Just need some support

[tavia14]

Hi All- Just need some wors of wisdom!! Day 4!! Please tell me how much better things will get!! Tell me just to keep holding on!!! Tell me my baby deserves a sober mama!! Tell me not to cave and it is all worth it. I have no more pills but do have a script. I am on a first name basis with the pharmacist so I am sure he will cancel them for me. I will do this immediatly when I have a second alone. I am at work now so I don't want anyone to hear. Good God that would be awful!!

Please tell me even though I am walking in a fog it will lift! And that I will do OK on this test at work. Geez when and how did this creep back up on me!! I was feeling soooooo good with nearly 3 months of clean time and then bam!! Can't do this again! Thank you xxooo

[atthebeach]

i am smiling ear to ear you canceled the script wow that is great. so proud of you.
you are doing it, minute by minute,step by step, hour by hour, day by day. tomorrow is going to be a good day, i know it.
yea you took the test, i knew you would make it.
keep on keeping on,
sending hugs and prayers
debbie

[Dane74]

Great job, keep up the good work!!!!!  Canceling the script was hard but empowering.....YOU GO GIRL!!!!

[bamagrl75]

If you cant quit for yourself, then PLEASE break your additction for your baby! I am 36 y/o female and was born to a drug addicted mother. i am now an addict that has stopped cold turkey 3 times but i keep going back to the hell. i was born with facial deformities because of her addiction. she left me when i was 6 months old and never saw me again. if you love your baby getting better for her will be one of the most important things you will ever do for him/her. i am a strong person but my life is so emptry because i dont have, and never had, a mom in my life. my step-mom was a very evil person. i needed a mom, my mom, but she was never there. i didnt have my mom to talk to about boys when i was maturing. i didnt have my mom to talk to about my menstrual cycle - i thought i was dying when my first one came because i didnt know what was happening. i didnt have my mom to talk to when people made fun of me because of the way i looked. your baby NEEDS you. as an addict, you might be there physically but its impossible to be "present" when your mind is in a fog all day. its impossible to be there emotionally because addition makes us quit feeling. i dont have a baby, cant have one because of the defects i was born with but i wish everyday i had one. i love my husband more than i love anyone else on this earth but i know a baby would give me the strength to break my addiction forever because i would know all the joys and love my baby would be missing out on because of my addiction. stay strong - love yourself and your baby enough to quit. thanks for letting me share.

[tavia14]

Geez!!! I can't wait to race to my phone to get on this forum the second it once again is saving my life you all are once again saving my life!!!!! Took my test ugh my brain was soooo squierly I literally felt it trying soooo hard and things were even getting blurry:.: wow what a nightmare I am in!!! But hey tomorrow is day 5 chin up and move forward..::,, by the way script canceled!!!! Yippee!!

[Am2BerrySweet]

Wow, I have to really admire you.  You are on day 4 and you are at WORK!!  This tells me you have some real strength.
Congrats.

[Bubulous]

As far as how much better it gets.  You couldn't imagine how much better it gets.  When you are through the fog you will find an amazing life waiting for you.  I am proud of you for coming on here and opening up.  

I will share some things with you:

I didn't cry when my best friend was killed when I was 22.  I went to his funeral and looked at him lying there but no emotions.  I was dependant on opiates.

I didn't cry when my first son or my second son was born.  I couldn't because I had no emotions.

When you start the process it may appear that emotions are your worst enemy.  You may regret a lot of things but you have to forgive them.  As I like to say the amount of time you used and the amount of time it takes to recover is not as important as what you do afterwards.  If you were told you had five minutes with each person you cared about you would spread more compassion in those five minutes with anyone you talked to than a lifetime of living on those things.

I told someone earlier that my favorite people are those who were addicted or dependant on any substance and recovered from it.  If you don't know what it is like to make it out of hell you will never appreciate Heaven.  You will find it hard to find a better more compassionate group of people.  I hope you do this.  We will all keep you in our prayers.

[overthepill]

Today is day 13 for me and I got 7 hours of sleep last night, which seemed like an impossibility even 2 days ago.  Trust me, It does get better.  If you can't hold on, HOLD ON!

[Dane74]

Fight till the end girlfriend!!!!!  You are doing great on day 4 and you will have good days and bad days.  It will not get any worse from here on out, and take it hour by hour if you have too.  I am 26 days clean now, and i remember all to well what your feeling and it does get better i promise you that.  The sleep part is another issue but who needs sleep anyway...LOL.  Cancel that script you have, no need to have that over your shoulders, our minds as addicts are very powerful and it will TRY to convince you to fill the script.  You are doing great and just keep on posting and we will all help you.  After work, hop in the shower, they really helped me so much in my early recovery, i would tak 3-4 showers a day and get relief, just try it, whatcha got to lose???

[sudie58]

hang on in there tav, you will get through this! the fog will lift as everyone says, you remember when it wasnt there! and you are right, your baby does deserve a sober mommy and you are going to stay one!! my thoughts and prayers are with you, God bless.

[atthebeach]

Hey hun yes you are going to make it yes the fog is going to lift.yes your baby deserves. A sober mama you deserve to be free of the chains and bondage of addiction. Cancel the script using is not an option. Press on. Fight the fight. You are on the road to freedom don't look back. Keep on moving forward you are stronger than the addiction. Repeat it over and over I am stronger than the addiction I am the victor.pray for peace to flood your heart mind soul body spirit and your emotions. Peace like the waves of the ocean.
Sending hugs and prayers
Debbie

[NeedsEncouragement]

I can only speak from my experience, yes, it will get better.  I am on day 10 and still don't feel normal or sleeping, still feel depressed and anxious a large part of the time....but YOU CAN DO THIS!  Just remember that you are in the hardest part right now.  I am home for the time being and I am not sure that is helping.  It may be great for you to be at work and challenged...it may actually push your brain to heal faster!  Hang in there!  Definitely a good idea to cut off any other opportunities you have at getting the meds.