Life after Oxycontin!

[gene10]

Thanks to everyone who sent me good wishes on my trip to detox from Oxycontin abuse. I spent 6 days in-patient at a nice detox facility up in the woods.  They used methadone to detox me & prevent the withdrawal from the Oxy.  It worked very well & I was tapered from the methadone over the 6 days & am now off of everything!

Being at a detox center with many other addicts was a true eye opening experience!  I was with herion addicts, coke abusers, & alcoholics.  I was amazed that every heroin addict I talked to had heard of Oxycontin & knew to snort it for the full effect.  But they all progressed to shooting heroin eventually.  I met people who spent many periods of time in jail, lost their jobs, families, homes, etc.  I went to lots of AA meetings & lectures & saw films about addiction. And I realized that I am no different than any other addict up there, just luckier to have not lost my job of family.  I met a guy who spent $100,000.00 in the past year on drugs.  But everyone there wanted to stay sober & we all worked together to do that.  They told me that only 1 in 40 patients there will stay sober & that's a depressing thought but I am that one person!  Most of the people there have been to numerous detoxes before but this was my first & last.  (I hope & pray)

So if you are addicted to painkillers, there is a way out.  Call your doctor or insurance company or look in the phone book for detox centers (they are everywhere) & ask for help.
I find that I get a lot of help just reading the posts on this website.  It is therapy for me & I also put my own posts here & have gotten tremendous support from others - doctors & addicts.

I will be checking this website regularly so please write to me.

[Joanne]

CONGRADS....YOU DID IT AND NO ONE CAN TAKE THAT AWAY FROM YOU ....I AGREE ..I READ THIS FORUM ALOT TO MAINTAIN MY KNOWLEDGE OF THE PAIN I GAVE UP..I MUST BE REMINDED OF WHAT I WAS SAVED FROM ...JUST LIKE YOU ..
GOOD JOB..KEEP US UPDATED

[Sherriq]

Congratulations Gene!

I've been reading your posts and following your story and I'm so glad you got through it okay.  Now for the hard part - staying off the stuff.  Rehab was an eye-opener for me, too.  One of the hardest things for me to accept was that I was just like everyone else there.  I never saw the pills as "drugs" - to me, they were "medicine from the doctor."  It took me - and my family - a very long time to realize and accept the difference.  

Like I said in another post on this forum - I get more from this board than I do/did sitting in a meeting.  And it really does help to be able to encourage others and help them along their path to "real life" again.  Please keep posting and let us know how you're doing.  We're here and we care.

Good luck, and again - way to go!

[Gene to Joanne]

Thanks guys for your wonderful heartful messages.  I am proud to be off Oxycontin now but I realize that what I read in other posts is true.  I feel pretty lousy without my drug of choice & I know that I have to be patient & I will feel better as time goes by.  This morning was the first time here at home when I didn't have to go to my workshop at 5:00AM to snort some Oxy so I could get rid of the withdrawal & go back to sleep.  That felt great!
Reading this website helps me a lot & going to AA meetings will also help me focus on what I am trying to do.  I don't want to be one of those people who end up back at detox again.  I don't think my wife would be so supportive next time.  She's still pissed at me for hiding my habit from her all this time as well as spending house money on drugs.

So keep writing & I will keep reading!

[Mick]

gene congrats!!big question, how did you go about finding this place. are yu sleeping at night again. good luck.

[Gene to Joanne]

I actually called my insurance company to see who they covered & took that list & called those places to see how they detoxed you.  I also called a few recovering friends to see what they knew about these places. The consensus was to use a place that was a nice country facility where you are not in a hospital & have some freedom to move around the grounds & they use Methadone to detox you.  It definitely worked.  And I'm off of methadone now too so that's important to consider since you don't want to go on methadone maintenance if you can avoid it!

I slept OK up there even with the awful beds they had but last night, my first night home, I slept very little.  I think that all of the stress that my wife unloaded onto me really took its toll.  I hope to sleep better tonight.  The Dr gave me Trazedone to use for sleeping & I have been using it with some success.

[Bill to Gene]

Gene,
When they gave you the methadone to detox, did you feel any discomfort at all from withdrawing from the oxy? You mention you do not feel that great now? Is it depression? Do you feel any axiety as that is what happens to me if I miss a dose of oxy? ALso, why do you need a sleeping pill to sleep if you have gone through the detox process?
Your input on my questions will help me decide if I should try and detox. Thanks and we are all proud of you for your courage do to this.

[Ted]

Can Ultram be taken while oxycontin still in system? Anyone have an answer?Please let me know. Can't get my oxy script for few days.

[Gene to Joanne]

The methadone took care of the withdrawal quite well I must say!
The detox is only the beginning of getting the opiates out of your body.  I'm sure that what I'm feeling now is the post detox depression that I have heard about.  I am so tired that I can hardly function.  I barely made it to work today.  I feel like an old man when I walk or climb stairs.  I have bouts of anxiety & jumping out of my skin feelings. I am definitely depressed.  I am on 10mg of Paxil & I need to increase that dosage.  I guess sleeping is hard due to the withdrawal too.  Believe it or not, I am also going through withdrawal from methadone even though I was on it for only 6 days & it was tapered down slowly over the 6 days.  The only cure for the way I feel is to take more Oxycontin & that is not an option for me.  

There is no easy painless way to stop taking opiates especially when I was taking so much every day.  (160-320mg of Oxy)
I will just have to grin & bear it for a while.  Hopefully I will see some improvement over the next week or so.

[Brian to Sick and Scared]

First of all, congratulations!  You are starting on the sometimes difficult but always rewarding road of recovery.  Please don't get complacent once the post-acute withdrawal is over.  A cautionary note about Paxil--read the postings below regarding its potential for withdrawal.  I personally think there are many other antidepressants with much lesser side effects than Paxil that have the same result.  Beware.

[Bob K]

Gene congratulations I wanted to tell you that I also have that very tired feeling. It will be two weeks for me tomorrow without oxy. I wonder if there is an antidepressant that makes you feel energetic. I thought I was ok but this is going to be quite an adjustment. For some crazy reason it makes me feel better when I post on this forum. Good luck we will get our energy back Bob k

[tom to Gene et al]

So it's your first and last rehab. You certainly have my best wishes that it turns out to be just that. Allow me to add a gentle caveat: Virtually everyone says and means that during or after their first rehab. There's nothing wrong or unusual about believing that. But, Gene, understand that recovery is now commonly recognized as a series of recoveries and relapses. This doesn't mean your recovery will go that way. But the danger in placing too much emphasis on 'the first is my last" is that, if you should relapse, you may feel so defeated and disillusioned that you fall even farther than you did before your first rehab. This is quite common. As much as we don't want to see ourselves as a statistic, we inevitably are just that. I said the same thing as you and meant it. I believed that I was different than the 39 who were coming back. But I wasn't. When I relapsed after that first rehab I fell into a despair of drugs and more drugs. I believed I had thrown away my one chance and set out to prove how hopeless I really was. I was lucky to live through it. But I was wrong on both counts: I wasn't the exception to the rule and I didn't have just one chance to recover. If you do relapse, Gene, don't think of yourself as a failure. Don't punish yourself by ingesting more drugs than before. Think instead, "I recovered once and I can do it again and again for as long as it takes. I am a decent man worth saving and my life is worth living, even if I fall again and again and again." It is enough that you go longer before each relapse. That in itself is a tremendous victory. Good luck to you and everyone battling addiction.

[Bonnie]

Gene,congratulations on your successful rehab.I am presently taking oxycontin and wish very strongly to stop it,but up until now I have'nt had the courage.I am planning on going to detox next week.Good luck and thanks for the encouragement you have given me.Keep up the good work!

[Gene to Joanne]

Thanks to both of you for the nice words & the good advice about relapsing.  My sponsor has told me that I can't & shouldn't say that I am finished with Oxycontin because relapsing is very easy.
And if I do relapse, then I will have a harder time getting straight again due to pride & shame issues.
I went to my first post detox AA meeting last night with my sponsor & it was a great meeting.  After the meeting, about ten people came up to me & welcomed me to the group & gave me cards with their home numbers & names & told me to call any time of day or night if I needed to talk.  I was overwhelmed by their genuine concern for me.  I know that going to meetings is very important for me especially for the next 90 days & I am going to one tomorrow.  (actually today since it's 2:00 AM)

I am having a terrible time with debilitating fatigue & the inability to go to sleep at my normal bedtime.  I get the "eebie jeebies" where I can't relax & I have that jumping out of my skin feeling.  The doctor prescribed Neurontin for that but it hasn't worked so far.
Does anyone know how long these side effects last?
I know that I could feel a hundred times better if I did Oxycontin again but I keep telling myself that that is not an option for me.  I can never touch that drug again as long as I live.

I really do believe that I won't relapse but I have to follow my sponsor's advice if I want to keep that promise to myself.

[tom to Gene]

Force yourself to exercise aerobically, i.e., vigorous walking, mild jogging (even 15 min will help) or lap swimming or anything that gets a large portion of your body in continuous motion 15-20 mins or beyond with sustained high-rate breathing (slow down if you get a headache, though). Emphasis on continuous and sustained (it's not aerobic if you stop and start, such as with tennis or handball). You're so used to manipulating your physical and mental state with drugs that you probably can't imagine that this will help, but it will save your life. Besides, there is a natural high at the conclusion of aerobic exercise that will appeal to your addict mind (think about the high from the start to motivate the addict in you -- it works!). Also (very important): frequent hot baths or jacuzzi's, especially before bedtime (or during the night). The hot baths go a long way toward relieving that incredible body ache and fatigue you're feeling right now (I know, it's horrible). If you can, eat like a pig. But, Gene, the thing that's really killing you now is that you're smack-dab right back in the very environment where you're used to being on Oxy. Everything you see, hear or feel is screaming at you to use Oxy. If you can, get out of there! Go somewhere where you've never been high. And stay away from anyone you're used to being high around. The very site of them will make you want to use. I know this isn't always possible or practicle (such as with your immediate family), but get as close to this as you can. Meetings, obviously, are the safest place for you to be right now. Good luck!

[Gene to Joanne]

Wow Tom, that is a lot of great advice!  I wish someone had told me these things a few days ago.  I am printing out your message & will try my best to follow your advice.  It's my only hope of surviving what my body is going through.
I am avoiding all of my friends who still get high for now & went to my 2nd AA meeting tonight.  I even raised my hand & talked a bit & got some great advice from a long time sober addict.
I know that things will get better over time.  Unfortunately, my family & job demands are very strong right now & I can't take off any more time from work right now.  I think a week off with my exercising at my gym & just taking care of myself would be a great help to me but I am out of vacation & sick time & can't afford to take time without pay.

So I will keep reading this website & posting messages as well as talking to my sponsor & go to as many meetings as possible.  They really do help!
Thanks again Tom!

[Brian to Sick and Scared]

The fatigue you feel is common and will only go away with time.  I tend to prescribe enervating antidepressants (such as Prozac) but they don't often do much (although I think they have some placebo effect).  Tom's advice is excellent--try his suggestions and they will help.  And remember, time does heal all wounds.  I know it seems like you will never feel better, but you will.  We've all been there more times than we care to consider.  I've been there from both sides of the fence (addicted and helping to treat addicts).  I wish you the best.  Brian

[Kimberly]

I am also detoxing off Norco (Vicodin 10mg).  It sucks bad, I did not have the option to taper just stop.  I feel very depressed, like life is way too overwealming, and their is no JOY in life.  Like Gene said I know I can put an end to my suffering but it will put me back into the drugseeking stress and I can't handle that either.  I told my doctor (rehab doc) that I was feeling like this.  I take 30mg's of Paxil and he added Wellbutrin.  The wellbutrin helps immediately, at least for me.  It makes me feel a little disconnected but that anxiety in my stomach that I can't live with is decreased by 65% at least after the first pill.  He said the difference with Wellbutrin is it puts chemicals into your brain unlike the ssri's (prozak, paxil, zoloft) that slowly urge you brain to produce itself.  I would also like to know how long this will last?  How long can I expect to feel like this.
Kimberly

[Bob K]

Kimberly I stopped taking oxycontin 17 days ago. I started feeling a lot better about the fourteenth day. I didnt get any antidepressants but I was lucky enough to have been detoxed with buprenorphine. For the first two weeks I felt sad and sore. I must say that I am glad I didnt do anything that would change my course. Today I am feeling much much more like my self. I was afraid that i would not get better because I am 50 years old. I started jogging at dawn yesterday and I think that has helped quite a bit, I wish you well Kimberly P.S.  I was addicted to pain killers for about 10 years. Bob K

[Gene to Joanne]

14 days to feel better?  I can deal with that!  Congratulations Bob on your new found sobriety!  I still can't fall asleep at night due to the muscle spasms or eebie jeebies as I call them.  This is really killing me especially being back at work & covering for my partner who is on vacation for 2 weeks.
Did you have anything like this? This Thursday is 2 weeks for me but I don;t ecpect to see any improvement by then.
I also remember why & how I got into painkillers in the first place;  chronic pain which I had been suffering from before I started taking narcotics. Now that I'm clean, I am really feeling my age & I'm starting to think about how bad my job may be for me physically.  I hope that as I adjust to my new lifestyle, my pain will decrease.  Chronic pain would surely send me back to Oxy, even if I don't wan't to get high with it.

[Bob K]

Gene you can expect to see improvement. I started taking oxy for bad pain also. But in hind sight I was trying to kill my pain with an elephant gun. I always did what I wanted. When my doctor said no more oxy I made a phone call. I really thought I was doing the right thing. I bought someone elses medicine for 9 or 10 months. THE more I started to need it the more expensive it got. I was being used because I put my self in the care of a drug dealer. I did get the hebe gebies as I called them. They stoped on about the 14th day or so. Once in a while I take one of my wifes small xanax to help with the sleeping problem. If that dosent work I restring a guitar or play a little or do something that needs to be done while IM awake. The person who sold me the oxy all of a sudden dosent want to see me in pain. screw that my life is hard enough and im not giving this person any more of my money. You will be fine very soon. I have mentioned that previous to the oxy I had a ten year thing with darvocet about 6 a day. That never caused me any problems I keep telling myself. Im glad that I now realize that anything like that at all would be like changing seats on the Titanic. Bob K

[Kimberly to Bob K]

Thanks for your advice, I have taken a few pills over the past 10 days, about 15 Vicodin, I hope it doesn't ruin what I am trying to do.  I picks me up to hear realisticly I will begin to feel better after 2 weeks.  I feel like dying right now, the anxiety in my stomach is the worse, Wellbutrin was working for the first two days but today not so good.  I wish you all the best. Kimberly

[Bob K]

Kimberly Im feeling better about living without oxy but I have to be realistic. I was taking pain meds for a long time and my healing process is just beginning. When I walk across the room its a whole new ballgame for me. Im going to see my doctor for a well needed physical. I hope the bad feelings you are having go away soon. When I think about my life I realize that the nineteen 60s 70s 80s and 90s were all very active drug years for me. One type or another I always kept up with the times. It feels like Im dying also at times and may very well be. Tonight I feel better than I ever did during my whole oxy addiction. I know its going to take a lot to maintain this new high. Good luck Bob K

[From Aunt Lindy to Mariah]

I was wondering how you are feeling today?  I am in the same situation that you are in only I have not quit yet. I am afraid of how I will feel.  I know how I feel now when I run out too soon. I feel like I am going through an exorcism when that happens.  I hope that you are doing well. I admire your courage.
Sincerely,
Mary.

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

I will be seeing my niece next weekend during our annual family reunion and need some advice.  I saw her last on Mother's Day and she looked like death.  She was puffy, pale and had trouble standing.  My brother informed me that she was taking Oxycontin for knee pain.  As of yesterday she was still taking it and I am more than a little concerned.  She has had this knee pain since 1992 and has not gotten any better.  As an addict who is trying to stay in remission myself, I would like to talk to her about this problem.  She has moved to another state because the doctors here won't deal with her anymore.  Her husband has left her because of her addiction.  My brother thinks that her pain is real even the Mayo Clinic gave her a clean bill of health several years ago.  Should I get involved?  I really want to grab her and shake some sense into her.  How should I handle this, if at all?

Thanks,

John B.