Need inspiration, feeling like crap at a month clean

[tryingtosurviveagain]

Omg,  I feel like I really broken myself this time.....yeah this time, because I have been thru this withdrawal process so many times, I dont even care to talk about it,  I have a month clean, and I just cant seem to shake the depression, and fatigue.  At times Im still sore.  Its just different every time.  This is soooo sad tho,  the fact that I keep ending up here in this dark place.  Im just disgusted with life period,  just so outdone.   Well, I made it 30 days, yes I have aftercare thru my church, but nothing is lifting this numbness.  i sure hope and pray, that I snap back outta this funk real soon, this is miserable.  Im soooo tired, this process is soooo much work, Im tired.

[Vickyleanne1974]

Hey, I know that feeling so well, as an addict in recovery I have to say I'm with jifcom too, when I came home from detox I was a 6st mess. I couldn't even walk up the stairs without sitting down. The no sleep was a killer and I felt just like you are feeling now. I felt and still do at times that I don't live, I just exsist. The best thing I did was get myself to groups & meetings. I was always told through recovery to make myself do things I don't want to do. Believe me Sat in a room full of strangers grattling away really was something I didn't want to do but it was the best thing I did. Been around like minded people who know what you're going through makes a huge difference. I think every minute you're occupied even if it's just 2 minutes, then it's 2 minutes not thinking about recovery. Good luck ((hugs)) x

[gnarly_1]

hey  im with jifmoc  the real key here is not to do the same thing over and expect different results....we have a old saying around here.....Nothing changes if nothing changes...ask anyone with some clean time around here and there in a recovery program.....for me N/A has been not only helping me stay clean  but we treat the addict and for the first time I was no longer ''white knuckling'' it  recovery is a great place to be.....the only real way to do this wrong is trying to do it alone   there are lots of everyday people as well as professionals in N/A  there is more of us leading the clean lifestyle  then slaming speed balls behind a dumpster  do yourself a big Favor and google a n/a meeting near you....give it a try...for most of us it is like coming home....for the first time your not alone  and the people there understand what your going threw....the first few months are hard enough  make it ez on yourself.................GNARLY>>>>>>>>>>>>

[jifmoc]

Hi. I remember that feeling so well. I thought I'd be fine at 30 days. We addicts have no patience at all. We use for YEARS and wonder why we are soo listless and depressed after only a month of not using. You have to give it time. The other thing is, the ONLY thing that lifted me out of that was getting my butt into meetings. 90 meetings in 90 days to start. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Meetings and being in the program keep me sane. In a month I will have 3 years clean. Please keep posting.

[Ben727]

For me, getting active was more important than meetings. I began swimming religiously right when I quit in 2012. There's no issue in my life an intense two-mile swim can't cure. I also focused on eating better. Those two things made all the difference for me. It still took time though. 30 days is great, but it's just the start.

[waterLilly7]

I can't leave advise on the addiction part, because I was never addicted, but I was dependent upon 280-360 mg per day of oxy for two years.
I found I had milestones, like one month, then would feel kinda crappy again, then 3 months would be good, and then 6 months. All in all it took me a good two years to get totally back to normal. For me that anxiety monster was the last and hardest thing to shake.
I did things in little bits, and sometimes I still do if I feel pressured.
like the dishwasher, one rack, rest, then the next rack, rest, etc.
Congratulations on quitting. Soon you will be dancing in the light like I am.
Hugs,
Lily

[meme53207]

.dependant is just a nicer way to say addiction dear....

[asailorswife]

i am almost at 7-8 years coming up -my best piece of advice is to keep going. the best decision i have ever made, next to marrying my husband, is getting clean. i have never felt better in my entire life. i remember the WD and i remember the headaches, migraines, diarrhea.....you name it. heck, i remember the first time i had a solid bowel movement; i think i may have cried. keep going. keep pushing. your life will thank you for it, later.

[Vickyleanne1974]

Hey, I know that feeling so well, as an addict in recovery I have to say I'm with jifcom too, when I came home from detox I was a 6st mess. I couldn't even walk up the stairs without sitting down. The no sleep was a killer and I felt just like you are feeling now. I felt and still do at times that I don't live, I just exist. The best thing I did was get myself to groups & meetings. I was always told through recovery to make myself do things I don't want to do. Believe me Sat in a room full of strangers rattling away really was something I didn't want to do but it was the best thing I did. Been around like minded people who know what you're going through makes a huge difference. I think every minute you're occupied even if it's just 2 minutes, then it's 2 minutes not thinking about recovery. Good luck ((hugs)) x

[LorneGreensEnmy914]

This post seems like mine holy ****, I'm a week shy of 3 months clean and I still have these days! They come and go sometimes stay for weeks then leave fore weeks or just days at a time. I finally got a new job bs pay at 21/hr but at 7 weeks clean I was in the dumps about being jobless for the first time since I was 18 and recovering from drugs (also dirt broke) noodles were to much. Lol anyways once I found that getting Accative seemed to helped I tried to just do a bunch of small things. Just go to work come home get things done then do this trying to find new patterns training the brain to do good things and habits. Then you slowly see that depression fog lift from day to day like real laUghs I mean deep laughs at programs you wouldn't watch while high. Forcing yourself to smile crap doesn't work forcing yourself to be around parent type figures or just positive friends keep your mind on a good track that help your overall mood. Sorry for all the run on and misspelled words!

[tryingtosurviveagain]

Just need to add,  I understand from my experiences that each withdrawal is very different, some worst than others,  but outta all of them,....it never took me this long to feel emotionally better with myself.  I know I cant go back, and have no desire to, I am grateful for coming this far, and at the same time, I dread waking up every morning to face another boring, fatigued day, no energy to even move.  Its pitiful,  Im sooo tired of being strong, even tho the days are going by and Im getting another day under my belt clean,  It still feels like Im not progressing.  Idk,  guess Im just tired, this is so much work, its not like you can just lay there until its over, there are things you have to force yourself to do, which take energy that I do not have.  Jesus please help me.  I feel like just giving up.  Im sick of it already.  I just dont feel, I feel numb.  Just a body trying to exist.  This is sooo not my norm.  Im wondering why at this point.