems supportive but I know he probably enjoys our life when we do not have to deal with anything.  Be harsh it will not hurt me.
Thanks

[Nodrugs]

I..hope my post did not come off as harsh, I have a tendency to lack tact and can hurt others feelings without ever knowing it.  Rose703 said what I was trying to say in a much more delicate manner...you can do this..

Cindy

[Rose703]

Wow lady you're very strong to be able to sit there and even just watch him do your DOC!! Ouch I can tell you right now I would be totally Pi$$ed off and everyone in this house would know it too!!
I agree that it's your choice and your responsibility to get clean and remain clean but I also believe that you should be able to go to ONE place where your temptation is limited to mainly your own brain and to me this place would be my HOME.

Can you just tell your hubby that until you've got, let's say 3 months, clean time could he please refrain from using right in front of you? I would hope that he would respect you enough to do this once you ask him to.

God Bless You!!

[janshan]

It was kind of strange that he asked me.  I know it is because I am being a slacker all week, he feels after 5 days and still on 20 mg of vic I should be able to run a marathon.  He did quit cold turkey a few months ago for a couple of weeks, then I asked him to please get some and of course he has not stopped.  I know that was my fault, either way I am worried I will ake it through this finally and then slip.  I will just tell him to keep it out of the house. I feel like I am being too easy on myself, I have not gone ct because I still have to drop kids off and pick up dinner all that ****.   It seems like weaning has helped  a lot of you get clean.  I know starting Monday I have to be back to 100% or at least pretend.
Thanks, best wishes!

[Nodrugs]

What they said

Years ago I struggled with an alcohol prob..went to outpatient for 13 months, my husband still used BUT I set the boundary NO ALCIN MY HOME.  He did respect that and it was much easier but I also had to remember, just because I wanted to quit, did not mean the whole world had to too.  I had to learn to get myself out of slippery places and take responsibility for my own addiction.  I DID relapse after 7 years but have now been clean from alcohol since April 24, the day I drove my car off a mountaIn.

My point is, my husbands drinking was none of my business UNLESS it stepped on my toes and having it around was a toe stepper.  Be firm..No addict likes to use alone, when someone uses with another it gives them permission as they are not the only one.

Sorry this was long but remember. YOU are responsible for your own addiction/recovery and YOU decide how you want to live your life.

Blessings your way
Cindy

[cathy5841]

oh i have to agree with bandnmom.  and if he does not do it on his own, then yes ask him to stay away from you with it.  you will have to be one strong lady to stay clean with him snorting them in front of you.  that was my doc and method of ingesting it, and if someone were here on some days with i would cave...i have 6 months clean.  so, my point is stay away from it.  good luck...if you need anything let me know.
cathy

[GoingToMakeIt]

I would absolutely ask him to respect your wanting to be clean. Have him take it elsewhere. You don't need this in front of you!

[bandnmom]

Im sorry and hope i am not crossing the line here but if he knows that u r trying to get clean why the hell is he asking you if you want a line???? You should not have to ask him to take it somewhere else he should on his own out of respect for you..his wife!!! Stay strong girl!! We are all here for you....
jen