addicted oxycodone

[alreadybetter]

I don't have much time to elaborate right now but will later. I have been taking 6-7 oxycodone 30mg for the last 4 months, prior to that 60-10 Norco 10/325 for 18 months. I desperately want off, and I want to go cold turkey. I have Clonodine, Neurontin, Clonazepam- all to help me with withdrawal. I get mixed results when I ask online if it's safe to withdraw from opiates cold turkey. Can someone answer me? I am in otherwise good health with the exception of a bulging disc in my back which started this whole ugly mess. I have never used drugs in my life prior to this, nor have I been more than a social drinker. Please advise. I feel so desperate, and there are days that I wish I wasn't born. I have never been this afraid or ashamed. I want to begin immediately. Can someone give me their opinions on whether it is safe to stop abruptly while using the meds I listed above? I bought a blood pressure monitor as well.

[alreadybetter]

Neurontin has uncomfortable side effects for me too, and I don't believe it even works well. However, I've read several stories on how it helped with withdrawals. A couple people said they "sailed" thru withdrawals and they were on much higher doses than me ( currently 6-7 oxycodone 30mg daily). I find it hard to believe but see no reason for them to lie.

[asailorswife]

just wanted to chime in here and let you know that you're not alone in this. this site will truly help you get through all of this. keep posting!

[FourJays]

The whole "rebound pain" thing is commonly mentioned around here and there are many people, including me, who have experienced this exact thing happen once the meds were stopped.  It makes sense too; once you have been on something for so long, actual physical feelings could change but one may never know because the medication has it "numbed" or "masked".  I'm sure there are a lot of technical, medical words that would better describe this phenomena, but I know it CAN & DOES happen; it did to me :)

I am so glad to hear that you are really looking at the total picture here and have made the decision that you DO need to do this, but you DO have to be 100% ready.  You only want to do it once - so you want to do it right!  As soon as you are ready, we will be here to support and help you out with answers and encouragement.  Hopefully we will hear from you again soon -

Julie

[alreadybetter]

Thank you so very much, J. I feel anxious because I've never done this before and because I'm afraid of the pain I'll be left with, which caused my dr to prescribe this anyway. However, there is a highly reputable Pain Management Clinic in a medical school here in the states that says recent studies have indicated that pain medicine actually CAUSES pain, and that they are taking a second look at using it for cancer patients (except,of course, in the last stages of cancer where there is no hope). These studies strongly suggest that it is like "rebound" pain or rebound headaches. So, I'm hoping once I'm through this ugly process, that my pain will actaully be less than what I'm fearing. The truth is, I must not be ready OR I WOULD DO IT. Right? I'm making excuses as to why I can't do it right this minute. I'm trying though. And, I'm trying to get all my house in order before I do it. Just scared, I guess. You all here are wonderful. So kind, and so helpful. I am truly grateful.

[clean_in_ks]

We ALL fear w/drawals for sure.  We know we will have to feel crappy for awhile.....there's no way around it.  Are there ways to lessen the nasties of the experience?  Yes....and like you've said above, you have a full arsenal of meds to assist you in your w/d experience.  You've got it all covered and have all the meds I'm aware of to assist you at this point.  Readiing and learning about the other ways to build and support your body (nutritionally) as you go thru the w/d process, like checking out the Thomas Recipe, other people's posts on their choices of nutritional support and tips will also complete the preparation process for you.  Then....it will just be when you are ready.....you will be ready.....you'll KNOW you are ready.
  
I do have some experience with the drug, Neurotin (gabapentin) as I was on it for nerve damage/nerve pain while I was still taking pain pills.  I knew NONE of the w/drawal tips or meds that you already have and are aware of when I quit.  I was on gabapentin for the first 77 days but chose to get off it too, due to the side effects of that med for me.  I could not tell you if it helped with my w/drawal symptoms or not.....cause I was 55 days clean before I ever found this MedHelp forum or learned ANY of this information about w/drawing from narcotics.  It MAY have helped me.....???  Like I said, what did I know?  Pretty much nothing......just that my life was unmanageable, I was a mess, I was broken in every way.  It was simply TIME to get r done and I was ready.  (kind of a "do or die" moment for me)

The thinking "I need a drug to get off a drug" is just our drug seeking addict minds feeding our fear, imo.  Not that having some meds to ease w/drawal is not a good thing.  Might as well tap into that experience and knowledge if we have it when we begin the journey to getting clean and recovery.  And it sounds like you have that....so you're way ahead of where I was for sure.

In some ways....we can really obsess and create more fear if we know too much......so in retrospect.....I'm kinda glad I just did it.  Course, how else would I think about it? right?  It is what it is....and too many of us allow the fear to get too BIG and paralyze us.....which keeps us from doing the very best thing in all the world for ourselves......obtaining FREEDOM!!

I

[FourJays]

You are NOT crazy and you did not choose this to happen as toothfairie said.  It IS the right decision to get off the pills now; whether you quit cold or taper.  It sounds like you have the support of your husband and some time to be at home where you can comfortably go through this process.  

After reading through your last couple of posts I can tell that you are feeling very anxious about all of this (understandably so).  I am sure that you could handle the cold turkey quit - but, it really sounds like you have the perfect taper situation - extra pills and someone to hold them for you (your husband - would he do this?), some time off, etc.  It would take a bit of time but it may help lessen your withdrawal and anxieties about all of this as you can wean off slowly.  Please just think it through.

I also "get it" and understand fully if you chose to quit cold, now.  But if you do this you gotta flush those extra pills - they will be a constant threat if they are around.  If you do it this way be sure to take your Clonidine as prescribed; it helps BP but also helps with other w/d symptoms as well.  It sounds like you have done your research and have all of the detox "helpers" on hand.  If you have not already, look at the "Thomas Recipe" for additional remedies and suggestion on how/when to do things.  You can also post here any specific questions that come up as you go along.  If you start to feel that something isn't right or feel chest pains or anything worrisome - please call your dr or go to an er right away.  

Once you have decided and started either way, please post about how you are doing and feeling.  Please do not feel ashamed or over anxious about this . . . you are going to be fine.  We have all been there; no judgment here - ever.  You should be very proud - you are taking action to get your life back; for YOU and for your family.  

And about the Neurontin . . . not sure about that.  Hopefully someone will come along that can give you some information based on personal experience.

Just do it . . . .whatever works for you.  Good luck :)
Julie

[toothfairie]

I'm not familiar with it ....i've heard of it and some people here are on it...so they should chime in soon and give you more answers.....if you have no underlying health issues it can be done CT....Can you maybe talk to your doctor about it?  maybe he can help you with a plan?  

You are a good person and deserve a better life without pills....we have all been down this road...shame...wanting to stop....scared....not knowing where to turn....i was like that 4 mos ago....found this site thru google search and it has helped to save my life...literally...the people here are amazing with support and info...

.i was taking hydros off and on for YEARS and went CT and i am 53 years old with high BP and back pain....not saying you should go CT....but that's just my story.....my back pain is no worse than before...prolly a little better actually....just keep us updated...we are here for you

[alreadybetter]

Yes, they certainly do deserve better than what I've allowed myself to become. I truly want to just jump off Cold Turkey. Has anyone ever heard that Neurontin helps with withdrawal symptoms? I have an arsenal to help me: Clonazepam, Clonodine, Ambien, meds for Restless Leg, Neurontin, and I'm still scared! What a disaster I am. I just am so sick of hating myself. I thank all of you who have been kind enough to answer me. I appreciate it.

[toothfairie]

Just remember that addiction is a disease!  no one chose this life...and we are from all walks of life.....physically and mentally both it is tough to quit but you have to make your mind up you want this bad enough....if you're not ready yet...then you're not ready.....but just remember it only gets worse...it's dangerous and can only lead to more bad things....the shame will go away once you are filled with the knowledge that you are stopping the pills and life will get better....we are all ashamed at first....believe me....i was and to some degree still am....but it DOES get better...i'm very proud of my decision to get off pills....and you will be too when that time comes!  it's such a relief not having to count,  take pills all day just to exist or get thru the next event or function at work...just let us know when you are ready and we can help you thru the WDs....honestly...it can be done...either CT or taper...that's a personal choice....but do it for YOU first and your family.  They deserve a healthy and happy mom and wife.  Good luck and keep posting when you need support!  

[alreadybetter]

I am so desperate and so afraid. I already feel as if I am dying. These oxy's are so different from Norco-the oxys create anxiety in me that I never felt with Norco, perhaps because I know they are so much stronger and dangerous. I am so ashamed, let me repeat, ashamed. I hate myself for letting this happen. I am a masters degreed professional who fortunately is a stay at home mom now, so I have the days to stay in bed to detox and the nights, my husband will help me. All i have to do is pick up my child from school. I know I need to quit pronto but can't summon the courage to go through it. I have plenty of both oxy and Norco to do a taper, but for some reason my mind won't make the decision to do it. I feel numb as if I've lost my mind, my sanity, my faith in God-I cry out to Him for help and I feel as if I get no answer. I'm in so much pain on so many levels, spiritually, emotionally, physically and filled with fear that the very worst thing will happen. I watch the news and am convinced that the world is coming to an end. I CANNOT believe that I've allowed this to happen to myself and hate myself for the selfishness of continuing to take this poison. I truly feel that opiates are demonic. I feel crazy, and I never was before.

[FourJays]

Hello . . . . welcome and congrats on the decision to quit the pills - best one you ever made!  I also did a cold turkey from a 15 year pill habit at doses higher than what you are on.  This is just what worked for ME - I tried to taper many times to no avail.  If the pills were around I would take them - period.  I am 50 and in good health other than back issues.  Had I not done the c/t I don't know if I would have ever been able to get clean; this was the only way for ME.

That said, a taper is still the safer option if you can do it.  Have you tried it or talked to your doctor about it?  There is no reason to feel ashamed or afraid; you surely did not chose to end up in this situation.  I would think that your doctor would be willing to help you map out a taper plan.

Whichever you decide, toothfarie gave you great info on the Thomas Recipe and the suggestion to get your doctor involved even if you do choose the c/t.  It sounds like you have lots of the ingredients/remedies all ready.  Either way you go, it will likely be rough both physically and emotionally.  But - it's all temporary and it will get better.  And keep posting here with questions - lots of people with lots of experience that can help you through the ups and downs along the way.  Good luck!  

[toothfairie]

hi and welcome!  just from MY experience...i was taking 12 or so hydros a day for a few years.....i went CT and i am 53 years old....with high blood pressure....but i'm not a doctor i'm just telling my experience...others here have gone CT as well....some do a taper plan but for me, i knew if pills were here i would take more than a taper.  So I just jumped and went CT...flushed all the pills I had and canceled the refill.  It can be done if you are in good health....just check out the Thomas recipe at the bottom of the page here...it has some great stuff in it to help you with WDs....and we are here to help you as well...also, do you have a doctor who can help you?  that might be an option as well...just to keep you monitored if you get scared of a symptom etc....it's rough but it's doable and so worth it in the end to be free of the pills!  good luck and keep us posted on how you are feeling!