Need An Answer. PLEASE Help.

[hiskidd]

Hi all. I'm in living hell right now. It's my fault. I went through the hell of wds at Christmas, made it 41 days, then back on for a week, then off 20 days, now on for the last 3 months at 60-90mgs at day.

My wife is due with our 4th baby. She has a due date of July 9.

I took my last Oxy Mon, July 4 at 1045am. It's only been a couple of days but I'm in hell. I can hear in her voice and tell in her eyes that maybe she thinks this is not the right time to quit. But she doesn't want to come out and say this. It's not her fault, it's mine.

If I don't try to stop now, I won't have another gap of time until Christmas - 6 months from now. What do you think?

I'm WDing hard.

David

[hiskidd]

It makes sense but I always get so confused as to whether I'm an addict. My scripts are real, my usage stays within the prescription, my back/neck pain in real, etc.

I'm not strong emotionally. I don't know that there is anything I can do anyway, but I'm afraid of not getting better for 20 days, not being able to help take GOOD care of my other 3 kids, help my wife at or out of the hospital, get my school work done, start my new teaching year, and on and on and on. I'm so scared. Everything hurts. My pillows are made of tears.

[tryingtocope39]

I understand that your wife is totally stressed and stretched beyoind her limits, it seems. Being huge pregnant in the middle of summer and all the stresses of preparing for a new baby is no picnic, this I KNOW. I believe that right now, all she can see is the immediate picture. In the long run, in the GRAND scheme of things, she is going to be so much better having you go through this now and be clean when that new baby comes and the months to follow. Much better than when she has a newborn baby waking every 3 hours to eat, or an infant that requires full-time attntion, or a toddler thats growing and learning and getting into EVERYTHING! My point being, you will be much better help to her once that baby gets here than you are now, and she will come to realize this in the end. This is the BEST time for you to take the time to get clean, before the baby comes, when you will be needed most. I believe she will realize this in time and be grateful that you did it now instead of later, the long run?  Does that make sense?

[new2thisAZ]

You are WRONG.

You CAN be strong. You WILL be strong. You already were SO STRONG in getting rid of those blasted pills and the script. I'm on Day 4, my friend, and I JUST FLUSHED the last of my pills. I was hanging on to them like a lifeline. I didn't feel good about getting rid of them, it terrified me, but it's good I did. I went looking for all my old stash points. :-)  Didn't find crap, thank goodness, or I would have "popped just one."

You're about to go through hell. You know this. It's okay, you'll come out the other side. Keep posting. If it's in your nature, keep praying. You've got lots of positive thoughts and energy coming your way, helping to lift you up and help carry you through this.

Your wife is overwhelmed. She's got her own full plate. So do you.

You're doing this. You're okay. You will be okay.

[atthebeach]

david my brother and my friend,

i am praying and lifting you up. you are called out of darkness into HIS marvelous light.

please listen to these songs and be blessed.

"draw me close to you"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eA4narr2wyE&feature=related

"who am i"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VU_rTX23V7Q&feature=related

praying,praying,praying for the peace of the LORD to wash over your mind,body, soul and spirit.
debbie

[hiskidd]

My wife was not for this move. I should have consulted her. Maybe I did it in a panic. I can't get my pills back and now I'm stuck. It's not that she wants me high or dead, but she's beyond wanting to be done being pregnant. I thought I could be strong, but I can't. If I could get my pills back right now I would.

[ImDONENoMore]

We believe in your David.  And it's going to be okay.

:)