My boss confronted me about addiction and I lied?

I'm addicted to a legal substance that can compromise judgement ... and I work on patients. A bunch (about 3) of my coworkers caught me and turned me in to my boss. My boss confronted me on the issue and I assured him that I can stop and I will stop and that the substance is legal. He dropped it. This was about a month ago.

Now, there are rumblings around the office again and I'm constantly paranoid about being in trouble over this. I'm about ready to throw in the towel and just tell him that I can't stop taking it bc I have physical withdrawal. I can't live worried that action is going to be taken against me.

I'm wondering if coming clean with my boss first is a good move.

Anyone have thoughts on how to handle that?

[Elmijack15]

Do you have a prescription for what you're taking? If so I don't see why you'd lose your job or lied? Sorry confused

[KaceySmith]

No, it's kratom which is illegal only in Australia, Thailand, Laos, Maylasia etc... not in the US.  In the US, it is a "drug of concern" and "not approved for human consumption"  Problem is that I can write prescriptions and this substance is considered "mind altering"  I know that it doesnt really have a large impact on my judgement but it is known to be along the level of an opiate "high"... I only take it to combat the withdrawals though but still... it won't look good.

[IBKleen]

I'm really confused. You are taking Kratom to combat the withdrawal of what? Which drug is it that you are concerned about talking to your boss about?

[10356]

Hi KaceySmith. Welcome to the forum.. are you coming off the Kratom our another drug ? I'm sorry if I seem a lil confused.. We have nurses and other professionals here that can help with your original question more then I.. I just wanted to add my support and to welcome you.. lesa

[vicki595]

Essentially, you are an impaired healthcare worker. That may not be illegal but it could get your license revoked immediately;especially with three witnesses.

Your employer can and probably has already reported you to the board. They like a lot of documentation so there's most likely a lot of "note taking" about you in the office.

My advice: Protect your future. Say nothing. And quit your job right now! Get in to some recovery program and get yourself straight before going near another patient.  I'm a nurse as well. You know I'm right...

[Elmijack15]

Well wait to see what others have to say here but my opinion, and only an opinion, I would not tell my boss.

[Elmijack15]

3 witnesses ? Tel them it's vitamins. I'm sure nurses take pain meds if needed.

[vicki595]

Kratom is illegal in many states. It's not a classified "pain med".

[sharlola35]

Get a criminal defense lawyer ASAP.  Do not write or say anything to anyone without the advice of counsel.  I know a lot about what u r going through, good luck..sharon

[KaceySmith]

Thanks for the responses.  

I took Kratom after 8 mo of sobriety in recovery from alcohol dependence.  Kratom calmed me down, but not I have to take it 4 times per day or suffer fairly unpleasant withdrawals and extreme insomnia.  Kratom is the drug I am addicted to and it is legal in the states.

I'm a resident, so I cant just quit my job.  Thanks.

[Elmijack15]

Maybe you should go to a doctor and see what they can prescribe that is similar to what you're taking so you at least have a script. But if your boss asked you about it and you lied, he/she doesn't know the truth, maybe you are just being paranoid. Unless you were written up for drug use and you signed it I don't really think you have to worry. I wouldn't tell them the truth, that's just me though, they can think whatever they want, try not to take it when there are others around as you never know who may tell. Let it be for now, and try to get a script just in case you're questioned again, but don't tell them the truth and don't sign anything. Good luck to you!

[atthebeach]

i guess it would be time to start to taper your dose and get off as soon as possible.

[LostNoMore]

Maybe I'm misunderstanding you. You say that you were taking Kratom to combat withdrawals, then you say you were taking it after 8 months sober
from alcohol? huh? You wouldn't have any withdrawals to combat after 8 months. In any case, I don't know much about Kratom, but if you need to kick it and it sounds like your career might depend on it, then I would suggest you stop taking it immediately and suffer through the withdrawals and insomnia.
It's part of the deal, if Kratom withdrawal is anything like opiate WD. Get yourself back into whatever recovery program you were doing for the booze.
Whatever the outcome of being caught using on the job, you're going to be better off clean.Take care and Keep posting.

[KaceySmith]

I was done with alcohol acute withdrawal...and completely sober for 8 months (nearly)... I started taking Kratom bc I felt I needed something to replace it with... something to calm me down.  Now, I'm addicted to Kratom... I'm not addicted bc I was trying to get off of something else.  I searched for a legal drug that would calm me down a lot and I found Kratom... and then it became a problem too.

[sandstone27]

Hi Kacey,

I read through this thread and also researched a little bit about Kratom.  From what l've read it works on the same opiod receptors that opiates do, so I imagine that withdrawal would be similar to opiate detox.  Is your plan to detox from Kratom now?  Let us know, we're here to help.

Well wishes,

Sandy

[LostNoMore]

Kacey - OK, I get it now. My advice to you still stands. Your chances of surviving the trouble at work will exponentially increase if you're clean and sober...agreed?  Then there's the rest of your life. you've had issues with alcohol, you stopped drinking, you were sober a while, then you were uncomfortable with yourself and found another chemical to replace the alcohol. Is that right? Sounds like me. It's drug-seeking. I don't want to feel
what I'm feeling so I escape with drugs and/or alcohol. The problem is the alcohol and drugs turned on me and no longer produced the desired effect.
I was using to feel normal, to not feel sick. Then it took more and more to feel normal. Then I was sick all the time and couldn't ever get enough. Then my money ran out.....and on and on. The drugs are only a symptom for me. I had to find out why I was using, why I needed to escape. I hope this helps you.

[Bkitty]

Kacey you really need to get a handle on this ASAP,,you are on the verge of losing your job and your credentials. Do you have any type of employee assistance program that you can call?? I called the employee assist program and confessed I was referred to therapy and aftercare and was placed on medical leave. It was all confidential. You are about to lose everything you have worked so hard for and forging prescriptions is a felony. I say be proactive and talk to your boss and maybe arrange for a leave of absence so you can get a handle on this. I am so sorry you are going thru this,,I totally understand. The pit in my stomach knowing I was caught about thru me over the edge. Take back control and get that help NOW! I wish you the best! Keep us posted!~Bkitty

[Bkitty]

I just read vicki's post and I agree with her,,,get outta there asap! Sorry for the change of mind :((

[dominosarah]

You need to get a grip on your life ASAP before everything you have worked for goes right down the drain.  You will get caught if you dont stop this.  Reach out for help.  

[rizboy]

I defo think you need to get control of things again.you managed to quit the drink so im sure you can quit the kratom the same way.take some time off or do a taper.i think quitting your job would add to the feelings of loss or lack of control,and would be a bad idea.best of luck

[gnarly_1]

HI kratom is coming up more and more on our forum from everything I have read about it and the testamoinys of users it seams to be trouble if you get hooked on it.........I dont know if you can taper off I think this is one drug you just have to quit C/T ....and go threw the withdrawal process  as a health care worker you should know this stuff is dangerous and want to get off it listen to Vicki she is a nurse if nothing else get off the stuff and tell them your clean I wouldent make any more out of it then that good luck and God bless.........Gnarly  

[rizboy]

Kratom acts on the  u receptor same as opiates.so the thomas recipe would be of benefit,minus the benzos.immodium would work a treat as this acts on the u receptor.theres loads of stuff on the net CT advise and taper advise.best of luck

[KaceySmith]

Thanks for the advice, guys :)  Not sure which advice to take yet, but I'm working on it.