Aa
Mom of four with no one to turn to
I have been taking norco 10's for over a year now. At first I was taking them for my migraines, but then I noticed that I was taking more and more. I have had a lot of dramatic things happen to me in the past three years, first my mom died on my birthday and then 6 months later my dad went to prison, Then two years later my brother was killed. I noticed that I would take more and more to numb myself from the pain and grief I was having, and using them so I could get through my day to day life. I was taking up to 15 a day and have started to try and wheen myself off, if I don't take any I start to feel horrible, sweats, diarrhea, no energy and my husband has no compassion, he doesn't know that I take them, no one knows. I feel like I can't tell anyone, and I have no support to stop. I want to stop taking these soo badly. I wanna be able to get up in the morning and not think about how many pills I have. I wanna be able to get up and take care of my kids and enjoy life! My question is, how long is this hell going to last and what can I do to make it easier on me and my family, I am a stay at home mom with 2 year old twins a 5 year old And a 6 year old that has cancer, so it's not like I can lay in bed for three or four days. Please help I don't have any support and want this more then anything.
Yep--me too. I was addicted to demerol--morphine-whatever i could get my hands on (I WAS a nurse in a hospital) got fired and lost my license from stealing. Clean for 1 year--then on vicoden--that you can buy off the internet--got caught on that too-my credit card was up to $5,000.Got off of that for 6 months or so--now on tramadol-its cheaper, and helps me feel "normal". I had a siezure 2x from it-one 2 years ago and one last december. After the last one-my husband said he will kick me out if i start again--my kids will disown me.So here I go again!! I am the same as you--I hate it but i can not function without it--i have tried!
Uh yeah I do or obviously I wouldn't be posting this, I dont know why you would feel the need to ask that.
My heart reallt goes out to you- you've been through so much in the last few years. And I cannot imagine how hard it is to deal with having a child with a serious illness. You obviously have a lot of strength to be able to cope with all that is going on. I understand how it feels to be in great emotional pain and just want to numb it so you can feel better. My kids father OD'd almost 10 years ago- I had been clean for many years, but I ended up getting hooked on pills after that. I was a heroin addict before I had my kids and swore I'd never get back into that again, but once I started taking the pills, the relief was so great that I couldn't stop. I felt like I could be a "normal" mom when I had my pills, I felt happy and had energy and wanted to cook and clean and all the stuff us women are supposed to do. But then, just like you, I realized that I couldn't go a day without using.
I definitely agree with Vicki- I think you should tell your husband. You are going to need support, because lots of times the physical withdrawal is only part of the agony of getting clean. For me, the thing that kept me from being able to kick was the depression I would feel whenever I wasn't high. It was just this overwhelming feeling of despair and terror and guilt for all I had done wrong, and of course memories of my kids dad would just devastate me. It was like I hadn't dealt with the pain, so it came back and kicked my @ss ten times as hard as it would have at the time of his death. So be prepared for the emotional rollercoaster too. That's where it really helps to have someone to talk to. Of course this forum will help, but you need more. I would advise calling a drug treatment center and seeing a counselor. I understand you not wanting to go into detox because of your kids- I didn't want to either. I ended up getting on methadone and I'm still on it. A few years ago, I would've reccomended you trying to get on methadone too. But now, I really urge you NOT to- I have wished a thousand times that I had taken the time and gathered up the courage to get completely clean. Methadone is a LAST RESORT. I don't want to give the impression that because it's what I did, I think it's what you should do too.
You have taken the first step to getting help- it's so hard to reach out and tell someone you're addicted to drugs. It sounds like you're like me, kind of a "closet addict"- you want to raise your kids right and be respectable and that makes coming out and getting help that much harder. But I promise you will not be sorry- I don't know how your husband will react, but I know that if you contact a good treatment facility, the support will help you feel much safer. You can do this, I can feel in the way you wrote that you are truly ready to stop.
I definitely agree with Vicki- I think you should tell your husband. You are going to need support, because lots of times the physical withdrawal is only part of the agony of getting clean. For me, the thing that kept me from being able to kick was the depression I would feel whenever I wasn't high. It was just this overwhelming feeling of despair and terror and guilt for all I had done wrong, and of course memories of my kids dad would just devastate me. It was like I hadn't dealt with the pain, so it came back and kicked my @ss ten times as hard as it would have at the time of his death. So be prepared for the emotional rollercoaster too. That's where it really helps to have someone to talk to. Of course this forum will help, but you need more. I would advise calling a drug treatment center and seeing a counselor. I understand you not wanting to go into detox because of your kids- I didn't want to either. I ended up getting on methadone and I'm still on it. A few years ago, I would've reccomended you trying to get on methadone too. But now, I really urge you NOT to- I have wished a thousand times that I had taken the time and gathered up the courage to get completely clean. Methadone is a LAST RESORT. I don't want to give the impression that because it's what I did, I think it's what you should do too.
You have taken the first step to getting help- it's so hard to reach out and tell someone you're addicted to drugs. It sounds like you're like me, kind of a "closet addict"- you want to raise your kids right and be respectable and that makes coming out and getting help that much harder. But I promise you will not be sorry- I don't know how your husband will react, but I know that if you contact a good treatment facility, the support will help you feel much safer. You can do this, I can feel in the way you wrote that you are truly ready to stop.
Okay...I know that it's what people do. They make threats because they think that will work. They think that the addict will just STOP the behavior. It doesn't ever work that way and at times has the opposite effect.
Do you really think he can take the kids? If that was so easy to do, all the Mothers on this forum wouldn't have their kids with them.
You don't have a lot of choices here...if you are very strong,you can taper but tapering will create withdrawal while you're still taking the pills. It's going to be hard to keep this a secret when you don't feel well...
Do you really think he can take the kids? If that was so easy to do, all the Mothers on this forum wouldn't have their kids with them.
You don't have a lot of choices here...if you are very strong,you can taper but tapering will create withdrawal while you're still taking the pills. It's going to be hard to keep this a secret when you don't feel well...
Welcome....Boy can I relate! I am 16.5 days sober and I had very similar habit....My wife is an very conservative RN and had no idea that I was using them like I was....I finally got to the point where the amount of acetometaphine from the 325 mg in each pill x 13-16 a day was putting me at the limit....but everyday! I tried detoxing under her nose and did quit a few times but usually only made it a week. I literally had to use again to function so she didn't notice....It was horrible trying to maintain around her and my daughter....Finally, I just came clean....I was scared to death because she has never taken a drink in her life, she literally has never tried anything bad and I did not know how she would take it. When I told her she was actually relieved.....she thought other things were going on and it was actually a relief to her and to me as well.....I then was able to detox in front of her and do what it took to stay comfortable and get through it.....So, in a long drawn out way you have got to tell your family.....Then, we can help you with vitmains, suppliments, and other home detox remedies to get you through withdrawal for the last time! Good luck and God bless!
I have told him in the past that I had a problem and he threatened to take the kids and leave me. So I know I can't tell him again. He won't understand and I am afraid of losing my kids.
Hi and welcome-
The first thing I will tell you is that you need to get rid of the secret. It's very difficult to stop without some kind of support. Tapering is fine but not many can do that. Cold turkey gets the job done but that will be hard for you...
Tell your husband. You're going to need his help. Plan on feeling awful for a week. You need to get someone to watch the children...
We can help you through all the symptoms so keep posting!
The first thing I will tell you is that you need to get rid of the secret. It's very difficult to stop without some kind of support. Tapering is fine but not many can do that. Cold turkey gets the job done but that will be hard for you...
Tell your husband. You're going to need his help. Plan on feeling awful for a week. You need to get someone to watch the children...
We can help you through all the symptoms so keep posting!
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