My addiction - good or bad?

[Baber]

I remember the first time I was introduced to adderral - I was a sophomore in high school and it was exam time. I have a serious learning disability, which requires extra time and effort on my part to get the same or better grades than my peers. I was freaking out about how I didn't have enough time to prepare and study, and this stress lead to me being unable to sit down at my desk to actuctually study. So my mom gave me one of my brother's pills (probably 10mg Adderall). I WAS HOOKED. The material I was reading suddenly became interesting, not tedious. No longer did I catch my self at the end of a page having no idea what I just read. It was great.

When I went to college my mom began sending the pills to me.I began taking a pill when I got up, then when I studied. I soon realized that on adderall:  I took better notes in class, I ran farther on the treadmill, my reaction time was better when I played tennis, I studied harder and longer, and at bars and/or social scenes I didn't feel the need to drink as much as when I didn't take a pill before I went out. Soon I began stealing the pills from my brother.

Currently, I am working as an intern - and I realize that taking adderall helps the day go by faster - b/c I am constantly keeping myself involved and active in office business. BUT I AM NOW WONDERING....if I could ever return to life before adderall. I know this is an addiction, but is it neccessarily a bad one...unlike other addictions (pain killers, alcohol, etc) my addiction helps me to be more productive than when I don't have it. I need help figuring this out.

[S.C.Feen]

Remember, you are the only person who thinks in your mind! Your thoughts and beleifs of the past have created this moment, and all the moments up to this. What you are now choosing to believe and think and say will create the next moment and the next day and the next month & year.!  
You are the power in your world! You get to have whatever you choose to think!
*****Cleaning the mental house after a lifetime of indulging in neg. thoughs (or things) is a bit like going on a diet after a lifetime of indulging in junk food. They both can often create healing crises. As you begin to change your physical diet, the body begins to throw off the accumulation of toxic residue, and as this happends, you can feel rather rotten for a day or two. So it is when you make a desision to change the mental thought patter- your circumstances can begin to seem worse for awhile.
Recall for a moment the end of thanksgiving dinner. The pan is all burnt and crusty, so you put in hot water and soap and let it soak for a while. then you begin to scrape the pan. Now you reallly have a mess; it looks worse then ever. but, if you just keep scrubbing away, soon you will have a pan as goos as new.
It's the same thing with cleaning up dried- on crusty mental patterns. when we soak it with new ideas, all the gook comes to the surface to look at. Just keep doing the new affirmations, and soon you will have totally cleared an old limitation!

[deaz]

hi everybody this is my first time on here.  I am in the dark about a lot of things and haven't been able to find a website that can answer any of my questions.  So here goes.  First, I have taken the over the counter drug criosidin before and it was terrible, but I don't know if it will have any longterm effects.  So if anybody else does know, could you please tell me.  Also I take hydrocodon(i dont know the proper spelling sorry) often and i was wondering if it or adderrall have any side effects or negative long term effects.  I haven't done adderrall enough yet to be addicted but i am seriously craving it now.  And last if anyone has any information on zoloft and ridalin, like what their effect is and what side effects they have I would greatly appreciate it.  I know this is a lot to ask but no one else I've met has answers and I am trying to get everything straitened out before I do something I will regret.  Oh one more thing, has anyone ever heard of 'somas' because they seem to be very popular right now but I don't even know what they are, I heard painkillers, but I don't know how strong or anything like that.  Thanks again.

[deaz]

hi everybody this is my first time on here.  I am in the dark about a lot of things and haven't been able to find a website that can answer any of my questions.  So here goes.  First, I have taken the over the counter drug criosidin before and it was terrible, but I don't know if it will have any longterm effects.  So if anybody else does know, could you please tell me.  Also I take hydrocodon(i dont know the proper spelling sorry) often and i was wondering if it or adderrall have any side effects or negative long term effects.  I haven't done adderrall enough yet to be addicted but i am seriously craving it now.  And last if anyone has any information on zoloft and ridalin, like what their effect is and what side effects they have I would greatly appreciate it.  I know this is a lot to ask but no one else I've met has answers and I am trying to get everything straitened out before I do something I will regret.  Oh one more thing, has anyone ever heard of 'somas' because they seem to be very popular right now but I don't even know what they are, I heard painkillers, but I don't know how strong or anything like that.  Thanks again.

[lildeath]

hi every one to sick really to say much on day three from 20 lortabs to 4 i feel like im going to die,will it feel this bad when i get off the other four?
           lildeath

[Nene]

Hello everyone.  I was reading about Adderal and Ritalin and all of those cheap highs.  Anyone snort them?  I hate snorting Ritalin, Adderal is great though!

[Lug]

Thanks so much for writing me back.  It is day three at 7:30 a.m. here in NC.  I feel pretty good.  Took my morning dose of percoset (3) and I am getting ready to go to the beach.  Things always seem better at the beach.  Anyway, my husband got some weed day before yesterday and I really think that is what helped me get thru yesterday.  I'm glad it is not just wishful thinking on may part that it helped with withdrawals.  I do not have a problem with weed either- never really liked it and stopped at age 18.  Am 41 now.  Maybe I can handle it better.  It really seemed to help yesterday and I am glad it helps you too.  I started using percoset for osteoarthritis and sciatica and it just snowballed from there.  I really like the feeling from pills- can do anything feel normal- no pain and a buzz too but that is the reason I have to stop and I am gonna do it !!!  Good luck to you and everyone on this board.  Gotta go- have kittens crawling up my legs and my husband is ready to go.  Thanks again!Lug

[Lug]

Hi everyone.  I am new to this board- or any board for that matter.  I am stepping down (trying to) from twenty percosets a day to ten a day.  Today is day two.  I screwed up yesterday and at the end of the day (around 5:00 p.m.) took a butt load of percoset.  Anyway what I am getting at is that I would like to know if anyone has tried weed for withdrawals.  Did it help? I am not having such a bad withdrawal experience- its only the 2nd day- I'm sure there is more bad feelings to come.  I am scared that I will screw up again at the end of this day or tomorrow.  Please help.  I hope I did not ask a bad question and get kicked off this board with my first post. I have searched for the answer to this question and have come up empty.  I'm looking for anything to help with what I feel is about to come. Please help.

[DrEviltimmy]

Question? I am now withdrawing from vikes day 3 using adderall to combat feeling like ****. this is a bad idea huh? What are the consequences? Also stopped temazapam last week & use ambient to sleep.
THX
Timothy

[skipper]

timmy:
welcome to the forum! 'ya know there will always be room for just one more junky here, so come on in!

i understand the logic and thinking that would lead a person to re-
sort to amphetamines on day 3 of hydro (or any other opiate) w/d.
besides the obvious problems (amphetamines are just down right obnoxious to some people), amphetamines tend to really jangle a
junky up, real bad. the obvious antidote (at least to a junky) is
to use opiates (just to take the edge off). after awhile the whole
thing turns into a vicious, tight little circle. if yoy're at day 3
in your w/d (BY THE WAY CONGRATULATIONS ON GEETING THIS FAR), i'ld
just tough the rest of it out, as you can't be too far off from
"home free."

at any rate keep posting...we need you as much as you need the rest
of us.

keep an angel on your shoulder
kip

[alexandra_r]

Welcome--I am glad that you posted.  This board has helped me a lot in the past 2 weeks or so (since I started visiting).  I am doing a w/d from vicodin.  It was prescribed to me for back pain and while I still have back pain--I was using the vicodin even if my back wasn't hurting.  So, I started a slow taper on July 1.  I don't know if you have enough percoset to w/d slowly, but I think it really helps.  I have had the willpower (this time) to taper myself, but lots of people don't and I have not in the past (10 years ago).  If you don't think you can taper yourself, I would suggest that you give your meds to a trusted friend and have them give them out to you.  I have been lowering my vicodin dose by 1/2 a pill (when I got down to 4 per day) and then stay at that level for a couple of days while my body adjusted and then lower again by 1/2.  If you don't have someone you can trust, I can give you another suggestion.  Rent a safety deposit vault that is kind of a hassle to get to and go there once a day and get ONLY the amount of pills you are supposed to have for that day.

Regarding the weed--I am from the state (California) that is civilized enough to pass a law that marijuana can be used for medical purposes.  I know some people have problems with weed, but I really never have and I have been addicted to both heroin and crack--so I know what addiction is.  I have a real take it or leave it attitude with weed and because of this, I am using it right now to help me with my taper.  I got some just yesterday and it helped me a lot.  I only smoke a tiny bit but it helps so much with relaxing and that jittery feeling (the heebie jeebies).

Good luck to you--I think you will find a lot of support here.  The people who post here all have the same problem or are concerned about someone who does and we all just want to help each other.  Good luck with your w/d--there's a lot of us here who are going through the same thing that you are right now.

[OxyDout]

don't think.........KNOW you can do this, I know you all can, I was hopeless, but i'm almost 3 weeks sober and loving life, well I feel real tired, but mentally I love life right now, I have laughed more in these past 3 days then I have in the last 3 years.  Being sober brings back real emotions!!!!!!  And yes, its anxiety, we all get it, don't even worry about it, just calm yourself down, take some deep breaths and focus on your heart rate and slowing it down, it always works for me.

[Cassie33]

Thanks so much for all your help.......I am doing a little better but I have short period of shortness of breath.....is that anxiety?  I think we all are very strong and can overcome this with a little help.......thanks to all

[OxyDout]

Ok, you need to stop getting so nervous, RELAX, jesus, take a valium or something!! haha, ok not funny for this forum, but anyway.  Listen, I'm a little confused, you said you had 5mg methadones, then you said it was 10 10mg methadones, now you say you only have 1 left??? let me know whats going on because I really want to help you, I have had a lot of experience with methadone, but you have to be honest., Ok?

GWH

[AlexisInTx]

Steve, wish I could help you as well.  I think having someone to talk to (or type to) can be an enormous help.  

I was taking Norco's (hydrocodone) - 9 a day for about a year.  I haven't had any since May 25, but I feel totally unmotivated, depressed, fatigued and cannot for the life of me get more than 2 hours of sleep a night without waking up.  I'm hoping that the L-tyrosine (with B6) recommended is going to help (I've ordered it and it's on the way).  I also hear 5-HTP can help, too.  Have you looked at the recipe?  Maybe it's worth a shot.  

Take care of yourself and will look to see how you're coming along.

Alexis

[ske]

Wow I didn't think anyone was listening.
Thank you Alexis.
You have raised my spirits!
Wow just before I was going to pick up the phone to get the hookup.
I will try harder and wish you the best.
I wish I could give you more help.
pk's? is that percoset?
Hang in there I will continue to post and see how you're doing.

Steve K. E.

[AlexisInTx]

Sorry, I hit the send button too fast.  

What you're experiencing (lack of motivation, decreased energy) in my best guess would be life without the high (or low).  It takes time to recoup and you have to treat yourself well.  Take your vitamins, eat clean and push yourself to do things you would normally do, act, "as if" you feel normal and it will eventually come.  I know it's not easy going.  

I'm going through protracted withdrawals from PK's, so I'm experiencing some pretty rough times as well --I can empathize with your symptoms.  

Alexis

[AlexisInTx]

I have had friends in the past who have smoked pot on a very regular basis (I have also many years ago but did not like it at all), and from what I have seen and heard, marijuana is not an addictive substance, perhaps psychologically, but not physiologically.  You won't experience any of the physical withdrawal symptoms, just emotional (from what I've seen firsthand and have read).

[ske]

Hmm....
no help?
no suggestions?
I know pot is not as addictive as all the other drugs you guys are talking about, but it is still hard for me I have missed alot of work and my family is paying the price also.
But ohwell Ive been a loner all my life and will continue.
no more post for me.
thanks

[mrmichael67]

Hopefully, you will be fine.  I wasn't trying to be the harbinger of gloom.  Methadone is an opiate just like oxycodone or hydrocodone or heroin and on and on.  If you stop taking vicodin and start heroin, you will not go into withdrawal.  But, you aren't kicking the vicodin while you are on the heroin.  They all act on the same receptors.  They are mu opioid agonists.  All I was trying to say is that while you are not taking the vicodin, the methadone is acting on the same receptors....taking its place.  If the doctor was going to do it right, he would have started you out on a dose of methadone that is equivalent to the vicodin you were taking.  Then, he would have brought you down nice and slowly......about 5mg a week.  Or, he should have just tapered you with the vicodin.  At least he did what he did.  A lot of doctors will not even do that.  Beleive me when I tell you, I hope like hell you can do this with comfort.  I know what it feels like all too well and I don't like to see anyone go through it.  If someone were on methadone for quite some time and stopped it and started taking oxycontin at the proper dose, they wouldn't go into withdrawal either.  And, vice versa.  One thing that you do have in your favor is that you have been comfortable on the small dose of methadone that you have been taking.  If you do feel withdrawal symptoms after stopping the methadone, it should be a rather quick ordeal physically, at least.  And, whether it was my experience or someone else's or whatever, the one thing about opiates and tolerance and withdrawals is that it is pretty much universal for everyone.  It is just like there is not one person who takes opiates for a certain period of time that will not become physically dependent on them or see a rise in their tolerance.  As far as side effects go, everyone is different.  But, as far as physical dependence and tolerance go, it works the same for everyone.  Of course not everyone has the same tolerance, but the natural progression is the same.  If you take it for a long time, you will become dependent.  And, if you keep taking more and more, your tolerance will go up.  That is the same for everyone.

[hellbent]

Not exactly what I wanted to hear, but thanx anyway ;). I got 50 trazadone from the methadone clinic several months ago, on my last day there. I ate them in about 5 days. I think I'll stay off everything for awhile.

I can get about 6 hrs straight on a good night (3 on a bad one). If I really beat the **** out of myself during the day, I can get maybe 7. I am just going to trust that it will improve with time.

[Brickie]

Hey...  My personal experience has been that you'll experience just exactly what you expect, so it's probably better not to read about other people's w/ds.  You may be just fine after this meth, and have nothing but a little jitter or stomachache...  If you expect your w/d to go on for four days and be hideous, it probably will be just that.  Please let me know how it goes, ok?  Good luck!!!

Brickie

[billyk]

Methadone is all the Doc gave me. He said the w/drawls would be over in 4 days and thats that. The doc was pissed that I would not enter a treatment center, and he said I would never be able to do this w/out it. So far he has been wrong. I am feeling fine, a little nervous and heart flutters, but besides that I am doing good.I am concerned however what is going to happen when the Meth runs out. I have been taking just a half a pill a day for 2 days and I only have 1 pill left (the addict in me I guess) I will have to post to let ya know how w/drawls from the Meth goes. I hope its nothing, but hearing mrmichael, he said I am postponing the inevitable. I hope he is wrong. If anyone knows what is going to happen after the Meth runs out I would appreciate any help. Good Luck

[alexandra_r]

I just read your post about insomnia--sounds so familiar.  After I quit doing heroin and methadone, I have had continuous insomnia problems.  I believe (and have done some research on this to back it up) that our brains are slightly rewired after being on opiates for any period of time and our sleep patterns are disrupted permanently.  Nearly all of the ex-junkies I have ever known (and I have known a lot!~) have insomnia problems.  It became such an issue for me--the insomnia.  For the first year after kicking heroin/methadone, I didn't sleep more than 3 hours at a time.  I would sleep more than 3 hours a night, but fitfully and waking up and then having a hard time getting back to sleep.  My doctor (this was about 5 years ago) who knew my addiction history, put me on a _very_ low dose of trazadone.  Trazadone is commonly used as an antidepressant, but at that dose, really knocks you out.  However, it is prescribed at a low dose (that is ineffective as an antidepressant) and I have taken this lowest dose since that time (50 mg, 1 p/night).  I can't tell you how much this helped me and I really didn't have any after effects in the a.m.  It is non-addictive, as I went off of it while I was pregnant and had no problem at all with withdrawal (but the insomnia came back).

[alexandra_r]

Hey Bay Girl--

Sorry to not get back to you sooner, but I have been at the beach house in Monterey for the last few days.  A real break--I didn't even bring my laptop computer.  I am still doing well with my taper--right now, I am down to 2 and a half vikes per day.  It is still hard, but it is getting easier.  When I was at 3 vikes per day, I started breaking them in half and taking 1/2's at 6:00 a.m., 10:00 a.m., 2:00 p.m., 6:00 p.m., 10:00 p.m. and then I wake up, sweating around 2:00 a.m. and would take the last 1/2.  Yesterday, I didn't take the 6:00 a.m., but held off till 8:30 and waited a little longer in between 1/2's.  I don't feel great, but it is keeping the really bad heebie-jeebies at bay.  I am even able to get a little work done.  By all means, please email me, since we are both SFers.  Email address is ***@****