Lorazapam

[Dee]

I was taking 1 lorazapam at bed time for many years. It worked well as far as helping me sleep through the night. My Dr. retired and i ran out  I had some ativan that someone gave me which seems to work. My question is, will there be any withdrawal symptoms if i stop taking these all at once? any info on this would be appreciated.

[Wizard]

Welcome to the forum Dee. 1st off I'm not sure if you know that Lorazapam and Ativan is the same thing. It's a fast acting benzodiazipine short lasting in the system. Any benzo should not be stopped without a taper because it could bring on seizures. Thomas could tell you more on that subject. If you are only taking 1mg at night and none during the day you should be in a position to taper fairly well. I would not try this though witout consulting a Dr. Can you go to whoever took over your old M.D.'s patients? All of the above information is just my opinion as I am NOT a medical professional, but I do take Ativan as prescribed. Good Luck to you.
Power & Magick 2 u,
Wizard

[Thomas]

if you've been on lorazepam (brand name is ativan) for years, you'll need to come off of it gradually or risk a seizure. Warning signs of seizure are anxiety, numbness in the hands (especially thumbs and forefigners) and tightness in the chest. I would not waste any time seeing another doctor about it. Good luck.

Thomas

[dee dee]

Thank you so much for your input.I was kinda hoping that the dalmane would just take the place of the lorazapam without any side effects of not taking the lorazapam.I have posted on this site in the past and i had a problem with abusing vicodins which i have been in the process of weaning off due to my source becoming non-existent.I have managed to cut my mg. in half per day so far.I will soon be cutting that in half to.Just to let others reading this with the same problems and fears, It was very uncomfortable the first 2 weeks but it has gotten alot better.Thank god for all of you that have helped so many of us with your wisdom and support on this site. Thank you again. DeeDee

[Thomas]

Dalmane, being another benzo like ativan, might, in fact, work out fine. All benzos eventually affect the same brain receptors, so, you just might be right about the dalmane. A pharmacist might have something to offer on the subject.

[jennyfla]

Sorry to cut into the thread so early-on, but this is important.  This has been a horrible night, my husband stopped taking his antidepressants about 4-days ago, and he is really wacked-out.  He was taking Effexor, and refuses to take them any longer because he feels they interfer with his um, 'manhood'!  Sorry guys, but this is really making him psychotic, and it's scaring me!  He refuses to believe that all the oxys and methadone he is putting in him just 'might' be adding to his problem ever so slightly; i wish he would look at the reality of all this abuse because it's time for his to WAKE-UP!!!
He put me through hell tonight saying that it's "all my fault' of course, everything is always somehow, someway my fault.  Not to mention the vodka he was pouring down his throat.  You all know i am very familiar with the effects of drugs and alcohol, and i've tried to explain that to him many many times, and also the effects of all these drugs, but he chooses to live in a world of denial!
He's missed doses before, and i knew it was a bad mistake.  I asked him to please tapper at least and to see his dr before cutting stopping with them completely, but he insists that they are all wacked and only after his money.  Do you see what i have to deal with, sigh! :(
He's asleep now with the help of a good reliable friend, mr xanax which is given to him only when he needs it, he doesn't have access to any medication, it's locked in a safe.  If he had access, he'd take them as quickly as possible.  The only reason i even give him anything is because he is addicted (which you all know the story), and by cutting him off from the meds, it wouldn't solve anything at this point.  You guys know how that goes, no one here will say, just don't give them to him, because, as you all sadly know, it's not that easy.  That's why i feel i can talk to you guys, because you understand what it's like to be addicted to something.  I also understand i am only enabling him... and that's a whole other story and, another sad part of my life.  :(
My question is, how long does it take for him to get past the, i guess, withdrawal effects of the lack of anti-depressants?
Yes, all this gobbly gook to get to this one tiny question.
Believe me, this has been the night from hell!  Or maybe i am just in hell, i'm not sure.  :(
I just don't know how much more of this i can stand.  I have all these children to take care of and to sheild from this mess, and then, with a husband who is loosing it at a rapid rate, it's wearing me down so quickly.  He is acting so strange, and very unprodictable now, at least with the antidepressants, he stayed somewhat neutral, which isn't good either, i understand.  With the combo of opiates and antidepressants, it was no wonder he could feel anything at all.
But now, he is a mess of tears and anger!  One minute he is crying and the next he is cursing, and it's turning me into a basketcase!
I'm doing all i can just to maintain my sanity and be here for my children who need to be in a world where they feel they are safe.
His anger is not directed towards the children at all, but is towards his bosses, and to me, i'm afraid.  He is angry with himself, but chooses not to focus on that, although he is aware of it.  Instead, he is blaming me for things being wrong, especially the sexual part!  Sorry again, i hate to bring up that subject here, but it's all a part of the problem, so if i left it out, a big piece would be missing.
In numbing myself with oxys, to tell you the truth, i could really care less about that topic, and also, i have so much frusteration and anger inside for him myself, i really don't miss the intimate part.  I miss the 'old him', but this new, addictive one, i don't really care to be that 'close' to!
He causes me so much termoil in my life, it's just a constant kind of firedrill, every day of my existance!
It's always something with him, his job, his back, his mental state, always something.  How much longer can i keep this up.  He says i'm a wonderful mother, but not a good wife.  Is he out of his mind, doesn't he 'see' everything that i do for him, everything short of wiping his ass for him (sorry!  it's late and i am so past tired, and hurt).
I know that's not good for him, he must learn to stand up on his two feet, and as long as i keep enabling him, and patching and repairing all the messes, he'll never get better.  I feel i am the worst thing for him sometimes, and it makes me feel bad about myself.  I should probably take the kids and run, and get myself better, and concentrate on myself and my precious, beautiful children.  I know i'm nuts for staying, but i remember what he is really like deep inside, and we've been together for 20-years now, and i can't just give up and throw that all away.  I also fear he will die out there, or definately hit rock bottom, which is where he needs to be to finally come to the conclusion that he has to get help or he will die.  
I understand he feels pain, which is back, but it's not bad enough to justify taking all the medications that he does.  I sometimes wonder how he would feel if he just got off of everything, how much of the back pain would still be there.  I think he is in withdrawal part of the time which can make you feel like every musle and joint are screaming at you!
Thank you for listening, it's been such a long, horrible night, i just can't turn myself off and go to sleep just yet.
Tomorrow is another day, and although i look forward to spending the day 'not' working, and also being with the kids, i also dread the mood me might be in, he's so unpredictable lately!
Sigh, will this permanent frown ever come off of my face! :(
Lv Jenny

[susanlea]

Hey finally something I have alot of experience with! First of all calm down. Second, what dose of Effexor is he on? 75mg or 150mg. Do you remember a couple of months ago, I got all weepy and I felt like my life was out of control. Well your husband has done exactly what I did! YOU MUST NOT STOP TAKING EFFEXOR ABRUPTLY! You must taper it, just like you taper up to a dose in the beginning. As my physician and a psychiatrist both told me, your husband has now thrown himself into a BIOLOGICAL depression. He has shocked the area of the brain Effexor works on. And if he takes a regular dose instead of increasing it after a few days, he will shock it again. Right know his brain doesn't know which way to go. If you can get your husband to take a starting dose for a few days and then increase to his normal dose he will feel better. Trust me. I made the same mistake 3 times and thought I was having a panic attack. Stopping like that makes you feel freaked out. It won't physically harm him, but he will act really weird and bent out of shape unless he gets back up there. Effexor has to be weaned off to let the neurotransmittors adjust. He's freaking those transmittors out! Now, welcome to my world, or what it used to be. My ex who you know about. Could not have sex, couldn't get it up (excuse the bluntness) or it couldn't stay up. Of course I was blamed for it, just like you. A fight would ensure. And the battle would begin. Oxycotin over a period of time, like any narcotic taken in excess normally makes a man impotent. Most of the time Oxycotin makes you not even interested. I searched for answers and round and round I went. To Drs to shrinks, thingking My God, he must be right, it must be me, it's my fault, I'm not doing something right, I must not be sexy or pretty enough. BullShit!@(sorry) That's the biggest guilt trip of all time,It can't possibly be him, he's a big burly man, so it has to be you.  Jenny, we are so much alike. The pain we both endure for love. And yes enabling also. Remember I stayed in constant pain, I wanted to give him my meds, it's ok he's not in pain, I am, but I wanted to make him happy. God forbid if he went into withdrawals. You really know Jenny....that if you were to take the kids away for a couple of days, took the pain pills with you and he went into withdrawals....he won't die.  I lived that vicious circle for 2 years. The yelling, the fights, the abuse, the anger. He was always slamming doors, hiding in a locked room. Being Called an F@*#king *****, a F@*#king C@#T, good do I miss those days......NO WAY. Remember the freedom we talked about, on Easter I sat in the back yard watching the kids, the clouds, the birds. I am enjoying life again. No it's not all gone yet, the pain stays with me.  But I now have so many more Sunshine moments than the darkness.  I lived in a dark, massy world for 2 years. You could have cut the air with a knife. The house always closed up, drapes drawn. Let some sunshine in, my Florida girl! Please, please go to Al-anon, it's hard to find a good NA group, sit and listen, you do not have to talk,, just listen to others, you will see yourself many times over in the ones around you. You will see them at different stages. The new ones who have come because they feel their lives are over...all the way to the ones who've made it over the mountain...and survived. Yes there is life after this. No my ex was not the father of my boys, but he was there for over 5 years, since they were 4 and 5, they haven't seen or heard from him since he left and yes they are hurt, and yes they are mad. But you now what? We are, yes we are happier and better. And we will continue to get better everyday, untill we will say What was his name? I'm not saying leave him, but do something for yourself. And as you have more than once told me, do it for the precious ones. Because believe me, they know what's going on, and it does affect them more to see the addiction, and the emotional withdrawn state he's in than if you were to leave until he's straight. If you love him, you will do whats right for you and your kids. And I believe you love this man. Everyones different, I don't mean to be hard on you, I love you dearly. When he left I was the new one in the room, the one feeling my life was over, I loved him so much.  But somewhere between then and now, I have learned to love my self alittle more and you know what! I'm alot more fun than he ever was.....talk to me.....Love Susan

[susanlea]

You don't want to end up with permenant frowns, it will age you quickly. In one short year I have aged, the wrinkles are showing, boy that Plastic surgeons going to have a good time working on my face in Sept. Cheer up! It's not your fault...love you girl..Susan

[CASEY]

I have gone through so much of what you described with my 19 year old son. "Peace at any price". He went  through rapid withdrawals from Paxil, relapsed and ended up in ER when he overdosed on heroin and speedballs.  Since  I can't "divorce" my son, I finally admitted that I could not run interference for him for the rest of his life and mine. I let go of the fear of his destroying the house, getting arrested or overdosing. I did not have the energy and why just keep the status-quo going when it is leading no where? A year from now you will be worse or in the same place if you try to keep him contained. I resisted Alanon for 2 years. It is saving my life. For a least 2 hours a week, I have sanity. Please put your energy into yourself and your kids. Let the chips fall where they may with him. Who knows? Things might get better. My heart goes out to you. None of this is your fault Trust me! love,  Casey

[Milo]

Bless your heart, you know I'll be thinking about you and hoping that you find the wisdom & strength to do whatever you need to do to make this awful situation better. I don't pretend to know what you should do, but your husband definitely needs to get back on the antidepressant -- lea explained the "discontinuance syndrome" better than I could. I don't know how you can get this across to him except that it's the only way he'll feel better, otherwise he'll continue to suffer for some time. Maybe you could get some info about Effexor withdrawal (tons of posts about AD withdrawal symptoms on the web) and show it to him? I'll be wishing you & your sweet little kids the very best. -- Milo

[skipper]

i guess i'll just have to echo what milo says.i am sure that what ever decision you make: stick by it, don't back down. If you have
to, go to a protective shelter!Even just a couple days of cooling
off for both you & your husband might at least give one of you the
time & space to make decision for right now and the near and far future. Even though i'm not real comfotrable about talking about
my own problems with impotence and the effests of opiates of any
kind (not just oxy), i too sadly am aware of them. i had my wife
read your post and her heart goes out to you. after many false starts i'm on my detox from oxy and everything else.i put so much
hope in getting my neck brace off- i guess i thought the pain would go away too. well it hasn't, i'm riding about a +9. mr. jones hasn't yet showed up yet but i know he's coming. i do have
soms valium and loperimide so i might have as bad  a time as i loooking forward. i'm deterumined too see my pain doc whith a few
oxys and oxy ir left when i go in the 16th. of july. will see.
hey every body be careful
skipper

[Thomas]

I don't know how much more plainly I can say this, but when someone starts washing methadone and oxy's down with vodka it's time for that person to be committed. Does he have insurance at his job? He really needs to "go away" to a residential program where they control his movements, make him do 90 meetings in 90 days whether he wants to or not, and contribute to the maintenance of the residence. Either that, or you and the kids just have to get the hell out and let him kill himself by himself.

In his "big picture" whether he's taking this antidepressant or that one or none at all doesn't really matter much. He needs to go away to a place that will teach him how to live again without drugs. Right now, he's completely forgotten how to do that. It needs to be taught, or re-taught, just like any other skill.

Your Friend,


Thomas

[skipper]

Thoma: i think you're probably right about jennfla husband. oxy &
methadone would seem to be a out of hand combo. i have know idea
what his dose of "jump juice" is or if he is getting through a
program that adhers to federal guidelines. probabaly not as they
the (program administrator staff ) would catch the oxy in a U.A.----
in the late 60's and early 70's methadone was a completely different
story. I remeber one program administrator who thoght the more
doliphine tablets they could jam your down throat the beter. If my drug addled memory serves me righrthey were stamped Lilly rj28. The govt. lost track of so many of these tablet that Lilly was forced in to puttinganother ID code on them.
Jeeyfla: pleases hang in there.

[cindi]

Hey you chickies.....ok,,,,,I have read and re-read your posts Jenny and susan both....even though as it is now I don't have alot of time down here and I don't get to answer your e mail like I should or post when I should my thoughts are with you both....I sit here and just cry thinking of what both of you are going through...But for the Grace of God, there go I...my husband is in recovery and I had a horrible dream last night about him using again   and my marriage was totally threatened.....I have absolutely no words of wisdom that will make things any easier or better for you but...what I can tell you both...is this......you both are such beautiful women...deserving of a good life and happiness....but I also know that I don't have to tell you this.....both of you are well aware of this fact.....you have admitted that you are good mom's good people....and this I feel is a true fact.....Jenny, I saw you,,,,,I saw your babies...but under your pretty face I saw sadness....as I once saw in my own eyes....wondering where it will end.....where things will take me...I walked along the beach today......wondering what the tide would bring into my life next....and this must be in you minds all day and all night....the answer to both of you my dear friends,,,,is lying in your heart and in your soul.....in your own backyard...the answer, I have learned is never very far away from us...It does take alot of soul searching, prayers,tears, pain and heartache to finally find an answer that you are looking for,,,,,no body here on this forum or anywhere on the face of this earth can make your minds up for you....only you can do that....only you are responsible for your own happiness...not even a man,,,,is responsible for making us happy,,,,we have to do that ourselves...and we start by liking ourselves and realizing we are worthy of only the very best....can you both try and promise me,,,,no, promise yourselves that before you continue to take care of anyone that you will first take a good long look in the mirror and then do something good for you.....love can be a winderful beautiful thing,,,,,but in bad situations it can take us down as fast as this disease will....be well for you, then your kids,,,and in time,,,,in God's own time.... God's will be done....I love you both      cin

[susanlea]

Where are you? I'm getting really worried here. Please let me know that everythings ok. I was up till past 3 in the morning wishing I had your phone number. I am planning to go to Clearwater in July or the first week in August. I am driving down from Va. and would like to see you. Remember we are just alike and maybe that's what God had planned for us to met. Honey I will pray for you and your situation. I, better than some know how hard it is not to enable someone you love so much. I learned very hard and too late as you know. Please don't put you and your children in the line of fire as I did. My kids are going to Al-ateen Monday. This has affected them more than I knew. I'm now just seeing how bad and in what bad shape they are emotionally. How could I have let this happened to my 2 little boys, how could I have let them be hurt, I am supposed to protect them and I failed. Jenny, if you need me I will come. I promise....Love Susan (***@****)

[Kerrie]

Hi Girls,
    You've been given a lot of good advice Jenny. Lea was in a bad place but I'm so glad her pain is getting easier. She was where you are. I have a good husband. He had a nervouse breakdown some 5 years ago or a little longer. They put him on so many drugs after that, he couldn't function. They created a zombie and hid his problem instead of helping. The problem is he is a manic depressant with bi polar disease. It runs in his family. But he was fine untill he was injured and could no longer work. He became a person I didn't know. After a while he took too many valiums and was in intensive care with a blood pressure of 30 over something. Bottom line is this. He had an illness but it was killing everyone he loved. He was destroying our lives. A person has to decide what's important to them. He realized with some gentle help( I didn't hurt him bad) from me that he needed to get a grip on his problem. He went off any meds that were not absolutely needed. He quit taking pain pills because he couldn't use them right. No more valliums. He takes antidepressants and stomache meds.
    If your husband loves you, it's time he does something to show you. Our sex life isn't too great mostly due to the meds.He was on Effexor untill he spoke with his doc about it. They changed it and he is better. But if we never make love again I can deal with it as long as he was is kind and caring and shows me. That's the kind of making love that matters the most to me.
    Jenny, you deserve to be treated like a person. You need to tell him to get help or get out. You are putting yourself and your children in danger. I know you said he doesn't lash out at the kids, but there's a lot of people that have killed their children because they wanted to hurt the spouse. Mental illness is treatable but you have to take a stand here for your family and before it's too late. Your in my prayers. Both of you.
      God Bless,
            Kerrie

[cindi]

You are driving down from Virginia    PLEASE GIRLFRIEND>>>>TELL ME HOW IN THE HELL TO GET THROUGH THE MOUNTAINS WITH OUT HAVING MAJOR ANXIETY ATTACKS....Please tell me it can be done...LOL    hope all is well with yiu    love cin

[susanlea]

I live outside Washington, DC, so I just come straight down 95 to Tampa, than 4 to 60 into Clearwater. Sorry honey, I don't go through any mountains. I need to see my sister, she always helps me get back on track emotionally. We talk at least 2x's aday, boy do we have hugh phone bills! But I love her and miss her so much. My boy's went to Al-ateen tonight! They decided on their own that they wanted to find out more, and why he hurt them. My 11 year old went with me to Al-anon last week and thought it was cool. He's the one so angry and hateful toward my ex. This is a very large group and they seemed to connect, and they want to go back! All I can do is take it one day at a time. I've spent so much energy trying to figure out what's happened and what will happen in the future. I've finally realized to take baby steps. I can't undo the past so I have to let go. And the future's not here yet, but I believe I can handle one day at a time. Just to get through one day at a time without pain, anger or sadness. I love you girlie, Susan

[Wizard]

Cin, you better look to the sky for my flying monkey darling! he heard you had been having such a great time there that he took off on me again! You keep your chin up lady, You know I'm thinking about you with the 4th coming up. All will be well for you I promise. Keep the faith and do what you have to do! Remember the old cliche' Today is the first day of the rest of your life! Your mother is looking out for you up there with my dad for sure. Remember to "face piles of trials with smiles" or this cheeze wiz is gonna have to ride this scoot allllll the wayyyyyyyyyy across this country to make you laugh! The best part of leaving the great place you are at is the fact that you get to look forward to going back again! Now, GIVE ME BACK MY MONKEY! LOL
God Bless you luv,
Power & Magick 2 U,
Peace & Light on us all,
luv Cheeze Wiz

[cindi]

LOL   so If i don't cheer up you are riding your NEW HARLEY all the way to OHIO to cheer me up?     gosh   I am so sad and don't know if I'll ever snap out of it so you better get the bike and come on....hmmmsoooo   sssssaaaaaaaddddddddd  is cindi..:(  but maybe,  just maybe a harley might do the trick      sob sob  you better hurry....gettin sadder by the minute......:( :( :(  what a guy....a mystical, magical surfin scootin dude...you are truly a friend     thank you for cheerig me up.....it seems you always have the words....as if you are right here with me....ok......now that we have shared this flying monkey,,,I'll pay no attention to the man behind the curtain   lOL   love you cheese      cin

[jennyfla]

I'm here i'm here!!!!
I'm at work today, didn't make it yesterday, i laid in bed too depressed to get up! :(
I have two daughter here at work with me today, so although i'd love to type individual responses, i have my hands full!
Wow, what a response, i'm and overwhelmed with the amount of support i received, and i reread my post from that dark night, and now i remember why i must be feeling so depressed.  Life plus a bit of withdrawals too.  The more depressed i've been, the more **** i would take, so i'm feeling the effects of doing too much over the weekend.  I wake up so low, i can hardly get  out of bed!!!
My husband is back on the effexor, and taking his methadone again, so he seems to be somewhat more stable.
Susan...  I read your words, and plan to go back and reread them when i have more time, and what words they are!  I might need to reread that post over and over for it all to sink it, and i thank you so much, and i'm glad you feel free somewhat, although i understand your pain still.
Cindi, your line about wondering what is next in your life hit the nail on the head...  I wonder that all of the time, what is next in my life.  How long will my husband live, and what will i do if he were gone.
It tears me up inside to think about it!!!  :(
My husband says he will go to rehab, but doesn't know how to get there. Doesn't want to loose his job, but if he does, he won't have his job anyway.
Geez, i've got two little girls pulling at me in both directions, it's almost impossible to post...
I will try to get on later tonight after everyone goes to sleep.
Thank you all so much for coming to my rescue!!! :)
I love you guys!
Lv Jenny

[jennyfla]

I'm sorry, i seem to be at lost for words when i comes to myself.  I full of words for others, but i don't know what to say to everyone...  I know i need to do something, and it's stupid to just sit her and act like it all doesn't exist and keep taking my 'numb' pills so i can go into my own little world and dissapear for a while.  I NEED to do something soon before it is too lack, but i feel i don't have the guts.  I'm afraid, and, although this life is hell, it feels easier 'to say here'.
Before my husband rehab 2.5 yrs ago, i went to a few alanon meetings and didn't feel comfortable there.  When i essorted my husband to rehab 2.5 yrs ago, i had credit cards to fall back on, so i used them to live for the time he was out of work.  His boss also gave him the 'all clear' to get help with insurance that he job would be back.  The manager is gone now, it would have to go through the big boss now, and i fear his job would be gone.  I don't make enough to support the kids and the mortgate, etc. if he were out of work.  Now, one thing out there, his sister offered to help back in december, she is a district attorney in PA ( I think i've mentioned her before), she is our only hope.  He needs to, or i will have to call her.  I'm so afraid though.  I'm scared to death about his addiction and my own.  i hate this, i'm in hell!!!!!!!
I'm gonna leave early from work today with my two daughters.  Have to run some errands...  trying to keep myself together without breaking into tears, but i'm ok.
Thank you all again, and i want to list everything you've all said piece by piece and comment and thank you all, but i'm having trouble reading the words without tears.  I have to stay focused today, so again, i'm whimping out!
Cindi, yes, i've heard the sadness is easy to see on my face, and i hate being like that because i really do love life... there is so much out there to enjoy and life, i feel like i'm in a great big box and can't get out!
Love you all!
Jenny

[cindi]

Thank goodness we heard from you.......I was really getting worried......God bless you and keep you dear....if you need me,,,,,you can get me at my aol acct...cin91860,,,,don't try the msn or hotmail.....at least till i get home for MSN...remember sweetie,,,,,one day at a time, one minute at a time...one big mitake we make.....we live in the future and in the past..stay in the day..I used to hat that phrase but now it makes soooo much sense...we are all here for you.....love ya   cin   and kiss those beautiful kids for me......

[cindi]

Ok,,,finally, Brighty and I had our lunch....and let me tell you all that she is as genuine, compassionate, loving, kind and everything else you though she would be and more....we looked at each other and knew in a flash who each other was....I felt like I had known her for a gazillion years....she treated me to lunch..we talked, laughed, shared, cried and then ate dessert...LOL and we must have been in Applebee's for more that 2 hours...and we didn't get kicked out....we did get pics of us together...and we also decided THOMAS>>>that our  hot forum  dudes are  more than enough for us....and our eyes will never stray  LOL  so,,party on hotties..LOL  she sends her love to all of you and she did also say that she will be back soon....and it is sooo cool   she talks just like she types.....she is absolutely delightful..just thought you might like to know about my lunch      love to all   cin

[Thomas]

thanks cin, for the report. It's so cool that you two got together and became friends "in the flesh." Thanks for letting us all know about her. I knew she'd be cool! Just like you, my dear friend, Cin!. Love you both. Hope someday we can all get together. What a great day that will be.

Love you both with every bone in my body,

Your Thomas