Need Help..Adderall

[kshea5669]

How do I stop depending on adderall? I've been on adderall for 8 yrs. I have lil two boys and a great husband who deserve more then I giving them. I'm between a rock and a hard place. If I take the med, I overdose myself. I Stay up all nite but I get things done. Cant stand the side affects( swinging jaw,crazy eyes, not sleeping etc) but my to do list is completely done. I even get compliments on how I look. When I dont have it..my house is bad dirty, I hardly shower,wear the same thing for days and everything piles up. I've gone mths without it. Started back on it because I was tired of  being ashamed of myself and my living habit's. I dont want my boys to be embarrassed because of me. Which is why I so upset now..I've only had 2 hrs sleep in the last 2 days. Im a stay at hm mom and all I;ve done all day is lay on the couch. I need something but cant control my dosage..I just feel like trash if I medicated and feel like trash if Im not....    

[Bkitty]

I am so very sorry that your post was overlooked, :( I am not to familiar with adderall and the withdrawals. But I wanted to bump you up to the top again and hopefully another member will be along to help advise you. I do believe though, that you need to be under the care of a physician to come off the meds. Again,, sorry. ~Bkitty

[Bkitty]

Bump~

[atthebeach]

i am also sorry that your post got overlooked.
have you spoken with your doctor about your concerns?
are you trying to get totally off the meds? or do you just want to control
your dosage?
if you want to stay on them, can your husband hold your pills?
do you also talk to a therapist?
has your doctor tried different meds for you?
are you diagnosed with add?
sorry for so many question, just trying to get a better understanding of your situation.
we want to try to help you and encourage you.
sending prayers
debbie

[atthebeach]

hun if you want to stop taking them tapering would be the best way for your body, brain,mind,emotions to adjust .then you wouldnt crash like you have been when you stop. your brain chemistry would have a chance to equalize and adjust to to each drop.

[atthebeach]

let your husband hold your pills and give you what you are supposed to take so you dont take too much.

[kshea5669]

Ive tryed it all... talking to the doctor, who just changed it to another stimulate, getting my husband to hold and hide them. Im a licensed private investigator so it didnt take long to find them. I really just need to control the dosage but have found I dont have the self control.  Ive tryed talking to a therapist but he seemed to write me off as a drug addict. I know it is compared to meth as well it should be. I just dont know who I can trust with what Im going thur and thought maybe this forum would help. Pretty much wrote it off too until u wrote back. It really does help that u took the time to contact me. I wont give up just yet on u guys... if maybe i could just find one person who knows what I going thur it would be a huge help... thanks again bkitty..

[kshea5669]

Im sorry..atthebeach. Bkitty tryed to help to. But I was wanting to answer the questions u asked..sorry

[atthebeach]

hi i am glad you checked back in.you are welcome.
maybe it is time to look for a different doctor and therapist. sometimes we have to try a few different ones before we feel comfortable and are getting the answers and help we are looking for.
have you tried any support groups?
do you want to be off the meds?
maybe a mood stabilizer would work better for you.
were you diagnosed with add? is that why you were given the adderal in the first place?
keep posting here it does really help to talk things out.
sending prayers and hope
keep the faith
there is always hope
dont give up
debbie

[selfinduced]

Hi kshea, I don't have experience with adder all, but an addict is an addict, doesn't matter what the drug is. My heart goes out to you. I have not read the above post, but can I ask you, what happens if you stop taking it abrubly? Can you function? Have you spoken to a pharmacist to see what the detox time is for this drug? I have a son on Vyvannse and he doesn't take it on weekends or summers and suffers no w/d. Wish I had more, but I am here to talk. Out for a bit but I'll check for you later. Unfortunatly it seems many don't have ex with this drug in an addictive manner. xx

[kshea5669]

  I dont want to be on any meds..thats the problem. I want to be like normal people who get up and do what is on their to do list and call it a day. I cant seem to focus on what has to be done or even the steps on how to get it done. late at night I remember important calls I should of made, always missing deadlines like the power bill so the power gets shut off. I dont get out of bed,or take care of myself. my boys get feed and bathe but other then that they just watch tv and play with each other all day .thats with no meds.. Im depressed to the point I admited myself into the hospital because of depression. couldnt stop crying. they kept me for 4 days. They sent me home with anti-depressions and my add meds. that was 4 mths ago. things arent near as bad as then because Ive had access to my adderall. Now im dealing with over doing it. Staying up for nites at a time,feeling like a junkie,avoiding everybody because of how im acting. I want to do daily things (dishes,errands etc) but most important be a better mother to my boys. I just dont know what to do. Im a better person in everybodys eyes on meds,but cant seem to get control of it. I know Im all over the place with this reply but I just have so much to say no nobody I trust to listen... u at least taking the time to try and help means a lot. I know u dont know much about it but it in my eyes is the worst rx next to oxys u can get....  

[Bkitty]

Your welcome~ I wish I had a better answer. We are always here to listen to ya if you need to vent. I see that you have an addiction and whether it be adderral or an opiate you have the same issues as all of us. I think under all this is the depression talking. If you can get a handle on that it may help you decrease the want/desire to abuse the adderral. For example, I abused opiates because I was depressed-that was my underlying issue. Once I got a handle on that my desire/need to abuse opiates decreased dramatically. Do you see a psychiatrist? I am not sure but with adderall you may need to taper off that and you will need to be monitored by a physician to safely wean off them. You can do this. You have to find the will within yourself and try and gain some control. We all have the ability to do that. Its just sooo so so hard to make that step. I know. Ive been there. Have you thought about NA or seeing a therapist? I think in your case some outside support would help tremendously. Keep posting and talking with us. We can help you figure this out. ((hugs))~Bkitty

[kshea5669]

Thanks for replying.. I was diagnosed with add 8 yrs ago. the problem is that when i get my script..it takes a week to go thur a mths worth. Then the other 3 weeks Im sleeping, or on the couch. I dont do anything..play with my boys, grocery shop, or barely shower. Its really bad. Thank God for my husband who trys to understand and picks up my slack. When I have it..everything gets done.. I mean everything. Only reason I was able to start this help site is because I have my meds. Noone will hear from me when I dont. Im not happy that it takes meds from me to be like a "normal person" but then comes the over dosage. I will stay up all nite cleaning,working on the pc even go to walmart at 2 in the morning for groceries.Ive tryed other med but it doesnt seem to help. I know I wrote a small autobiography but just being able to put some things out there feels a little better...so thank you for at least letting me do that.

[atthebeach]

hun i am so glad that you are talking to us, i know it does help. i think  you should talk with a doctor (psychiatrist) if they are giving you anti depressants and add meds (adderal) maybe it would be better to be on a mood stabilizer. then you wont have the ups and the downs. then you wont beable to abuse them either.
i have add but i manage it without meds. i make lots of lists,having a routine is important,doing things in small blocks of time, so things arent overwhelming, maybe getting someone to help you organize things, like doing  grocery shopping on say mon & thurs, washing clothes on tues & sat, cleaning the house,wed & fri i hope you get where i am going this is just an example of how to divide and organize your time.
hun did you start the meds again? do you take xr or immediate release?
if you did start them again please let your husband hold them for you. if you continue to take them in higher than prescribed amounts it is very dangerous to your overall health.
we want you to find a solution, thanks for letting us reason things out with you.
sending hope,hugs and prayers
debbie

[atthebeach]

how are you doing today?

[kshea5669]

Thanks for asking..didnt have meds so I didnt move from the bed except to feed my boys. Got refill today and here it is 1:30 and Im working on my pc. Ive accomplished so much today but sitting up tweeking on the computer is not normal. I did call my ins today about a therpist. Guess thats something. Just worried about going to tell someone my darkest secrets face to face. Tryed it once,only lasted 2 sessions. I just want to be normal..no meds needed to do daily things like play with my wonderful baby boys (well babies to me 5 and 8). I want to be better for then...taking meds has pros and cons. Just not sure which is greater... thank you for taking a min to hear me ramble. It does help

[Momofbandg]

I know this thread is 4 months old but after reading what you wrote and the replies to it...I just had to check in because I'm going through the EXACT same thing right now.  I felt like I was reading about my life instead of yours with only a few different details.  I hope it's ok to write after this long. Let me know if you would like to talk and I'll share my story with you. :)