Welcome to the forum, Kevin!! So glad you have decided it's time to make a change. You're so right....prescription drugs will steal all of life's beauties from us and turn us into people we never intended to become.
I'm guessing that since you are asking how to do this without a doctor, that you don't get your pills from a dr? Or you supplement from elsewhere?
Having gotten off of 3 drugs at one time....I'd share with you that you may need to do this one drug at a time. The Tramadol/Ultram is, as you may already know, a totally synthetic opioid.....it also has an antidepressant component in it which adds to the complexity of a straight opiate w/drawal.
It is safest and best....of course to taper Trams down.....but I DO know of a very dear woman that simply had to cold turkey them. She was taking WAY MORE per day than you....and she is almost a year clean now :) You need to take it one drug at a time. The benzo will be equally as difficult to w/draw from as the Tramadol. They BOTH can cause seizures if not weaned/tapered...that's simply the truth and nature of those beasts. But you can do it....equip yourself...learn and read all you can. I COMMEND you for wanting to do this for YOURSELF...and also for your new blessing/your new son. It will be something you will never regret. It's VERY hard.....but DOABLE.
I thought I'd share a link with you. It's where a lot of Tram Warriors here on MedHelp share their experience, strength and hope...their struggles...their relapses...their "I can do this"..."this is EXACTLY what I'm going thru"...kinda stuff. A forum member started a journal way back in 2008 when she got free of tram poison (as she calls it). Those journals are still going strong.....they are on "part 60" I believe. Here ya go:
http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/856254/Tramadol--Ultram-Recovery-Room-60
Hope you'll tell us more about yourself. There are lots of us that have been down the road you find yourself on about now. We are all scared to quit...and scared NOT to quit. But we hold the key to our own freedom.
Blessings to you~