Hello! i've been on methadone for 12 years .On tues.feb,17, 2003 i took my last 3mg dose(liquid).prior to that date i have been having trouble sleeping for about two weeks. i have been reducing my dose over the last 16 months from 80 mgs daily.I am not afraid of the withdrawl but do not truly know what to except.the program i was on was about keeping people addicted not helping you get mentally or physically well.i.e(money).Can
anyone give me some additional information. Thanks alot.
The easiest way off of methadone is by using subutex. It is now widely available and you will have no trouble finding someone who will sell you on the a program. It is expensive even compared to methadone. I think that 3-6 months on subutex will save you a lot of miserable days and nights. I kicked a 100mg a day methadone habit cold 25 years ago. It is something I would never do again. It is my understanding that even a slow taper with methadone is difficult. You have reason to be proud.
At least you will be free of the never ending leash that is the methadone program. The more I learn the more I realize that the methadone program (not the drug itself) is a huge, dehumanzing scam. The system is set up to encourage failure and relaps. It is a system of never ending probation that not even the worst criminal, murderers and even child molesters are subject. No one is more heavily "monitored" than the methadone patient. Not to mention the never ending "councelling" you are required to under go by mindless 12 step robots. Regardless of individual wants or needs. I could go on and on about these self serving bureaucratic assholes. Just thinking about it pisses me off. No one is more in need of a patient advococy board than the recoving addict.
You do have much to be proud of. I am a methadone patient and the only thing I have to do is pay and go and get my dose every day. I am not required to do anything else. It is a private clinic and I will go less and less over time due to takehomes. I am a chronic pain patient and this is what I had to do in order to take pain medication. I am sure if it was a state clinic, it would be different. But, I am a different situation as well. Methadone is very strictly monitored. I do know there are bad clinics out there as well as good ones. Some people have to go to multiple meetings at the clinic a week. Kind of hard for them to keep employment. At my clinic, medicaid patients have to go to meetings. Some people also don't have the luxury to pick and choose their clinic. Subutex and Suboxone will definitely take a big population away from the clinics.....rightfully so. It was a long time coming.
If you have gone from 65mg down to 5mg. a day then you are doing great!! If I were you I would stick with that 5mg. dose for a week or two before walking off the clinic, just to make sure. Sometimes it sneaks up on you if you have been detoxing too fast. I have had to detox from meth several times for reasons beyond my control...lol When ya get to the Penn. they are not very sympathetic to us. I was detoxed from 120mg. to 0mg. in two days. Not alot of fun. I was a maniac for well over a month due to back aches, cramps.. I'm sure you know all of the symptoms. You are doing really well, everytime I have tried to detox voluntarily over time I always end up telling them to take my dose back up to the top. I have been on this particular clinic for ten years and I wish I could get off of it. My life is flying by and I haven't really noticed. I'm 41 yrs old and the clinic I go to is a private program, "gas&go", as long as you pay the 80 bucks a week they try to talk ya into never getting off of meth. But, ya miss a couple of payments and they will put my ass off quick...lol Anyway congrats and I wish ya the best of luck!! I hope you are able to continue to stay clean, there are not allot of success stories on the clinics I have been on over the past 23 years so I always like to see someone beat it. I will probably die on this ****. Take care.
It wasn't easy coming down but I did it very slowly. 1 mg every other week!! It took some time but it worked. The first time that I had tried to come down 5mg at a time and it was too fast. When I got to 15 mg I was very sick. This time I was ok until I got to 6-7mg. Then I started feeling uncomfortable. So I would stay on it for awhile to adjust. Since this is in liquid form they will let you get to 2mg before you are finished. So I have 3mg left to go. Very anxious about it but I am determined to see this through. My life is so different now and I just want out of the whole scene. I pray and hope that I can make it.
Thanks to both of you for your support and understanding.
Chezz: Since I was only going in once a week for 5 minutes there isn't much to change as far as that goes. Over the past 15 years my life-style, employment, friends and activities have changed dramatically. I have a great office job, bought a house and got engaged. So I have plenty to keep me occupied. Most of all right now the change in me is that I am more motivated to get off. I want it pretty badly. And that is helping me get through this. Thanks again.
Bride of chucky: It is good to hear a success story from rapid detox. I am happy to hear that you are doing well with it. I hear that it is expensive!! and risky. I think I would have been afraid to try it. I hope that all stays well with your recovery.
Stay at 5mg for at leat 2 weeks. I came off too fast and it was horrid but I got through it and boy did it feel good to CUT THE CORD!
that was 6 yrs ago....now i'm addicted to Oxys
think about a plan for dealing with WHY you b=were on drugs in the first place.
That was my downfall=no plan.
All the best, Robyn
I am on day two of my withdrawls from Darvocet. It is absolutely horrible. I've been taking pain killers with opiates for years, usually to take concurrently with the med's I am given for my Rheumatoid Arthritis. What is most puzzling to me, is that after surgery a few years ago I was taking liquid morphine for about 3 months, and suffered nothing akin to the withdrawls I am having now from Darvocet! Anyone else familiar with this dichotomy? Thanks, suffering in NC, tess.
You will make it. You have the right attitude. Just continue to keep positive and look forward to life after the dragon. Start getting a plan in place now though to take up the time spent on getting your meds and stuff before.
I can't stress that enough. When you are totally off it, you really need to change you whole life. Since the time while you were on it, it changed YOU. YOU need to change back now.
As you know it is a long and arduous. Although, if you have a plan in place to take up that spare time, something to take away from the time of the cravings, you will make it.
You have just got to want to do it more than you want to go back to it. It has to come from within. And from within you will heal.
Time is the tale of all truths...you will make it...
I was on 90mg of methadone for 10 years a few months ago i took myself down to 30mg 4 weeks ago i done a rapid detox and went on naltrexone. 22 days on i feel absolutley great! With methadone you have to have the strenght to get thru the withdeawls and have a very positive attitude and lots of supportive family and friends. I thought i would NEVER get away from that ****! I now see the light at the end of the tunnel.
yes rapid detox is expensive, but i felt it was the only way i would get away from the demon methadone once and for all! I was absolutley petrified and had no idea how i would feel but only 3 wks on it was worth the money and the w/d and pain!
yes rapid detox is expensive, but i felt it was the only way i would get away from the demon methadone once and for all! I was absolutley petrified and had no idea how i would feel but only 3 wks on it was worth the money and the w/d and pain!
Just wanted to pop in and tell you that you are really doing great! You've come a long way and seem very dedicated to reclaim your life from that miserable clinic environment.
Everyone responds differently when at certain levels coming off Methadone. For me, I made the mistake of comparing my intake level for years versus just 3mg then 2mgs. The way I figured it is that the way I felt on as little as 2mgs was not too bad, I had it made. While there was fatigue, weakness and aches, it was really no big deal. About 24 hours after my last dose of Methadone is when full on detox hit me. Its tough, but VERY doable.
One thing I know of that will get you through the rough spots, ease the detox feelings, lift your spirits and provide you the strength to carry on your fight is right here. There are so many people in here that lift each other up and carry them over the rough spots. It is nothing short of miraculous. The only way to really understand the power that is available to you here is to be the recipient of this free gift.
After over 16 years of Methadone bondage, today is 120 days.
When I received help here, I felt that I needed to give back. Help if I can. In this light, I offer the three most important things that helped me.
1. You've already found this place. Keep coming back.
2. There is hope and it lives in you.
3. A promise. The other side of addiction is well worth the journey. Start walking.
All the best to you. I wish you hope, happiness and a new found joy in life.
You always have something worthwhile to say. Many times I have thought of you and your story,and I have always thought if you could do it so can I. It has been a long time for you and I am so very proud of you, it does bring me hope that things will get better. The only thing that worries me right now is your sentence that said when you got to nothing the full detox hit you! I remember you saying that to me in another thread awhile back and it scares me to think that maybe I will not be able to handle it!!
Forgot to add this in my upper post... If you can give me any suggestions on how you made it through after you hit zero, I would appreciate it. I did get some valium to help with the insomnia and anxiety. Hopefully that will be enough to get me through (of course not without the help of all my friends here)
I don't even know where to start. Last year (February, 2002), I was checked into a rehab for detox off of painkillers (oxycontin - 280 mgs/day). They treated me with methadone. (25mg, 3 days later 20mg, and so on until I was down to 2.5mg and released). The cravings were so bad when I got out. WHAT I WILL TELL YOU NEXT WAS THE BEGINNING OF THE END). I let what was a "friend" that I met in the program stay with me until she had enough money to get back on her feet again by staying with me and working. It got so bad for both of us that (her drug was heroin) she "introduced" me to the life of heroin. At first I snorted it, then I ended up shooting it. Finally, I had enough, and it was suggested to me to try to get into a Methadone Maintenance Program, which I did in March of last year (2002). I started with 30mg and am now (a year later) on 175mg. This was the worst mistake I have ever made in my life. Nobody told me it was the worst/hardest drug to detox from. I feel like I have a ball and chain around my ankle. What's worse is that my insurance doesn't cover it, so I have to drive 60 miles round trip 4 days a week (I have 3 take homes - it's taken me this long to have 4 clean urines) and pay $420/month. There are so many problems this has caused. Family trust, my relationship with my husband (we have money problems already, so I'm making it 10 times worse because of what I have to pay for this "poison clinic". Ofcourse they let me keep going up because compared to what methadone costs them, they don't want to lose us "self-payers". It's a privately owned clinic. Anyways, alot of IMPORTANT facts were not explained to me before I got into this nightmare. I finally got the guts up to tell my mother. She has spoken with my counselor and now thinks this is the best move I ever made, thanks to what bullshit he told her. Now I am plain SCARED SHITLESS. I started tapering down 5-7 mgs a week, and will continue, until it get uncomfortable. I once had to go through an administrative tapering because I didn't have the money to pay them one week. I just couldn't come up with it. I got down to 50 mgs, and I was SO SICK. I finally borrowed the money and then they were more than happy to get me back up as fast as they could.
I guess what I'm getting to (SO SORRY this is SO LONG), is that I want to taper completely and get off of this ****. But I'm scared to death. I know how sick I will be. I've heard horror stories that it takes 6 months to detox completely. And it's another year before you feel like you did before you started this vicious cycle................... Last week I did EXTENIVE research on going under anesthesia to detox. I've heard that is very dangerous. I called the clinic. The people there were so nice. A nurse told me basically everything about the procedure. She told me the the Dr. would even call me if I wanted to speak with him about it. Problem is, I don't have $6,500. Who does? Obviously some people. I would almost give me soul to get it done and be off of this ****. I am so scared and depressed right now. All I can think about is that I want my life back. Since last year I haven't shot up once, I quit drinking, smoking pot and taking painkillers. But this one thing is worse than all of those put together. I just don't know what to do. I wish there was a way I could detox at home and it wouldn't take so long. I am so lost............
Can anyone out there help me before it's too late?
First I want to say that you came to the right place for help, there are many out there who will be more than willing to help you in any way that they can. This is a great forum with wonderful people. One thing you have in your favor is that you were not on the meth for a long period of time. I was on for more than 15 years so it will take longer for it to get out of my system. If you come down slow you should be ok. I came down 5 millagrams at a time until I got to 30 millagrams then I went 1 millagram every other week. you need to go slower when you get down to the lower doses. I am now at 4 millagrams and not doing too bad. If you want to talk more about it you can email me.
Thank you Sharon, for getting back to my long "comment". I guess since i do not have the money for detox under anesthesia program (ProjectStraight), I will have to try to hang in there and taper. On of the scary things about that is "will I have the money to taper", since it will probably take over a year? I hope so. It takes as much money to stay in the methadone clinic per year as it does to do this under anesthesia procedure. I just wish I had the money, I would give almost anything to get off this poison. I feel like it is controlling my life, and me. It's a comfort to know other people care, so thanks again. I have so much I'd like to say, but there' truly not enough paper, if you know what I mean. I read above from someone that there was detox "recipe". I don't if it applied to Methadone, but I figure, from your information, that you're still detoxing at even 2 mg! That amazes me. After you are done with that, do you know all that facts, like how long it will take to feel somewhat "normal" again, what to do for withdrawals, that kinda stuff? One other thing I wanted to touch base on is that I have always had quite an irregular digestive system, as far as going to the bathroom (this is kind of embarrasing). But, my system is so f----- up now, it's pitiful. I have literally tried everything. Now the only thing that works for me is Colace and Ex-Lax Ultra. And, if I miss even one day of that medication, it will screw me up so bad. One time I did not have a BM for almost 2 weeks. I know how bad this is for your system, and this is also a very bad worry for me. Sorry so long again, thank you Sharon. You seem like a superior person. I wish I could meet you in person. What is your e-mail address? Please keep in touch. Reading these comments really does help.
Here again, I have a story that could also be very long. Both of my daughters were members of the poison clinic. It all started when....well my oldest daughter was in a very bad car wreck and during the recovery she discovered the good feelings of pain killers (mainly loritab) but really didn't continue taking them until later in her life. My children (by the way i have 4 kids, 2 girls, 28 and 22... and boys 27 and 21) lived a very hard childhood and the seams have been coming apart in the last few years and now I know why they have turned to everything from smoking pot and pills (most anything except needles and crack) to cover the hurt and pain they suffered.
Any way that takes me to my daughter that was in the wreck, several years went by and she basically done what she wanted to.
Then she got involved with a guy she fell for and a few months into their relationship found out she was pregnant and she had been taking loritab 7.5 or 10 what ever they come across. Quite a few maybe 10 to 15 a day. When I finally found out, the histerical mother, i went crazy.... she told me that someone had referred her to the methadone clinic, so we went and talked to them and they made it all sound well and good. They made it sound like if she didn't do this the dfacs office would take her baby away. So she started going to the clinic and trying to work everyday to and being pregnant and sick was really tough. The bad part was that this was to be temporary and after the baby was born she would be weaned off. NOTTTTT....instead they had her by a ball and chain. All to say, she started at 30 mg a day and was so sleepy she had to sleep before she left work most everyday. That did not matter to the clinic. They moved her on up to 45 and then 60 and then 80 and by the time she had my beautiful grandbaby she was on 100. So go figure.....and that is the only good thing I have to say about meth. My grandbaby Cali was born with no withdrawals and very healthy. A little underweight. but BEAUTIFUL. My daughter went to Florida Detox(rapid detox under anesthesia) and the doctor there said that was the hardest detox he had ever performed. They are wonderful and yes very expensive but worth it.
Now my other daughter is still a member of the poison clinic and I don't think she is ready to come off just yet but one day it will happen. I really think it is killing her and I am trying my best to figure a way to get her to a detox facility. She is on 110 mg a day and they got her on klonipin and geopan. she walks around like a zomby and throws up every day, with no energy, she does not work, so i have to help her all I can. I want her off asap.... but i am scared she will go back to taking pills, anything she can get her hands on. I have got to get them allll into a counseling program. none of them have insurance so , we have to do the best we can.
As for the girl that is pregnant, if you go to the clinic and start on methadone, it will help, but make it clear that you want to wean off as soon as you have your baby....
As for my boys that is another story i will tell later...
God Bless each and everyone of you out there that is taking any kind of drug. I would say that most addicts have pain and hurt to cover up and believe me i understand.
write me if you want ..e-mail ***@****
As i was reading sharonver's post, i thought of a cheaper way to ween off but, please be advised, it is not by any means a "maitenance program" and can be an awfull experience. I did not know this going in, but, as long as you do and have a family member or friend help you, it may work. If you have any records of chronic pain from any doctor-i.e.back problems, migrain headaches, etc. Chronic pain doctors are sprouting up like cold sores everywhere. Here in Fla. they are as bad as lawyers! I had a pretty bad experience with one but as far as money wise, they helped me and you don't have to go but once a month.
Now- before anyone runs out thinking this is the cool way to go, please read the rest of this before you gas up the ole family truckster...
I am a working, traveling drummer that after a couple of breaks in my right hand and having the med.s from that, plus, just likeing things that made me feel "happy",I became a 30 a day 10 mg.perc and vic user. After going to one detox facility and relapsing a week later, my doctor there almost freaken killed me with oxycotten (something i'd never tried till then)(he cut me off before i was finished with my "long taper program!)I went back into detox (a much cheaper one that made you feel right at home, if you lived in jail) they recomended methadone maitenence. I should have listened to the addicts! They said "don't go there".If you took the help out of that place and just left us addicts to talk, much more would have been done! Anyway, because of my travel, i couldn't go into a place every day, not to mention that just sounds like a bad scam/or as i've heard it mentioned here, the ball and chain..Like most other doctors office, they had heard of the classic rock group i was with then and were more than willing to "help".(you don't need to be in a band)I was completely honest with my doctor about my past and i told him i thought a low dose of methadone every day would help me be able to maintain and work. This freaken guy put me on 100mg.slow release morphine capsules!They were called something else amd i had no idea it was morphine till i read the pharmicy notes. They made me sick as hell and i just couldn't take them. (guess my tolorance was down at the time from the detox)anyway, the doctor then put me on methadone and he convinsed me that i needed to take a certion amount every 6 hours. i questioned this but, hes the doctor..I was sick with them as well as i was taking 4 to 6 every 6 hours. After a month, i was so hooked and sick all the time. Now if your job is to fly into the weekends shows, do what you love to do in front of thousands of people for 90 minutes, then fly back home and your to damn sick to do that, there's a big problem!! I quit the band and put all my energy into "getting better". Well, in 6 months, this guy prescribed me 3,800 10 mg. tabs! On my last visit (the 6th month)i told the doctor that i was in hell and wanted to cut way down and thought i could deal with a much less dose. I should have been tapering myself the whole time but, i guess by that time i was so hooked.
Don't know about you all, but, i was like a walking swimming pool with the sweat and was throwing up 4 to 6 times a day, just looked and felt like walking death.. This doctor had given his notice BEFORE my last visit, just didn't tell me. I called to schedule my next visit and was told the doctor was gone and the new one would not see me..oh yea, and to not call back! I was in Austin, TX looking for studio work at the time. (they would mail me a script one month and the next i would fly or drive back to FL to get that one. I decided that with my bad experiences with these people, that no matter how bad the pain, i would go it alone.(not such a good idea with that much in your system) For 5 months i was taking 250+ mgs per day,on the 6th month i was only taking 120 (give or take)per day. of course i was sicker on the 6th month. When i was cut c/t, the pain was pretty bad, but after the 3rd day i really thought i had licked it.With other opiates that i'd been on, 72 hours and the aches and pains went down pretty well. BUT! this is a whole other beast! Sometime during the afternoon of the third day, i started feeling very different. Turns out, i wasn't over the withdrawls, they just hadn't started yet!!I had no sleep for 16 straight days and couldn't stand to sit, lay, walk around, nothing. I was talking to God a whole lot!! The only thing that gave me any relief was sitting in a tub for as long as possible. I started going through "rages" and "surges". Couldn't go out of my studio apartment because i was just plain mad as hell! then my blood would turn from hot to freezing. My Mom was scared to death as she was in Florida and i couldn't hide the pain on the phone. It was as if the only thing i could do was stand and hop in a circle then get in the tub, then lift weights and box my punching bag. I scared myself because i had turned into a negitive thinking monster that was filled with pain and rage. i always read as much as possible on the internet and in books(although it was very hard to focus) hopeing to find some relief. I'm slowly trying to finish a book from an addicts point of view (i can't spell for **** but hope i can get help in that area)It got so bad in Austin that my mom came out and got me!I'm 37 for heavens sake. Guess at the end of the day, with drug dependancy and withdrawls, etc. doesn't matter the age, money status or what color skin you have. It will put you down fast and keep its thumb on you. Wish i had a happy ending to this..8 months later i still felt so bad and drained of spirit. The rages were gone but still can't sleep normal or even close and my body is just like a limp dishrag. Mentally, i've stepped out of the building. I am very thankfull that i was not on methadone for a longer period of time. That drug is so great if used properly. If you do go to a chronic pain doc, be wise, think ahead and stockpile your methadone. They don't have to know a damn thing about it.
I've been offered a great gig in L.A. but now i've got to beat another addiction...I became so desperate to feel "normal" that i started taking hydrocodone again and the guilt is incredible.
Do what ever works for you as long as it doesn't hurt others. I havn't found what works for me yet. I have not given up though.
I started taking methadone last August to come off of Heroin. I only got up to 75mg but I started getting my meds from a private doctor rather than the clinic. He gives me pills instead of liquid. I started taking myself down 10mg evry two weeks and I stopped at 15mg, because anything after that just helped me when I woke up, but progressively got worse during the day. So I have been on 15 mg of Methadone for the past 3 months and I just quit taking it 4 days ago. The worst has passed, but I still cannot really go anywhere because of lack of energy and I still get the sweats and chills. My back still aches along with my legs. How long will this last? Should I get back on 15mg and then get the liquid and come down slower? I hate feeling this way and I want to feel better. I have got to get out. I cannot stand having no energy and being stuck in the house. So would the other option that I mentioned be better than what I am doing now? How long will this last? Please someone help? THANKS!!!!
WOW Kevin-that's quite a story!! I have been on Meth for 15 years and I am hoping that my choice to come down so slow is going be be my salvation. I am not doing too bad right now but of course I am very worried about when I get to nothing!! One thing that may be in my corner is that I was never on more than 65 millagrams. Half of the time I was on 65mg.and then went down and the other half I was on 30mg. After a few years of 30mg. then I started the tapering to get where I am now- 4 mg.
3 mg. next week. I have heard from some people that it is when you get to zero mg. that the full withdrawals set in!! If I have any problems with it I have decided to get through that period with a month or so of buphenorphine. That will help I have heard. Good luck with your book Kevin.
It sounds to me like maybe you came down too fast. I only did 1 millagram at a time every other week!! You could shave your tablets and taper slower that way. Although it is easier to do with the liquid form. As far as how long it will take, it is different for everyone. Though I can't imagine that it would take you too too long because you were not on the med for that long. I was on for more than 15 years. That will make a difference. good luck.
Hey there all. I am a current chronic pain sufferer and have taken just about every pain killer made, with the exception of I believe it's called oxymorphone(it's a supository so nuf said there). I have never taken street drugs or even alcohol. I started my downward spiral about 6 years ago when I was diagnosed with a chronic pain syndrome affecting my joints. I started the usual percs(5mg) taking 1-2 every 4 hours. This of course lasted a very short time and was moved up to oxycontin. Began those at the 20mg twice a day. Changed jobs and insurance didn't pay much for them so doctor said methadone would be a cheap replacement that would work as well. I moved up to taking 30 10mg meths a day and was working in a dangerous car plant. They didn't even phase me in my everyday life. Then the bomb hit me. Moved out of town and went to a doctor in phone book. He told me the dose I was at was insane and there was no way he could even treat me unless I changed things. I told him to get me off them and it took forever. I would recommend that anyone thinking of going to methadone for a pain management program be very careful. The wd off it was worse than what I am going through now. I'm currently wd'ing from 240/day of OC, 80mg/day of liquid oxycodone, and taking 1mg at night xanax to help sleep, which with wd, doesn't help a bit at that dose. I feel like **** now but nothing like the wd from the methadone. Maybe it was just the dose I was at but the wd was 10 fold what I'm going through now. good luck and stay in touch.
The wd I went through was when I was taking about 25 of the 10mg methadones a day. That was my 1st "encounter" with withdrawl and I really thought I was going to die. After that my family Dr. tapered me off at the rate of 1 pill per day less dropped every week. That worked to the point I went completly off of them. Wish I could say I was med free but as I have posted here somewhere, I am a mess again. Working on getting advise on tapering myself off OC and such. Hope this is answering what you asked. I'm probably not the best person to get advice from at this point but I will try to help however I can. Thanks,
I was feeling so isolated this morning and decided to try and find some advice on helping my body in reaching my ultimate goal of being Methadone free by May 13th (my 41'st) birthday. I am glad I found this site!
Like everyone else here an opiate (herion for me) addicition led me to methadone treatment many years ago. For the past 12 years I have been herion free. My life as an adult is full, I am very successful in my job, my children are growing up to be well adjusted adults (despite the challenges our family faced with two addicted parents), my marraige is still intact (24 years- he has been detoxing as well and asserts he is fine)- not too many people know that I am a Methadone Maintenance patient and have been for 12 years.
In September some law somewhere must have changed(does anyone know?), because I began hearing that Methadone clinics in my area would begin testing for pot. Until the testing was initiated in February I was a model patient, or at least considered so. I have used pot to relax and help me sleep, while enduring a slow detox (5mg a month, starting at 55 mg last year)- let me interject here that although I had signed a detox form in May of 2002 to have my dose reduced my clinic they had only reduced my dose 10mg over the past 12 months! (bastards really do want to keep you hooked, no doubt about it!)So I began detoxing myself (easier once dosage changed for liquid to pills).
I have been holding for the past 3 weeks at 10 mg and two days ago began taking only 5.
I have not been discharged or kicked out of my clinic- it was amusing to find out that 90% of the long term successful clients tested positive for THC when the first set of results rolled in a month ago! I have the option of returning to the clinic next Friday to pay my $110 and get another weeks fix, but I think that last Friday was it. I think I am done, I am tired of being treated like a criminal (although technically my pot use qualifies me as one), I am tired of urinating in front of strangers in bottles and I am very tired to talking to counselors who have no souls!
The worst part of this detox process is that I feel as though I an unable to experience joy anymore- I noticed that feeling at 10mg and now it is even more pronounced. The physical symptoms for me are archy legs, feeling anxious (reading everyone's posts actually made me accutely aware of my symptoms)and early waking (a Bendril before bed helps me to sleep). They are not quite as bad as I had anticipated, but I fear the last 5 mg drop a lot.
I wonder if anyone can tell me if depression is a symptom of withdrawl or an indicator of why I began sticking needles in my arms so many years ago?
Can any of the professionals out there suggest a way of finding psychiatric support from a doctor specializing in addiction? Over the years I have developed a deep seated mistrust for doctors of any type, as most addicts do. After watching the doctors physically tense up, close off their minds and hearts at the moment I confide what my history really is- I have given up any hope of having a regular doc for check ups and the like. But wonder if psychiatric treatment is something to consider.
To everyone else- especially you Sharon=- thanks so much for sharing your hopes and experiences via this forum. It is good to know I am not the only one suffering through the withdrawl of this "miracle treatment" that I was sold so many years (and trips to the clinic). I will continue to post as my future unfolds. If there are any couples out there that have done this together I'd love to hear about your oddessy.
Somebody help me, I missed my dose today and my muscles feel like they are expanding and contracting and it hurts like hell. I have missed a dose before with no problem, Why am I gettins sick so fast, I have chills, sweats, painful muscle spasms. What can I do to feel better till the clinic opens at 6?
Your story sounds so familiar, very much like my own. But you sound like you have the motivation to see this through. I wish and hope that all goes smoothly for you, you know as well as I do that it is a long, difficult and painful struggle, but the road to recovery is not that far away!!!
Take a long, hot & relaxing bath. (hot tub if you have one) Always helps me when I feel that way. For some reason, some days are worse than others. Many things in our bodies can trigger these symptoms, hormones,lack of sleep, vitamins, water, stress, I could go on & on... It will get better.
Thanks for the words of encouragement Sharon. I went back up to 7mg after the third day- somehow I have to find a way to do this a still function (kids, job, husband). I will try to even out for a day or two and go back down. I think what I miss most is sleeping until the alarm goes off. This early waking thing is for the birds, although it does give me some quiet time in the morning for thinking and praying.
Does anyone know how long it takes for the meth to stabilize after a dose is adjusted? I read one of the docs comments that said there is little physiological benifit to a dose of 5 mg of under. My body seems to be confirming that.
Well I made my choice and will stick to it, no matter how long it takes.
How's it going with you Sharon?
Has anyone out there tried Valerian and/or Skullcap to help with the withdrawl symptoms? The Tylenol PM helps me get to sleep but it would be so nice to not be up with the dawn everyday! I remember reading there was an Asian doctor several years back doing work on a natural elixir that would help with opiate withdrawls- anyone out there familiar with that guy (I can't remember his name)?
Thanks for the thought Bill- but that would just be way too far back to fall for me. I could no easier go back to heroin than I could be 21 again!
I decided to maintain @ 7 for 5 days and then try to drop to 5 again. The early waking thing was really starting to get to me, to say nothing of the chills/hot flashes, achy legs and feeling I like I could jump out of my skin.
Today was the last day that I could return to my clinic and be medicated. Today is the the third day I missed and I will be discharged (even though I only went in once a week). It is a strange new world out here!
The depression seems to be lifting a bit- I feel somewhat empowered by finally making a choice that everyday for 12 years, I could not. I feel like this is truly an expression of who I wish to be and it seems like the right choice. We'll see how I feel in a couple of weeks when the stash starts running dry!
The main reason why someone would go to a methadone maintenance program is to get away from a dangerous street drug like HEROIN!
After all of the success of staying off of this street drug thru the MMT program why would someone want to go back to what ruined their life in the first place!!! IMO very bad advise, I would never suggest that to anyone as an alternative.!! Prescription pills, bup., meth, meds like that at least you know what you are putting into your body, with street heroin you never know!!!! You could be shooting or snorting arsenic etc. for all you know. There are a lot safer ways to detox. And Maintenance has saved so many lives, some may have to stay on indefinitely for various reasons and some may be able to successfully taper (slowly) and go back to their lives. I wish everyone success in whichever way they choose.
Hey Guys- Bsills was only trying to help. I know many people who would rather kick dope than kick meth- let's face it with dope you only go through a bad couple of weeks, the meth is a bad couple of months!
I've was out there shooting whatever I could find- have the holes in my skin when someone was cutting the dope with meat tenderizer (good dope, bad sores). But that was 12 years ago and I had no choice but to get on meth if I wanted to survive and take care of my family.
This meth detox for me is a choice- and that in itself makes the suffering bearable. I think that as we change as human beings we learn to make different choices. For the first time in 12 years, I chose not to go to the clinic. It feels good (even though I feel like ****).
Things are not too bad so far. In 2 more days I will go to my last dose of 2 millagrams!!! I will probably stay on that for a couple of weeks and then I will be off!!! I am going to Florida the first week of May to close up our condo for the summer so I am hoping I will be off and that I will not be feeling too badly.
At least I will have the warm sun and pool etc. to try and ease some of the discomfort. Wish me luck... How are things going with you? I hope that you are doing well, remember anytime you want to talk or share ideas, I'll be there for ya...
Look I know this sounds crazy but can it be done.....safely? I stoped using heroin a couple years ago and since then I've been on methadone. I don't really know the universal mg's that the clinics start everyone out at, but I started at 30. I progressively increased my dosage untill I felt comfortable at around 100, on occasion 110 (when I was feel'n' frisky). I have succesfully in the two years I have been on methadone maintenance decreased my dose to 45 mg's. How hard would it be to quit cold banana? Well with the help of some thc, tons of vitamins, Tylenol PM's, and veggie drinks. My fear is just staying hydrated. I'm 26 and Methadone is no longer an option. If anyone has detoxed from methadone and wouldn't mind please, please send me an e-mail with any suggestions, I don't really check the message board that often. ***@****
Thanx I need all the help and prayers I can get!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am almost off and I was on for more than 15 years!! It can be done, just has to be done slowly and you have to have the motivation, that is very crucial because if you are not ready mentally and emotionally it will be almost impossible to deal with the physical withdrawals. Which by the way from my experience isn't too bad if you detox (taper) very very slow. I did 1 mg. every other week after I got to 30 mg. When your dose is higher than 30 mg. you can probably do 5 mg. Of course it depends on the person, every one handles it differently.
I have been on pain killers foe at least 12 years. A rollercoaeter ,for sure. Most of my pain is fibromyalgia. But some is arthritis and nerve damage. To make a long story short-I was given METHADONE for pain about two years ago.m It works very well-BUT DON'T RUN OUT!!!I did for the first time last summer,and I thought I was going to die . I made it through that one until I could get some more. It happened again a couple months later. I ended up in the emergency room.When I told my general practicioner that I thought it was methadone withdrawl-she did'nt believe me.She treated me for gallblader and sent me home.I get my methadone from my pain specialist, by the way.
Does anyone die from methadone withdrawl? Does anyone get a terrible taste in their mouth?(during withdrawl) My last withdrawl was hell on earth. I ended up in the hosoital. Help!!!I take methadone for pain-but sometime run out before script is due. Can you die?
Thankyou for your input. I am new to this sight-and to message boards- so bear with me. You are right about physicians not going through withdrawl,ever! That's why mine didn't recognize it at all-even after I told her, she did not believe me.(THAT'S SCAREY)I ALGREE ABOUT YOUR ADVICE ALSO. It's up to me wheather or not I want to go through this again.I always end up in the hospital, cause I dehydrate so much. And I get short of breath(almost hyperventilate).It's usually about the fourth day without sleep that I go down. And does anyone get an awful,horrible taste in their mouth?I throw up to the point of know return. I truley do suffer from pain- but I think I need a support group to help me with the pills. Any on line? Thanks again for the response.
Don't worry, unless you have underlying physical problems you will not die from withdrawal, you may feel like it, but you won't. Especially from 30 mg. that dose is not that high. If you were on a very high dose its possible you could go into seizures from cold turkey withdrawal. Do you take your med in pill form or liquid? I would suggest trying to stash away a small amount of med for emergencies like that. On some days when you are not feeling too badly try taking a lesser amount and save the amount that you didn't take for those times that you run out. Many physicians have no clue what its like to experience withdrawals, if they knew they would be much more compassionate to the patient.
First of all, sorry to those of you to which this message is a repeat... But anyway, hi, my name is Steve. In addition to smoking marijuana straight for about ten or so years (including currently), a friend of mine had been on methadone for about 5 years, most recently taking 25 mg for at least 4-5 months... He had also sporatically done heroin (the original drug that got him into this mess) throughout these 5 years... Then, he got arrested & was forced to detox cold turkey on the floor of a jail cell for 3 days... Once he got out, he decided he might as well "go for the gold", & just go cold turkey to quit opiates forever.... Hats off to the man, because it's now been about 50 days since he's ingested opiates. His problem, however, is that he says he hasn't really slept in 50 days! He says he'll close his eyes, then open them 2 hours later, but no dreaming at all for the whole 50 days! He calls it "resting his eyelids". Anyway, despite being in pretty good spirits, he says it's kind of driving him nuts...I fear he may lose his will because he'll decide that noone could live like that... I'm hoping someone out there has some good advice, or can at least give him (through me) some kind of idea on how long this will go on until some sleep-normalcy will return, at least so he can have something to look forward to! If you know any info which might educate me on this subject/remedies/places on the internet I could look into/whatever else you think might help my friend out, I'd really appreciate it... He's such a cool guy, & I think he's damn close to beating this "dragon", as the forum puts it... I hope all of you can do the same one day... I'd tell you that "you can do it" but I've only quit cigarettes, so in a way I have no business saying so... Anyway, very very good luck, stay strong, remember Jesus's ordeal, & if you think you can help out my friend, I'd really appreciate it.
I can't tell you why he can't sleep- but I definitley can believe it.I think I'VE heard the word tweaking, or something likE that. Anyway, everytime I have gone into withdrawl from methadone, I don't sleep at all-and then when I finially end up in the emergecy room(as I said earliier-I ALWAYS DO!!)I beg them for sleep.The last time my doctor finially believed that I hadn't slept at all in five days. So they gave me a shot of valium. I lasted for an hour.(wide awake again) IT'S SO SCAREY!!My doctor is scarey-because she is in denial that this is withdrawl. I live in a small town,so doctors are not plentiful. I am 200 miles from any larg hospital.I don't know how your friend went through this in jail. It had to be hell on earth.BUT HE HAS TO SLEEP!! Or he will lose his mind.And just a small dose of valium will not do it.I
I agree, it is not the best suggestion, but some people such as I have no recourses, no job, no insurance, and I can honestly say that this is the place drugs, and bad choices have put me, I have worked, and been independant all my life , and suddenly I find myslef with no place to go that I am welcomed, I cant affrd th e clinic anymore, have no ride,and I am living in house with my name on but that I gave to ex in divorce many years ago, only because I have no where else to go, he dosent want me here, and I dont want to be here, methadone is the fing devil, I wish I had stuck with detoxing myself off of fentnyl 3 years ago, but no today i am facing detoxing with no help at all no meds no money from methadone, and i have had to miss a few days at a time due to lack of money and been in withdrawal, and I know, I think I will surely die, no one to even have sympathy or hold my hand, and we all know that this wuld be at least some help, I am almost 50, and worried that this will kill me, just pray for me and I am not religious, but at this point I need any, and everything..melanie ***@****
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