Aa
My Doctor ANgel, necessary meds?
this may get long so be warned, lol. I went to the doctor today for this asthma/bronchitis thing, but also because it was my last opportunity for an appt with him before my health insurance expires Jan 1st. I totally broke down in tears on him so bad, all the stress of everything came out and I told him how horrified I am of losing my insurance when I have so many things wrong with me and so many meds I need etc. This doctor, this angel, he whipped out his Rx pad and started writing so many medicines for me I couldnt believe it. He wants me to get them all filled asap while the insurance still covers it, and gave me multiple refills on most of them which I can now get at 4$ generic substitutes on SOME of them. The most important one he gave me was PROZAC! Thats the antidepressant I was on for years and the quit cold turkey months ago because of bad side effects. Well, we are tyring a lower dose this time and a medicine to help counteract the side effect if it returns again. Because I desperately need this anti depressant, I have been in a downward spiral, and the depression makes all your physical ailments much worse. So anyhow, he gave me that, ANd xanax! He was gonna make me go to a PSYCH consult for this because he has a new policy not to give out cotnrolled substances of any type without approval from appropriate specialist. Well since I couldnt afford a real shrink to get an opinion on this, he says he can tell I still need the xanax and he gave me another refill on that one. He also gave me like 12 boxes of albuterol inhaler solution for the nebulizer machine so i can do breathing treatments here at home daily for my asthma. He gave me antibiotics, NSAIDS, and even cough syrup for my kids!! I told him I was scared they would catch this cold of mine, so he wrote that out too in case they end up needing it. ANd then he said he got a letter from the pain clinic about me just the other day. A doctor wrote him saying he reviewed my last MRI films (instead of the written report) and that the PM doctor said he thought it was reasonable that I should be on Vicodin still in order to function somewhat without too much pain. I was really flabbergasted by this as I did not even bring this subject up. He said he knows Ive been battling addiction on these and asked what we should do? Ultimately he said, you can either learn to take these responsibly exactly as prescribed, or you end up running out and suffering horribly for 3 weeks every month, that is up to you. And with that he wrote me Rx for 90 Vics and said "Im doing this because I believe in you, that you will finally realize you HAVE to control yourself with these or else you will suffer along time before you get another script." I couldnt even believe it. So now what? I guess I try to do as he says. I am going to have to try my hardest to not gobble up pills. He did this for me because he knows when my insurance is gone, I cant go to ER when my discs start killing me in my back. He knows I will need it. So this will be a huge battle to control myself. I am going to give the bottle to my husband. Im supposed to take 3 Vics a day and thats it. Im going to give him those pills and tell him only let me have ONE , IF NEEDED. Not every day, no execptions.
what do you guys make of this? a bad mistake? This will still be a battle for me every day that I have to fight. Does it make me not clean still? I know I will always be an addict. The question is, can I control it? any input would be appreciated. (Im sorry this got so long, i warned you though, lol)
what do you guys make of this? a bad mistake? This will still be a battle for me every day that I have to fight. Does it make me not clean still? I know I will always be an addict. The question is, can I control it? any input would be appreciated. (Im sorry this got so long, i warned you though, lol)
addictedme- thank you.
trouble...sounds like your headed in the right direction, and i truly hope it works out for you. and hey, ya never know, once you get your depression in check, maybe you will find you dont need the pain meds like you originally thought, depression can sure do a number on ones mind, body and soul. GL to you...
trouble...sounds like your headed in the right direction, and i truly hope it works out for you. and hey, ya never know, once you get your depression in check, maybe you will find you dont need the pain meds like you originally thought, depression can sure do a number on ones mind, body and soul. GL to you...
Everyone thank you so much for all your input. I did alot of deep thinking last night, and even busted out a large empty spiral notebook and titled page one " The GamePlan for 2008" and proceeded to write one page at a time my plan for improving my life, my family's life this year, one step at a time. I did an incredible outline and also journaled in it too. I am entirely devoted to fixing my life, starting now. Stopping my addictions, treating my depression, improving my relationship with family, prepare my oldest son for kindergarten this year, etc. I outlined how I propose to do all these things including taking tons of vitamins, regular exercise and healthier diet. I talked to my husband, and he is going to keep my pain meds under lock and key and only give to me if I am in an acute state of pain. The rest of the time I am going to just use Motrin 800, Flexeril and regular Tylenol. I also ordered a book online about addiction and recovery and am looking for a couple others to get too.
I understand that I cannot continue the way I have been. I have to find that in between place where I can balance pain management without addiction. Very hard but can be done. I also know I cannot stay on this FLATLINED COURSE i've been stuck on forever. This is the time to get off my *** and fix my life, not jsut for myself but for my children and husband too.
So I am looking forward to this new year coming with its many many changes and I am determined to take it on and accomplish my goals. I am going to stay posting here no matter what, I love you people, you are such a great support system. And I know that I will always be an addict and can never let myself forget that.
I think once I get the anti depressants worked into my system after a couple weeks or so, things are going to improve for me so much. I know my deprssion is actually my worst demon right now. I wish I had never gone off them in the first place many months ago. I guess I thought I could just go on without them and be OK. Hah!
ok thats enough babbling from me for now. Thanks for listening you guys.
I understand that I cannot continue the way I have been. I have to find that in between place where I can balance pain management without addiction. Very hard but can be done. I also know I cannot stay on this FLATLINED COURSE i've been stuck on forever. This is the time to get off my *** and fix my life, not jsut for myself but for my children and husband too.
So I am looking forward to this new year coming with its many many changes and I am determined to take it on and accomplish my goals. I am going to stay posting here no matter what, I love you people, you are such a great support system. And I know that I will always be an addict and can never let myself forget that.
I think once I get the anti depressants worked into my system after a couple weeks or so, things are going to improve for me so much. I know my deprssion is actually my worst demon right now. I wish I had never gone off them in the first place many months ago. I guess I thought I could just go on without them and be OK. Hah!
ok thats enough babbling from me for now. Thanks for listening you guys.
Plz disregard my posts and think really hard about wait2longs. Either way you"ve got alot of advice but the decisions yours,,gl,,and keep posting
I Am proud of what i see here...MOST people telling the truth of their addictions and the way it is for them, been there, done that...reality for most is their choice...being honest about being an addict and staying clean..or not being honest with one self and still using...
Trouble...have you tried any other alternatives for pain? what is your pain caused from? i worry about this only because of the doubt you already have about your control and addictive behavoirs... if you really have that much doubt, then this could be a dangerous path to take. it was great your doctor did this for you with all of the other prescriptions...most would NEVER do it, and the cost of prozac alone is unbelievable!
I think you kind of answered your own question though..."i know i am an addict. and this will be a battle for me everyday."
are you really up to the everyday battle again? do you really want to take the chance?
and also, how severe of an addict would you say you are, how bad was your previous use? how long have you been clean? these are questions you should ask yourself before you go this route. i would hate to see you ruin anything you may have accomplished already...are you strong enough to tackle it yet AGAIN if you fail?
Trouble...have you tried any other alternatives for pain? what is your pain caused from? i worry about this only because of the doubt you already have about your control and addictive behavoirs... if you really have that much doubt, then this could be a dangerous path to take. it was great your doctor did this for you with all of the other prescriptions...most would NEVER do it, and the cost of prozac alone is unbelievable!
I think you kind of answered your own question though..."i know i am an addict. and this will be a battle for me everyday."
are you really up to the everyday battle again? do you really want to take the chance?
and also, how severe of an addict would you say you are, how bad was your previous use? how long have you been clean? these are questions you should ask yourself before you go this route. i would hate to see you ruin anything you may have accomplished already...are you strong enough to tackle it yet AGAIN if you fail?
Trouble, when your doc gives you the talk that he did - it's time for doc to go back to school or time for you to get a new doctor....they are the pro's - it does take everybodies involvment to work optimally, but everyone has to be on the same page. And the doc is the one to decide therapy, not you. I have quite legit pain, but if I started on the pills (which are in my gun safe) I know that I would just start that slide again. And TRAINING, I'm not into any pissing contests about how much of what - or whatever...I did come to in the ER twice after being transported in respiratory arrest - - and the wd's that I had for at least two weeks were nothing that even a superhero could wake up and walk away from....and I aint no wimp, either - Nam vet, combat lifesaving trained and have used that training, had a hat shot off my head, I jump out of airplanes for fun, love to scuba and etc. Some people are just different.And I did c/t my habit - although if I had found this forum sooner I would have tapered.
When ya bash aa ya bash at least a couple million people so plz dont say you dont do that (no I"m not in aa) Your theory about basically everyone can just quit may work for you but thats you. Instead of taking the "my ways the only way route",why dont you just say what you did and suggest others try it.
OK so now im accused of bashing. I did NOT bash anyone, but when someone is telling someone else that THEY CANNOT CONTROL THEIR OWN PROBLEM thats bogus. Only they can control their problem. And on a side note, I would never walk into an aa meeting with a 6 pack, for the plain and simple fact that AA is a joke, founded by drunks for drunks who can admit they have a problem and are told for the rest of their lives they will never be anything more than just that. I percieve myself and anyone else who is strong enough to break their addictive habits as much more than an addict.
Now back to the topic at hand... Ohio you are strong, if you need the help of your husband to keep your problem in check then take it, if you need the help of a doctor, then take it, if you know deep in your heart you can go it alone, then do it. But dont ever let anyone else tell you what you are, and what you can or cant do. I kicked a habit that would make most of the people on the forum vomit, I cant tell you how many mgs a day i took, because honestly I dont know, it was a handfull coctail. And one morning I woke up and didnt take anymore. Can I take a Tramadol today for my back... Yes. Can I take whatever for whatever.... Yes. Because I was an addict, and that doesnt mean that thats all I have to be for the rest of my life.
Now back to the topic at hand... Ohio you are strong, if you need the help of your husband to keep your problem in check then take it, if you need the help of a doctor, then take it, if you know deep in your heart you can go it alone, then do it. But dont ever let anyone else tell you what you are, and what you can or cant do. I kicked a habit that would make most of the people on the forum vomit, I cant tell you how many mgs a day i took, because honestly I dont know, it was a handfull coctail. And one morning I woke up and didnt take anymore. Can I take a Tramadol today for my back... Yes. Can I take whatever for whatever.... Yes. Because I was an addict, and that doesnt mean that thats all I have to be for the rest of my life.
We are here for Trouble not to bash and talk trash and nobody here is any different from Super from what I have read. Dont tell someone not to talk trash and then do it yourself, The things that you all say are really hurtful to people and if it were said to you all hell would break loose! just because someone says something that you dont like isnt a reason to say something like he would bring a 6 pack to an aa meeting that crossed the line. This is Troubles thread and if she thinks that she can controll it with hubby's help THEN ITS HER LIFE! we are here to help not hurt! gosh people look at these replies and tell me you are proud of what you see! Im in shock! Trouble love, you are doing fine and you are going to be fine! hang in there! remember to fight and only take them when you cant stand the pain! what works for some doesnt for others! you are the only one that knows what you can handle!
lots of love!
Becca
lots of love!
Becca
with the exception of one ya got some good caring advice,,,,super sounds like hed bring a 6 pack to an aa meeting,,,gl
If you are truly in pain & think you can go along with your husband handing out the pills, then go for it. However, you will spend your days thinking about when you get to have your next pill if you are an addict, it consumes you, trust me I know & have tried that route. Subutex or Suboxone is a very good solution if you want to get off of the vicodin, it takes away all withdrawal effects & you don't spend your days thinking about pills, someone could put a vicodin or a percocet in your hand & you wouldn't want to take it. So anyway if you want to know more, write back.
ruby441
ruby441
super,
If you would like to put your 2 cents in that's fine but could you plz refrain from putting others down in the process it is very unnecessary
Have a great night
avis
If you would like to put your 2 cents in that's fine but could you plz refrain from putting others down in the process it is very unnecessary
Have a great night
avis
Hang in there. If your in pain then you need them. Just stay strong and stick with the 3 pills a day. Don't give in.
For your information I never did take a whole bottle of pills!! I always kept to my script only running out a few times in 5 years early!! So maybe you need to read alittle better! I didnt dog her at all I just told the truth and somtimes truth hurts!! If she was so strong she wouldnt have to give the bottle to her husband!!! And noone "NEEDS" pain meds there are plenty of other alternetives to pain the problem obvisliouly needs fixed and not masked by drugs!
angie and pillhead... just because you lack the self control to do the right thing and keep your heads on straight when you see a bottle of pills doesnt mean that everyone does. You may feel the need because there is a full bottle in front of you to take the whole thing in one go, but some people can take just one when they hurt. And for the life of me I cant figure out how you could dog this poor girl out like you have.
To Ohio.... Its a tightrope, but with the proper balance and control you can master it. If you are truly willing to make the right call everytime you open that bottle, then you will. Just remember that there is a difference in taking something when you genuinly need to, and taking something because its there. And no matter what anybody may tell you, YOU have the control. Thats the easy part, keeping it is a little trickier.
To Ohio.... Its a tightrope, but with the proper balance and control you can master it. If you are truly willing to make the right call everytime you open that bottle, then you will. Just remember that there is a difference in taking something when you genuinly need to, and taking something because its there. And no matter what anybody may tell you, YOU have the control. Thats the easy part, keeping it is a little trickier.
Yes it is addictive, and yes it is an opiate. I do believe you can become addicted to it but if you are serious about getting clean from your doc it can be very helpful. If I wanted to stay abusing drugs I would stay on my $10 hydros! Sub is very expenseve and you dont get a "high" from it, it stops your cravings and helps you through withdraws. I had to choose it because I have no time for withdraws! Single mom blah blah!!!!!!!!!! Anyway I started at 8mgs for the first couple of days and now I am down to just 2mgs and plan to be done with it by the weekend! I really think Sub is only for people that are ready to quit and dont want to be controlled by pills anylonger.
sweety... you know the answer.
the big question is is there anything else out there that can give you pain relief? i do know how hard it is, trust me. i have chronic pain too, and every day i ask myself the question whether i can go back to the pills or not, could i ever take them responsibly.. unfortunately, i know i cannot. and the bad part is, your life just really goes down the tubes when you are addicted to these things. the need is legitimate, but unfortunately, the result is BAD.
only you know... but if there is anything else you haven't tried yet for the pain, my input is to try it. you likely know already what will happen with the pills..
i am so sorry you are in this situation. it really, really sucks... :-(
good luck...
mj
the big question is is there anything else out there that can give you pain relief? i do know how hard it is, trust me. i have chronic pain too, and every day i ask myself the question whether i can go back to the pills or not, could i ever take them responsibly.. unfortunately, i know i cannot. and the bad part is, your life just really goes down the tubes when you are addicted to these things. the need is legitimate, but unfortunately, the result is BAD.
only you know... but if there is anything else you haven't tried yet for the pain, my input is to try it. you likely know already what will happen with the pills..
i am so sorry you are in this situation. it really, really sucks... :-(
good luck...
mj
i may sound stupid but isn't suboxone addictive also? if so then what is the difference in taking it or hydro's or any other opiate? i may be thinking of something else but seems like i read somewhere suboxone is an opiate.....right?
you cannot control and you will run out and suffer .Trust me it all that can happen. Go see him while you have inscurance are another doc and get suboxone.It will change your life.
Hey sounds like a real blessing your Doc. But you are a fool if you think you can controll your pills!! I have also bad bad bulging discs 2 very bad knees carple tunle tennis elbow the list goes on!! I have had MRI's on every part of my body that tells the doc yes I need something for pain relief. I have taken hydros for 5 years and only took 3 or 4 a day for 4 of the years then started taking 6 or 7 a day in the last year. I just cant take it any more. I know I am completely addicted to them and so do you or else you would not be on this site!!! I have been clean for 7 days now with the help of Suboxone. Yes I am still in sever pain but have been able to manage it with aleeve and mobic(for atheritis) I am going to do this the pills and addiction will kill me and you God bless and good luck
hey girl sorry to hear abour ur insurance that sux....glad u have an awesome dr though...u r in the same situation as me...it is a tuff battle for me every single day not to just gobble up the whole bottle espicially when something stressfull comes up....but i read a reply to blot out the suns post today by addciedme that had a great suggestion....take a pic of my kids and put it on my bottle....i did it...helps...cause trust me i stare at that bottle more times in a day that i care to admit..lol...so maybe that would help u too...love u sister...god bless u
I have been addicted for years pain killers of any kind.
You know you cant controll them. Yhe est thing out there is Suboxone it kills all withdraws you take it once a day and and after a couple of months you'll forget you were ever addicited to tem pain pills. Trust me i just quit taking hydrocodone 15/200 about 6 to 10 a day.
You know you cant controll them. Yhe est thing out there is Suboxone it kills all withdraws you take it once a day and and after a couple of months you'll forget you were ever addicited to tem pain pills. Trust me i just quit taking hydrocodone 15/200 about 6 to 10 a day.
i agree, dont feel guilty for needing them.. I was just sharing my experience with you as far as not abusing them.. I really hope you can manage them! BEST OF LUCK
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