You know yourself that you can't force your mom into recovery. What you CAN do is get some help for your grandma. Contact your county Adult Protective Services and report this as a case of elder abuse. In my area, APS is part of Child Protective Services, which is buried under a warren of Department of Health and Human Services agencies. There is help out there for your grandma and she needs it.
They may be able to give you some ideas about your mom, but as long as she is "sane" enough to refuse treatment, that's pretty much the end of it legally speaking. We have legally protected civil rights, and that includes the right to destroy our own lives. If you want to try to force the issue, you would probably have to get a lawyer and apply for a conservatorship for your mom. That's darn difficult to do. Essentially, you are suing your mom. She'll clean up enough to tell the judge she's just fine and dandy, and that'll be the end of that. Sorry to be so pessimistic about this, but I learned more than I ever wanted to about these things when my mom was sick and demented and insisted on dying alone. Best of luck to you, and I really hope you can at least help your grandma.
I have a very similar mom, addicted to xanax lortab and beer. I also come from an abusive history as does she, but as an addict myself I know there is nothing I can do to change her ways, she has to want to and she doesn't. Does your grandma know she's stealing her pills? Can you talk to her about it or is it too much for her? If you can't talk to your grandma, you can report the abuse to adult protective services, but if your grandma covers for your mom (like I used to cover for my mom) nothing will come of it. I hope you can help your grandma but with your mom your hands are pretty tied. I need to take my own advice on this but you need to start taking care of you now. I've had my mom petitioned into the psych ward (she gets some delusions when she drinks from years of abuse, and she's bipolar) a few times, this got her clean and sober and on proper meds for her issues....until she got out. All you can really do here is see if you can help your grandma, and take care of yourself. Sorry if I sound like a downer, I feel for you and your situation since I have a similar thing going on in my life (but my grandma lives far away, and my parents are still together). I wish you the best.
-Holly
my mom's even the same age! If you need to talk I'm here.
Right now all that you can do is make sure your grandma is taken care of.
HI i feel for your situation but unless your mom wants to get clean theres not much you can do...drop by often and make sure your grandma is being taken care of you might try talking with your mom it couldn't hurt to try theres also alanon meetings you can go to that will teach you how to deal with this kind of thing....im sorry your having to deal with this so early in recovery remember to take care of you...good luck and God bless......Gnarly
Hi, Take care of your grandma first, just talk to her. She may know, and want help for your mother as well.....You can do that......Joy Keep your spirits up.