Need support

[lulu747]

Hello dear MH friends!  I have not been around the forum much lately as I've become a bit of a work-o-holic.  I know this is not healthy and has me severely run dow and my autoimmune illnesses (Crohns and Rheumatoid arthritis) are flaring with a vengeance.  I know it's because I've got myself in a emotional state of stress.  It doesn't seem to matter how many yoga classes and meditation sessions, my mind is just obsessed with what I can do to make my life better.  I spent 6 years on drugs and stuck in illness, and I so desperately want my life back.  I just bought a condo and good things are happening but I'm so very sick.  My pain levels are the highest they've been since detox well over 6 months ago.  I knew this day might come, and I would deal with it.....But the suffering *****.  I'm taking tylenol arthritis for my joints and aching bones.  Nothing helps the gut pain.  Pain meds are NOT an option for me and so I guess I just need some support.  I am so exhausted but my legs hurt so much I can't sleep.  Any and all feedback is most welcome.
LOVE
LU

[lulu747]

Sara thanks for checking in....I'm feeling pretty rough.  My lymph nodes are all swollen and my bones hurt SO much!  But my brain has quieted down as I accept these are my limitations and I need to work within them.  I'm working the next three days but am staying calm and in bed the rest of the time.  I started taking some naturopathic adrenal support so hopefully that will help calm down my stress response.

Thank you all for your love and support and Happy Canada Day to my fellow Canucks!!!
xo
Lu

[dominosarah]

How are you feeling today Lulu?  Been thinking about you so just wanted to say hi~~

[Bkitty]

Lulu its so good to see a post from you and I am so happy to hear that for the most part you are doing great! Congrats on your new condo. I am so sorry that you are feeling bad and in pain. Sounds like you need to slow down a little. I am glad to read that you have >6months under your belt! Hope you feel better soon sending ((hugs)) love and support!~Bkitty

[dominosarah]

Acceptance is always hard to do for us.  Recovery is a life changing process so dont try to hurry it along.  It is sorta like tapering, you have to get used to it before you take the next step.  My sponsor gave me "assignments" to do.  I had to look in the mirror for 1 minute, 3 times a day as i had a hard time accepting what i saw.  Slowly but surely i started to find some good things looking in that mirror..I am now down to my neck but it is progress!!  lol

[lulu747]

All of your messages warm my heart and YES I am going to slow down...I have to...(:
  I know that trying to be Superwoman is what got me sick and addicted in the first place and I am NOT wanting to go down that road again.  It's crazy these behavioural patterns- they are so tricky to change!
I'mDone-
I was put on remicade a few years back and had a severe reaction- serum sickness followed by 3 weeks in hospital on TPN- very lucky to be alive after that one!  It's been the case most often for me that the treatment for my disease hurts me more than the disease does!!

Sara- you are SO right (as usual) about me missing out on the great joys of life.  I'm so stuck in my head- worrying, worrying, worrying.  It does not serve anyone, least of all me.  I know I need to stop and enjoy this freedom and the beautiful things in life that I have worked so hard for.

Vicki- I know prednisone is a good drug- it saved my life and my colon!  I was pred dependant for 4 years- it was awful getting off it (almost worst than the oxy!!)  Leave it to an addict to get hooked on everything...(:  If I can't get this settled down with diet, sleep, and yoga then I will do the pred.  

Kyle- Thanks Buddy...Awesome to see you back on the forum.  180 DAYS!  Woot woot!  That is cause for some serious chocolate cheesecake, or maybe some donuts???  IDK.  Not part of my diet plan but I may have to splurge in honour of your milestone.  Proud of you.

I had a big talk in my support group today about acceptance.  I'm struggling with it right now.  I think it's the hardest thing for me to do, probably for any of us to do, to accept who we truly are.  I am working on it!  And working on SLOWING DOWN.  Sigh.
Thank you my lovely, lovely MH friends for all of your wise words and support- I can't tell you how much it means to me at the end of a long day to read your words.  
Love to all
xoxox

[ImDONENoMore]

I agree with vicki and sara - SLOW DOWN.

And also - have you talked to your Dr. about one of the remicade (or humira) treatments for your Crohn's?  My brother has Crohn's and those treatments have helped him a lot in the past.  Just something to think about (plus it might be good for your RA as well).  :) (oh and stop trying to be superwoman - it's impossible for any of us and we don't get extra points for that)  I'm going to bet you're perfect just the way you are :)

[vicki595]

Oh sweet girl...I'm sorry things are flaring but do what Sara suggested...

Prednisone is a good drug!  It's just not a "forever drug" but it will get you over this hump!

Rest this weekend. Just do it!!   Check back in so we know you got the message!    xoxo

[kyle505]

You have helped sooo many others (me, me, me); you deserve peace and happiness. I wish I could say more - I know nothing about your illness, thus can't offer much relative to the physical aspects of what you're experiencing. I can send you all of my positive thoughts and thanks. This Sunday will be 180 days for me, and you were a huge part of my staying sane during detox.
Although I've never met you, I will never forget all that you've done for me. Myself and my family owe you so much. Feel better.

[lulu747]

Thanks self...
I am going to see my doctor next week and prednisone may be my only option.  I loathe it, but the inflammation may be out of control enough to need it.  I thought I was doing so well changing the stress patterns and behaviour in my life.  Great suggestion on the massage, I haven't been in awhile.  Thank you for your kind words and support, they mean a lot.
xo
Lu

[selfinduced]

Hey lu, So sorry for your state right now. Sounds as if burning the candle at both ends is doing you in. Please slow down. Can you do a low dose prednisone to get your tummy issue settled? Also, what about massage? It seems your stress level is adding to your discomfort and that is a hard thing to lower overnight. My only other thought is a mild antidepressant or anxiety med (only if you don't take on a reg basis). Get back to basics. Keep things as simple as you can not. Even out the work with some fun, solicit outside help to do the necessities and let the rest drag till your not overwhelmed. You have worked WAY to hard on your health to let this temporary situation derail you. Sending much love and support. Hang in there.