New Perspective

[SoYouSay]

Okay ... I've read a lot of folks helping each other on this great forum... but I've not seen a lot of talk about what to do after and during your new life without your DOC.

So... Let's start a collection of thought processes and activities we each do to overcome falling back into it...

What are some of the things you guys do to deal with every day stress - kids, demanding boss, bills, deadlines.

I've seen a lot of folks talking about walking and working out or whatever. but what do you do mentally to deal with stress - rather than grabbing the bottle or a handful of pills - how do we deal with real life, now that we are clean?

Just looking for some positive ideas to help each other out.

[gnarly_1]

HI Anther thing I do is always take time out of the day for a sun rize or sunset take time to ketch the spring bloom here in the desert as they say take time to smell the roses
we miss so much living in active addiction you got to learn how to appreciate the little thing in life again....like taking my grandson fishing.....you need some time to just degas from the stresors of the day we all need to learn to take care of our selfs physically emotionally and spiritually one we do this lifes pitfalls dont effect us as much.....Gnarly    

[Jammerson1906]

Aftercare is great but for the day to day moments of stress and anxiety:
-MUSIC...LOUD AND LOTS OF IT
-Journaling...writing down what you are feeling and allowing yourself to feel!
-Exercise (not my favorite! lol)

These are mine:)))

[vicki595]

LOL...That's THE FIRST thing I had to conquer!!

Yes...the simple things. Sometimes you have to stop,breathe,and cry....

And that's okay....

[SoYouSay]

Thanks Vicki... I like what you said about patience.. and not getitng hysterical about the little things...

One thing my child taught me she learned off of Blue's Clues.. Yeah... right... my child was teaching me, how ironic. But what she said made so much sense. When something is frustrating you stop and breathe.. Then, think, think, think... (she said while pointing to her pretty little head and repeating in that sing song voice)... How simple, but true...

[swflafun]

Good post. Staying busy seems like the obvious answer, but it seems like that just delays the inevitable cravings that come a little stronger the next time. A reasonable distraction, but not really an answer.
I kept a journal of the nightmare of my WDs and refer to that and think about the 18 months I have lost. It puts what I have accomplished into perspective and also reminds me of what price you have to pay if you make the decison to use again. Makes it a no-brainer to me, life is much more appealing without the constant 800lb gorilla on my back.
That's my trick, never forget what I have lost and the absolute horror I lived for 18 months and the pure agony of what I went through to rid myself of a pill bottle that owned me heart and soul. Life pales in comparison to living in that hell.

[reallylifer]

AFTERCARE...GROUP!!! Thats how i have been dealing..... but to be honest I am blessed with a great husband who when i need to vent he is there!!!!Vicki I think what you said is 100% true.... ansd i do get some ppl have a hard time finding a group that works for them.... I have been going to the same group for 1 1/2 yrs and it took a while to find them .... I have to say that sometimes we think we "can do it" but you have to remember what got us here to begin with...I know I thought i could do it .... I am not really big on excersise but i amd a walker  gym is not for me also my hubby would say that scrubbing the house is my new obsession and laundry.... Just for today.... and remember what your triggers are and use that to remind urself daily....

[eyeofhorus2010]

Obviously hobbies and other activities help divert attention away from cravings and using again. But sometimes I'm too tired to do much more than just sit and rest. So my mind will wander to things like using again because I'm bored or I'm tired or whatever. I recognize that type of thinking and I use it to learn and grow. I think about those things that lead me to using, why I used and how best to deal with those triggers.
In the begining I used distraction methods but I also came to realize that I was avoiding the introspection that would enable me to make those changes necessary to best handle stress and other excitable moments.

I don't think the trick is forgetting about using I think it's trying to remember why you can't.

[dominosarah]

That was an excellent post and yes you are more than welcome to post!!       sara

[Newabuser]

I don't know if I'm qualified to comment because this is my first time through it and I'm only 5 days clean but my plan is to simply keep myself busy. Mainly accomplishing the things that I put off while I was using. Idle time with nothing to do is when I hear the sirens song, hardly at all when I'm busy though.

I've got a few home improvement projects that'll keep me going for the rest of this winter and come summer there's always something to do. Yard work, gardening, FISHING!, etc, I just need to keep busy. If I actually get the ever growing list done I'll develop some new hobbies. Hobbies can be incredibly time consuming and attention diverting so they're a great escape when there's nothing to do and the mind starts to wander.

Again, no idea if this is the proper method (if there is such a thing) but it's how I'm planning on approaching it. How about you, what are your thoughts?

[gnarly_1]

Good post Vicki....we love you.....myself I also believe highly in aftercare thats where you learn the coping skills N/A and A/A both have 12 step programs that work if you work them as addicts we need to change the very way we think to recover if all you do is stop drinking or poping pills your just a dry alcoholic or addict...we call it ''white knuckling'' your sobriety once you get past all the carecter defects that addiction dose to us you can usually start to rebuild your life old freinds hobby's social gatherings church there are lots of places to find outlets for stress
as far as dealing with bills and the kids it always going to be out there but you cant mind the little things....and there all little things thay have to be for us to be able to cope with them
my personal outlets are my church a small home group of family's and a bible study with 3 other addicts in it...when I got the time I like to fish or go watch the race cars down at the track...still have projects I want to start theres a motorcycle calling my name in the back yard that needs restoring my jeep needs fixing but I dont get overwhelmed any more
I take thing one day at a time and tackle one project at a time recovery is all about surrendering and balance in your life im sure other will come along also but if your struggling get involved with aftercare it make all the difference good luck and Gos bless........Gnarly      

[vicki595]

We do talk about aftercare/recovery care. It's the most important thing you can involve yourself in after you're clean. Eating well,exercise,etc...is all great but we need support for all the mental changes and adjustments.

It really goes hand in hand with dealing with life's difficulties,stresses,obstacles. Aftercare
can involve many things: therapist,doctor,AA etc...many of us have found our own niche'
that we're comfortable with and that works for us!  Once we learn about our addictions,we can learn the tools to help us cope without reaching for a drug,including alcohol for many.

Also,once we're clean,we're a lot less emotional and more "in the moment" and stoic. Life happens. We can't become hysterical over everything.  We change along with our coping mechanisms. We learn patience.

It's always great to have a friend or two to talk and vent with...and humor is a plus. It's hard to be upset when you're laughing!!

Others will post...it's getting late now so it may slow up a bit but keep checking back and jot down some of your own thoughts!