Lets have a Positive Check in today..

[FLaddict]

Lets all check in with each other.. introduce oursleves a little. Its a new day.. lets start fresh..

I am Stephanie, 26 yr old. Used heroin for my teenage years. Got clean in 1999 and stayed that way til 2 years ago when I had jaw surgery. Was prescribed vicodin es and percaset. Had multiple surgeries for teeth and jaw over the past 2 years. also have a herniated disc and sciatica. I self medicated that myself. Was up to 60-100mgs a day of pain pills. before finding this forum I tapered myself down to 30mgs a day. Was only taking enough to be "normal" I have been tapering ever since.. I had some medical stuff happen and have had to take pills for pain a few times.. but I am back on track now. Planning my wedding in 7 weeks.
Welcome to all the new faces.. this is a great tool for those of us trying to quit..

[depressedwoman]

Hi guys...my name is Lisa. I am 40yrs old and I am from New York. I have been an addict for about 3yrs. now and I am sooo ready to stop. My story starts out like everyone else's, you know, chronic disease, depression and of course the self medication. About 4yrs. ago I left my husband [ his choice] took my two kids [ teenagers ] and moved into my own home. At first I thought I was doing fairly well under the circumstances, however, little did I know that I was rapidly loosing it. I started to snort coke then I graduated to smoking crack. How stupid am I? I used to be a PTO mom very active in my children's Catholic school and now I am nothing but a stinking crackhead. I became very depressed and I tried to kill myself by slitting my wrists. My ex found me and I ended up in a psych ward, the first of 3 in one year. Eventually, my family intervened and I was admitted to a rehab..the best thing for me because I was able to stop using cocaine [ clean for over 2yrs. ]. Yea!!

During this time I also developed a chronic disease that has been very painful and I was given pain meds to help me. Well as we all know what starts out helping ends up hurting. To make a long story short...I got tired of using and I made a consious decision to stop and today because of suboxone and this wonderful forum I feel that I am on my way!! I am so greatful to be a part of this that I trully believe that God had a hand in this. I want to thank you all for your words of wisdom and your experiences because without this forum I don't think I could do this..The best to everyone on this crazy journey.

[manonfire]

My positive check-in was anything but. Sorry about that. I didn't mean it the way it sounded. I am just super edgy about my cancer right now, the 1st big appt is on Friday, and I've had too many tell me to "keep positive". I had forgot that it was supposed to be a POSITIVE check in. My mistake. I was just reading in Newsweek this morning that some of us with cancer can't stand that positive attitude stuff, so I'm not alone anyways. It does get to feel like blame is going to us for having it, if only we were more positive we wouldn't have it.

That was my only reason for being negative. Not posting my name was purely survival, after all the funny-stuff going on lately, wanted to be safe, but came across crabby. Might be too, talking with Yoda and oxy about the PAWS stuff made me realize I might be having a touch of that myself.

[Yoda99]

The last phrase was supposed to read " and to you too manonfire".

[Yoda99]

I think addictedtolortab started this post because of all the "****" that was going on between sick to death & sosad last night.  Then to sick to death brought it up again this morning.
I haven't heard from you in a while, so it was good to see your post.  I went a long time without posting because of the people leaving, but I've started posting again.
So I guess I'll tell my story; I guess it's rather positive:
My name is Linda and I am 36 years old, single, and live in Florida.  When I first came on this forum, I was in wicked w/d's from oxys.  I took huge amounts of them and when they ran out I just decided to go c/t.  But I didn't tell my dr. and when it came time for refill time, I picked them up.  180 of those beautiful 80 ER mg tabs.  I put them in a sock, tied it all up and put it far back in my closet.  I wanted to see if I could make 30 days without touching them.  Well last week, I flushed every single one down the toliet.  I had made 30 days and I thought it would be such a release to flush them.  But it depressed me instead.  I felt like I was losing a friend.
Anyway I go to college trying to get my degree in Nutrition.  I also do volunteer Nutrition and Food Safety Seminars through our county extension.
Take care everyone,
and you to manonfire.

[leelee71]

HiI. I am LeeLee (nickname). I am 36 years old and in management , have a boyfriend and two cats. I am a former heroin addict that got clean around 1998. Up till then I had been in countless rehabs (a few long term) and detoxes and outpatient for heroin mostly, but also for alcohol and cocaine. I was a crackhead too..LOL. Yes folks...she does it all!  I dibbed and dabbed here and there...I just like to get high. It was all manageable and sometimes months would pass and I would not have had a drink or drug and didn't miss it or crave it. Until I got started on the percocets. My tolerance increased dramatically and finally I just could not get high no matter how many I took and started to get behind in my bills and people at work were noticing. I got tired of feeling like **** all the time and constantly thinking of percocets...counting them, trying unsuccessfully to ration them, borrowing money and percs from people, fighting with my boyfriend about them....you know the drill people. I was looking for a support group (was still actively using) and found this forum. From here I learned about suboxone. At around this time I was seriously considering entering a rehab and wondering if I would lose my job for being away for a month and earning the wrath of my boss for forever. I started suboxone on Tues. last week and feel great. I have not had a perc since. I plan on being on suboxone for 6 months to a year...will see how it goes. I get so much info and inspiration from this board and am glad to be here with you fine people (Titanic). I bought methadone a few times to get off the percs and tried to kick myself and just couldn't do it. I really respect those who can and hope you can understand the route I took. Look forward to getting to know you all better....

[ScottQuit021907]

My name is Scott, I'm 30, happily married, and the father of twin boys with another on the way in October. I am 41 days into recovery from a 350 mg/day morphine habit. I am also addicted to nicotine and alcohol.

It's been hard, damn hard, living in recovery. I'm thankful for that because of where I am today.

Education and support have been key to my recovery so far.

I fully advocate the non-pharmaceutical approach to recovery if at all possible.

Today I am not going to have a pill, puff, or drink (all of which are equally deadly in my mind).

[singha]

congratulations on your progress and your new baby.

[minnie11]

Like Fladdict I was prescribed pain killers (tramadol) after multiple mouth and jaw surgeries (and subsequent infections) during the last two years and was soon addicted and taking up to 12 a day. I am 46 years old, have my own translating business and live in Europe with my husband and two sons, and like so many others I have kept my addiction secret and it has been a very lonely battle, until I found this forum and I have learned a lot and received much support. I am trying to taper, but not doing too well, but I will have some days off soon, where I will try c/t after tapering seriously for a week before. I hate living like this - being dependent on pills, worrying about having enough pills, spending all that money and keeping it a secret from my husband and family, and I really hope I will have the strength to get off the pills.  
Minnie

[addictedtoloratab]

Hi, my name is Georgia, I am 35 I am currently a housewife, I lost 2 cocktail waitressing jobs due to my using.  I have the same as most, disc problems, scoliosis, and arthritis.   I started taking loratabs almost 7 years ago.  As the ususal story, it started with 3 a day and went to 15 and losing count.  I have 3 childern a 6 year old, a terrible, terrible, two year old and a 14 month old.  Since I have been on this forum I have tapered down to 3 a day and I cant seem to get lower than that.  I am hoping to get on medicaid and try to subuxone.  It seems like everytime I go lower I cant function and I have to, like everybody else take care of my kids (2 still in diapers).  
I have been to detox 2 times and a few on my own.  I am hoping this year to just get off them altogether.  I love this forum because it feels like my second family, so much support.  Your family can only give you so much but if they are not addicted to drugs they just dont know where you are coming from and tend to get really frustrated.  I want to welcome all the new faces, so many I cannot keep track, but, please post.  I love reading everyones story because we are all so diffrent, but, with almost identical stories.. I wish everyone peace and happiness, Georgia

[manonfire]

My name is irrelavant, I am 40ish male, married sometimes happily, I have cancer and my prognosis isn't very good. (don't send me positive thinking posts or I'll puke in my mouth!) I have accepted my reality of maybe only living a couple more months, and didn't want to spend my last days on this earth in a drug addled haze. I was taking 1200 mcg's of Fentanyl a day, dosing myself into oblivion. I now rely on the smallest patch I can get by on. 25 mcg. I have shiit, puked, and made the miserable switch and have 29m days without an actiq. I can help with Fentanyl or any other opioid/opiate question. I ampretty sure I've been on them all at one point. Now for those that have to have positive waves in a post...I am going to beat the odds and live. OK? Now stop with the platitudes. Love, Manonfire

[Living life well]

Hey all! I am 23 years old and a mother of 3 from Utah. I got addicted to oxycontin in october of 2004, and hit rock bottom very fast. By December of 2005 I had 7 3rd degree felonies for prescription fraud. And was using anywhere from 5-7 oxy 80's a day or 20-30 percocet 10 a day. I was also a xanax FREAK!!!! Luckily I got into a court program that helped me to get clean because I was out of control, plus when I completed it, it exponged all of my felonies off of my record. Anyway I will celebrate my 1 year of sobriety on April 20th. Crazy, time flys!!! So much has changed in a year, I am a CSR for an insurance company, just bought my first home. Things I never thought could happen. I am also starting school in the fall to study behavioral science. Sobreity is awsome, but the first year is a rollercoaster! But it is so worth it. Remember the little things in life because sometime they are the most important!!! Good Luck to all of you, youo can do it your AWSOME!!!
Ashley

[Bulldog81]

Hi.  My name is michelle.  I am a 25 yr old addict in Florida.  At the current time...I am addicted to oxycontin.  I snort them and I am up to about 150mg  a day.  I have been this way for 2 years now.  I want to stop and I have set and appt to talk to a doc about getting on suboxone or another way to detox.  I guess I am addicted to anything though.  I have a very addictive personality.  Whether it is gambling...drinking...coke.  You name it and if its in front of me I will do it.  I have definitely reached the turning point in my life.  I know I want to quit and now it is just a matter of getting it done.  Good luck to all.

[singha]

Hi all my name is Michelle I'm a 35 year old mother of 4 and I have been addicted to Ultram/Tramadol for 11 years. I am about to get remarried and I want to start all over again. I found this forum about 15 days ago when I was trying cold turkey. I decided I would self taper instead. Noone has ever known about this except me. It has been so lonely till now. A few years back I was taking about 450 mgs a day until I found out I was pregnant. I went cold turkey and after I had my baby I waited 4 months to wean him from breastfeeding so that I could go back on Ultram. I hate myself for that. I have been taking about 200mgs a day for 2 years and decided that enough was enough. I have tapered over the last 2 weeks down to 50 mgs a day. I never drank in fear of being an alcoholic like the rest of my family and instead I am an addict.

[lil_rab2005]

Hey fladdict... I'm in titusville fl lol... prolly really close to ya.  I'm 36 year old housewife.  I got addict to pain killers about 3 years ago fully blown and it got worse and worse and worse.  I was up to around 400 to 450 mg of percs and oxy's a day.  I feel so ashamed but I'm gettin through it one day at a time.  Gettin' my family back and my life under control.  It's gonna take some time I know.  The real test is my friend goes to the doc tomorrow and I already told her not to give any no matter how much I beg but I know she'll give me at least one.  I'm gonna try my hardest not to ask lol.  Then my doc appointment is on Thursday but I really need to go because the bills are piling and I quit my job almost 2 weeks ago and I can make at least $1700 off the pills.  I can't afford not to go.  Another temptation of takin' one. grrrrr  so please any words will definitely help from anyone?  Go ahead bash away lol... I can take it.  I did find a job today so I'll definitely only go back to the doc once to at least make money this month... after that I'm not goin back. My thoughts are with all ya'll Luvs Lil.