Need to stop:(

[gizzy32]

I am sorry for letting you all down, but most of all I let myself down. I relapsed last night and haven['t stopped yet. I am going to try to tonight. This is so hard posting and I am so disgusted in myself, but I made the choice to use, I felt it coming. I am so sick now and surrender. Please forgive me please.

[kimbo546]

Hey dont beat yourself up too much.. You are here that is what is important. You can stop you did it before, do it now dont wait till it takes you any further. I feel your pain as I myself have suffered relapse mutiple times. Please dont give up Gizzy! Stop now.

[dominosarah]

Gizzy....until you finally realize you are an addict and get rid of ALL the bullsh!t in your life and get some recovery care this sort of thing will continue.           mp

[dominosarah]

AND you know i am right dont you?

[quitinoxys]

Hey it happens to all of us don't beat yourself up. I did the same thing and felt so low that I gave up but you know what life goes on. You have come back here and sounds like you want to stop again so you are on the right track. If you need to talk just come here and let it all out. Did you have any aftercare when you quit the last time? It is extremely important I myself learned quite a bit about myself from it. It has kept me on the straight and narrow. I will pray that God gives you the strength to make it again----quitin

[gizzy32]

Yes

[beatingthis]

Sounds like you have a enabler in your life. Someone that sets you off?
Time to face the music.

We cab forgive you, caan you forgive yourself?

[livngr8ful]

Hey..  keep your head up.  Kicking your self in the A$$ wont help.  Just work on it and try to do better tomorrow.  You didnt let us down.  It seem to that you have, but its not the case.  All we need to do is start stepping forward again.  Would ya share you relapse story?  I know it's hard but it may help you and us.  I would like to hear.  Keep your head up.  Keep on truck'n .  If you are safe, thats all that matters right this second.  If you are not get safe, and lets do this thing.  

[gizzy32]

Just wanting to let you all know and I am going to lay on pillow and come down and sober up now. I will be clean tomorrow again so don't worry now.

livingr8ful, I am not gonna type my war story on here. You don't want to hear trust me man. All i can say is I have done enough drugs in 2  days to take down an elephant, but that is nutting to be proud of. Ty for the support:)

Peace out people, I will be back on tomorrow and still want to help here, I hope you all let me. Nite nite friends.

[udoschoices]

You know what my friend- if anything you just made me feel better knowing that it can happen to anyone and we are all struggling with it. I have not posted as much during my on again/off again battles and just seeing you still here admitting your slip and wanting to keep giving advice makes me want to hear you share and try an give it back right along with you...  I for one forgive you since you have forgiven me many times and helped me.. Please forgive yourself and just get back on the boat... I started with a new counselor and trying everything new I can to stay clean and it's a battle as you fully know. Hang in there bro- I have lots of respect for you even now because you are human like me. I wish you the best

[avisg]

Gizzy tommrow IS a new DAY make it count we are here for you ....

[throwindatowl]

Well gizzy we sound the same brother. All or nothing. Your posts have helped me out sooooooo much I cant say thanks enough. Thankyou for a week clean and sober gizzy! Im not sure if I could have done it without you man................................................

[quitinoxys]

Yes Gizzy we are all here for you get some sleep and wake up to the first day of the rest of your life...

[BrotherFrankie]

praying for ya..

no need to ask for forgiveness from us..

[feohmoon]

I have not been posting as much lately because I also feel shame and disappointment... Thank you for giving me the courage to actually say that...I am beating myself up and am feeling so depressed...I know everything I need to do and I am familiar (unfortunately) with detoxing so I feel that I can help some people with my insights and suggestions on what could make them more comfortable and help to get through their detox a little bit easier....but I feel like a fake (even though I have not claimed to have any clean time that I do not have) and a hypocrite...something that I am not.  
Addiction is such a difficult thing ... you are among friends here, friends who can completely understand your feelings - and your actions.  You are an essential part of this forum and I look forward to talking with you soon.
Tomorrow is a new day Giz and we can do this....Keep your head up friend (and we will too) -  and please forgive yourself....and move forward in the right direction....I will also try to take my own advice.
Peace and Love

[j34]

Am happy that you are safe and have another day alive that is all we all have is just one day ,living in the moment helps me ,i know that if i focus to much in the past or the future i miss the beauty of the day clean also what helped me was to write about my relapse and then when i went to get loaded thinking i would only have one i had the letter that told me the real truth about addiction and where i really takes me , am here for you and liek i said thank god you are alive to give it another go...blessings j34

[10356]

Hey Gizzy I'm glad you posted and I'm also grateful you will be laying your head on a pillow.. Ya know I back what sara says. You know what your triggers are so you are going to have to make the changes our this will continue.. You are worth so much more then what you are doing to yourself. Your a great guy with a big heart find room in it for your welfare ok.. warm hugs lesa

[laurel453]

Do what you need to do , my friend, save your life at all costs.

[wendy111]

i know you can do it.  you have been such a support to me. this place is so forgving and so supportive.  even during you hard days you are still helping us all.  we are all here for you.
wendy

[wantthissobad]

You are only human we all make fall sometimes, but you have to say f*** this and pick yourself back. I'm day 5 of recovery since 2006. God Bless you!!!

[quitinoxys]

Hey brother how are you today, better I hope. Well come on back and let us know how you are as we are all concerned. I remember when I first came to this forum scared and didn't know what to do. You helped me through this journey with your words and compassion you are truly a great person. Well now I am 121 days clean because of your help and I thank you. So pull yourself up and start all over again and you know you can make it.---quitin

[gizzy32]

Thank you to everyone that has reached out and helped pick me back up, you all mean so much to me. Today is day 1 and although it's painful, I will continue on with this fight. It's a new day and the first day of the rest of my life:)

[LeaAnn807]

CONGRATS on day 1!  That is a great start.  Proud of your honesty and willingness to keep fighting....especially when it seems easier to stay messed up and give in!

Love and hugs to you sweetie.....You have to FIGHT now and put an end to this crap, ok?  Don't make me come whip your butt.  It would really embarrass you to get your a$$ kicked by a girl now wouldn't it???

[quitinoxys]

Thats the gizzy I know I will pray for you.....

[beatingthis]

Tram and Sara will kick you butt lol!