Light @ the end of the tunnel

[jsharp]

I have been addicted to pain killers for the last 6+ yrs. In the past yr. I had taken them more than ever before (I had a car accident so I had access to them). I always knew that I shouldn't take them so much, b/c I was causing damage & addiction to myself. But the need to have them took over everything. My husband, & mother were concerned & wanted me to stop. I didn't listen to anyone, until 6 days ago I took my last pain pill & knew I was done. I'm not saying I just decided to quit. It was a very hard decision, During my better moments I called my Dr. & all my friends that had ever gotten me pills, & told them I was addicted to them & even if I beg DO NOT get me ANY! I immediately regretted that & grieved like you wouldn't believe. I have been in the worst pain physically & emotional for the past week. Feeling as if there was no way I could do this. I thought I wasn't strong enough. I couldn't take time off of work to be miserable in my own home, so everyone @ work got to see my sweat, shake, puke, my guts up, & **** every time 15 mins. Of course they just assumed I had to flu. Today when I came home from work I felt the worst I have felt this whole time. I took a shower & something changed. I feel so much better. I was able to get out & dry off w/o immediately sweating, in fact 2 hrs. later & I'm still dry! :) I ate a slice of pizza, & its stayed down & the sense of doom has subsided. I don't for one min. think I'm done feeling like ****, but I think the worst has passed. :) Even a few hrs. to feel like my old self is enough for me to know that I NEVER want to take another pain pill in my life. I know very soon I will want one like I've never wanted one before, but I will remember tonight, & the feeling of being happy & I'M SOBER! :)

[prayformetoo]

Thanks you for your honesty and encouragement..Keep up the Good work.God Bless Steve

[forumryder]

we all know what your going through.  thats one of the hardest part of wding is at the time your like omg im dying i shouldnt be going thru this its not normal and stuff.  but then we come on here and its just comforting.  everyones been there.   whatever your feeling someone on here has felt.  someone on here has conqured exactally what we feel.  keep it up stay clean .

[jsharp]

I didn't realize how much sharing like this has helped me, until  yesterday. I found a pain pill in the bottom of my purse. OMG, it was like friggin x-mas! I put it in my mouth, grabbed the Mt. Dew..... & spit it back out! The next thought was that I almost let everyone here down. I read about everyones struggles to get & stay clean everyday. I find hope in your words, b/c I know what it feels like & I get to know what I can expect. I also get to tell someone my struggles & feel like finally SOMEONE understands exactly what I'm going through :)

[lilolme29]

thank you for sharing, I am on day 2 heading into day 3. I remember when I quit smoking and remember counting the days, now I just know its over 2 years since I last picked up a smoke.
best. thing. ever.

I am doing this for me, and as a gift to my daughter for her birthday, only she doesn't know because she has never 'seen' that side of me...

its good to know this is light, because today has been hard, harder than most things I have ever done... including child birth.

[keystock]

Thank you for sharing your progress! I'm tapering @ the moment and hoping it isn't as bad as what you experienced with ct I can't screw it up as its my christmas present to myself as on xmas I will b to 1mg and done! I don't want to go threw another pregnancy on pills because I thought I needed them 4 my neck (all I really needed was a good chiropractor). So thank you very much 4 your light

[forumryder]

congratulations.  it feels great to be clean hey.  im on day 9 ct from oxys.  those showers help so much its not even funny.  you can feel like your literally dead and you step in that hot shower and you just feel normal again.  ya ive taken like over 10 showers a day before.  never ever underestimate a good shower.  anytime you feel like **** hop in.  cant hurt.  it like re sets me.  ill be freaking out feeling like dying and just u know the whole wd thing and u hop in shower and it just slows me down.  remebers all the reasons why i quit just everything about it is good