Starting Over - Will need support and encouragement

[jaxbaby]

How stupid am i??? 20 days with nothing, taking two weeks to turn a corner and now I am back.  Average of 3 (5/325) of lorcet a day for 22 days now.- some days 4.   Yes for legitimate pain but still ask myself, could i have done it without the meds?  Then my dad had a stroke and other major changes in my life happening so yes,  .. i used for the emotional pain - there lies the addiction i thought I could control!  HA!  AGaiN..  How stupid am I ?  I beg for forgiveness and support as i think this is my 3rd time.  

How bad do you think withdrawals will be at that amount for that short period of time?  Before that the usage was a bit higher then I overused ambien to sleep any chance i got so withdrawal sucked!  NoT GOOD!    Any response, will help.  i have amino acid, bannans,melatonin, and have been on zoloft for a month. I am hopimg all that will help.  Thank you!     what would we all do without this board?

[Punkinhead75]

You said it.  The addiction I thought I could control.  I can't control it and eventually it put me in a state of hopelessness and powerlessness.  That's a good thing though.  Those two things were what made me reach out for a power greater than myself.  A power that could keep me clean and sober one day at a time.

Sorry I can't help with the WD part of your post.  Best wishes.

[Htownnofrown]

You're not stupid, your an addict. There is a big difference. Getting back on the road to recovery is the right thing to do, but have a plan. What can you do better this time around to stay clean? Aftercare?

[LeaAnn807]

Hey!  I'm glad you made it back.  Not everyone makes it back from these relapses, so you are a fortunate one.  You may not be next time, so please do whatever is necessary to get and stay clean this time!!! : )

Ok.....the things you have will help.  I would add Mag/Cal/Zinc supplement, apple juice, gatorade, imodium, nyquil instead of ambien, Hyland's restful legs or leg cramps, advil and epsom salts for baths.  

I would say that if you have been on them for 22 straight days again, your WDs will be just like before.  You have stirred up your opiate receptors, so you know the drill.....your brain and body will punish you for a week or so!!!!!

I am really happy you made it back!!!!!!!

[jaxbaby]

Thank you so much for the response --  ido have to go get the hylands and nyquil.  I have a computer back so that will help to keep me connected to you all.  You all have the most patience I have ever known.  I will keep you posted.  I have some major emotional things going on in my life so this will be challenging!

[vicki595]

Jax~~ You are far from stupid...Stupid would be to keep taking the pills and not coming back here.  Get yourself a strong foundation of support this time. There are so many avenues to recovery help!!

Are you completely off now? How many days?

Get the things on the list that Tram suggested. Also,exercise is huge!!  Try it this time!

Keep posting~

[jaxbaby]

THANK YOU VICKI. I RESPECT YOUR POSTS SO MUCH. I HAVE 2 LEFT THAT ARE HALFED EACH --TRYING TO WONT BE AS BAD AS IT WAS ONLY 22 DAYS.  I WILL CHECK IN TOMORROW GOTTA TRY GET SOME SLEEP.

[jaxbaby]

THAT SHOULD HAVE READ HOPING THE W/D'S WONT BE AS BAD

[LeaAnn807]

Hey, just checking on you today!  How are you?  

[jaxbaby]

Thank you so much for askiing.. I thought I responded to this post yesterday but not seeing it. I have been tired and floppy stomach but my dad has superceded anything that I am feeling. : He is not doingv well and for some reason it has made me not wanting to use. I think just the realization as to how precIous life is. It is nice to have this forum for support as I sit at his bedside praying he will pull through this.  Will keep checking back.

[LeaAnn807]

Well, I'm sure sorry to hear about your dad not doing well. Stress makes this very hard, but you can get through it.  It's helpful to me to take a hot bath when I get stressed out.  Also, B12 is great for that tired feeling.  A walk around the block or even in your driveway will help and help you to get some air when you need a break.  Sometimes just standing outside for a few minutes, soaking up the sunshine and fresh air can REALLY lighten you up!!!!!!!!

That's all I can think of!  Keep us posted on how you are doing tomorrow! : )