Aa
Nothing works
I have tried it all. Cant afford rehab or suboxens. I guess eventually it will end my life. Dont know wny but my mind just doesnt get it. sorry folks. Been at this for 2 years. Nothing works for me
It hurts me to hear you say this. I know in my heart you are a good person and you deserve happiness. You are only a skip and a spit from me honey and I think you know by now I would drive and pick you up and take you to treatment.
You said that you don't get "it". I will be blunt and tell you that I don't believe you are trying hard enough. By that I mean did you call a bunch of treatment centers or just one? Have you gone to the Suboxone website to see if they offer treatment for those without insurance? Have you talked with your doctor? Have you gone to ten meetings or one meeting? Have you called the local hospital to find out what they offer?
You are going to have to fight for this and I believe you are worth it. I only wish you did. It will not come to you, you will have to do the footwork.
I will say an extra prayer for you tonight. Please keep posting here.
You said that you don't get "it". I will be blunt and tell you that I don't believe you are trying hard enough. By that I mean did you call a bunch of treatment centers or just one? Have you gone to the Suboxone website to see if they offer treatment for those without insurance? Have you talked with your doctor? Have you gone to ten meetings or one meeting? Have you called the local hospital to find out what they offer?
You are going to have to fight for this and I believe you are worth it. I only wish you did. It will not come to you, you will have to do the footwork.
I will say an extra prayer for you tonight. Please keep posting here.
YOU CAN DO THIS, Many have done it and are doing it everyday. I understand you wanting the security of on in-house facility, but when the chips are down, it will all be up to you. Do you have a support system at home? Maybe a few people that can stay with you and be your voice of reason and caregivers for a week? Sounds like you are lacking support which makes giving up the drugs harder. We are here for you. Make the decision to start living again and we will all hold you up. This is not hopeless or you would not be posting....We believe in you.
It is hopeless. My family doesnt get it. they just say get over it. bonnie everyplace I call has a waiting list I am just too tired to fight anymore.
I am sorry, but if you have tried everything and nothing works - you havent tried enough. This isnt any cakewalk that you have gotten involved in. This is a war for your life. And you may need to approach it with all of the determination that you would take to war. Yesterday was the only easy day. And you can rest and relax tomorrow. Today you need to address the enemy. And pain is merely weakness leaving your body. get tough and get determined. So you have been trying for 2 years? I am in my 60's and got involved with opiates during the Vietnam War! just got around to getting straight a few years back - after a healthy run and a massive habit. You can do this. It will not be easy. Some say its the hardest thing that they have ever done. It is wonderful to save your own life. And you are able to do just that. So make your plans and have at it. stick around here for support and ideas......
First, IBK a skip and a spit?? What does that mean? LOL
Dede, C'mon sweetie!! It's not hopeless! Don't give up! Don't ever give up! You can do this! You have so much support and caring here! What is the problem? What have you tried? Let's figure this out! I know you can do this!
Keep talking, we can help get you through this! I'm not giving up on you, and you can't either! That, is not an option!!
Dede, C'mon sweetie!! It's not hopeless! Don't give up! Don't ever give up! You can do this! You have so much support and caring here! What is the problem? What have you tried? Let's figure this out! I know you can do this!
Keep talking, we can help get you through this! I'm not giving up on you, and you can't either! That, is not an option!!
Powerful post.....Great perspective...Dede, can you tell us how much and what your taking?
It is not hopeless. I won't give up on you so you may as well get used to it. Tomorrow I will make some calls. I will message you and let you know. Try and relax for the night honey and be good to yourself.
This had been going on for years. Sometimes one or two a day and when I get more I can take up to ten percosets a day. The anxiety and the craving get me every time not to mention no one at home who cares.
I was where you are....A time will come where your emotional state can no longer handle another detox and your body will begin to fail little by little. I tell you this not to frighten you, as you already know the drill. I see we joined at the same time. It took me a year of reading and absorbing to finally make the move. If I can do it you most certainly can. I too didn't have support except for this site, by choice. Can you reveal to a dr. so you feel more secure with your detox? What are your fears in quitting?
I was also alone, completely alone! The unbelievable people here helped me and supported me through it! You will never fail as long as you keep trying! Open your mind and your heart, change your attitude! Start looking forward to a day when you will be free of this! Living a happy and long life! Picture it! It will happen for you! Keep talking! We are listening!
I also did this alone... however, you have a very large support group right here. Please don't give up... you matter!
Dede, I have not posted in about a week and a half because I am so ashamed at my failure, AGAIN, after saying that I was really gonna stick to my plan this time. And everyone gave me so much support. And I let everyone down again. And I don't just fail, I fail with a vengance. Yes I gave everything to my sister, but I came accross some under the tabke cash and just went completely crazy.
But I absolutley refuse to give up. I will keep trying again and again. As I type this I am waiting for a call from sis so I can bring her what xtra I have left.
There is no resson why you cannot continue to try and beat this terrible affliction. Please do not give up. You can message me anytime. Ill give u my personal email too if u want. Maybe we can lean on each other.
Don't give up
But I absolutley refuse to give up. I will keep trying again and again. As I type this I am waiting for a call from sis so I can bring her what xtra I have left.
There is no resson why you cannot continue to try and beat this terrible affliction. Please do not give up. You can message me anytime. Ill give u my personal email too if u want. Maybe we can lean on each other.
Don't give up
I was at it for over 15 years. Others on this forum for much longer. Are you really that much different than we are? Is your life farther down the crapper than ours were? Do you have someone you love, or do you hope to find someone you can love? Is there nothing in this world that excites you - that makes you glad to be alive? Do you know how short life is and how precious each moment is? The drama and emotion of detox or finally coming to grips that your addiction is destroying your life can distort reality.
You suggest that you've given up after only two years. I say that you've just started. You have too many days and too much joy ahead of you.
You suggest that you've given up after only two years. I say that you've just started. You have too many days and too much joy ahead of you.
COMMUNITY LEADER
If you dont have the time to be sick, make the time to be well dede~~
Dont use your family as an excuse to continue living this way. Stand up on your own 2 feet and fight for you. You are so worth it~~
Dont use your family as an excuse to continue living this way. Stand up on your own 2 feet and fight for you. You are so worth it~~
dede it's really sad that your not feeling like your worth fighting for yourself.. I too had no-one that I could turn to. but this group right here was all I needed. there are so many caring, wise and supportive people that can help walk you through this. alot of us had been fighting this battle for yrs. and yrs. It sounds like your intake of pills is not that high. maney people have come off a 150-250mg habit. make a plan... get some supplies to help with withdrawal, and come hang with us. If you want to do this .you can and you will. just like we have. keep posting we'll help motivate you.. glad your here, your in the right place
Nothing in life makes me smile other than my one year old grandson. Once again I have no job due to pills. I am making yet another call to a rehab house today. I dont want to go because of the embarressment of it but it is my only hope. Because I cant do this on my own. Not sure they even have and opening but I am trying the best of can. I just dont have much hope.
all we have to go on is hope at times.... all you need to do ,..is do the best you can. I find that once I make a commitment to do something, and really commit. the universe answers by opening doors for me. we're all behind you. keep posting
Quitting and giving up isn't an option.
YOU have to want this, and YOU have to do the work. So, you've failed a bunch of times before at getting clean...guess what? That's the norm. So has most EVERYONE else! They don't call it "addiction" for nothing. It's HARD to break that cycle. The important thing is, that you continue to try, and dig deep, with a professional to find out WHY you have failed, WHY you're addicted, and HOW to change that. If you don't change the mindset that comes with addiction, you won't get well.
I'm going to guess yoiu either are or have dealt with some kind of depression. Your speak like someone who is depressed. If that is true, and you have a history of depression, you're probably self medicating. In that case, you have to address the depression along WITH the addiction. If you don't fix the underlying problem, you're just putting a bandaid on a huge gaping wound. A professional will heklp you HEAL that wound.
Like others here say all the time, detox is actually the easy part. Getting clean is easy, STAYING clean is not. That's you're experience. So, change the ending to your story. YOU'RE the author.
YOU have to want this, and YOU have to do the work. So, you've failed a bunch of times before at getting clean...guess what? That's the norm. So has most EVERYONE else! They don't call it "addiction" for nothing. It's HARD to break that cycle. The important thing is, that you continue to try, and dig deep, with a professional to find out WHY you have failed, WHY you're addicted, and HOW to change that. If you don't change the mindset that comes with addiction, you won't get well.
I'm going to guess yoiu either are or have dealt with some kind of depression. Your speak like someone who is depressed. If that is true, and you have a history of depression, you're probably self medicating. In that case, you have to address the depression along WITH the addiction. If you don't fix the underlying problem, you're just putting a bandaid on a huge gaping wound. A professional will heklp you HEAL that wound.
Like others here say all the time, detox is actually the easy part. Getting clean is easy, STAYING clean is not. That's you're experience. So, change the ending to your story. YOU'RE the author.
That one thing, YOUR GRANDCHILD, can be the one thing that keeps you going. It is for me too. State run rehabs are available for everyone. Keep trying. Don't ask, demand they help you. You HAVE to continue on. Remember, your grandchild, what memories will he have of you? Hopefully, that you love him enough to go forward. Prayers are with you.
You and are in the same boat..I also take percocets and yes sometime 10 or more a day. I'm currently withdrawing also. You are sooooo not alone!! I'm here also going through the exact same thing!! I feel the exact same way you do and you know what take my hand and we can do this together!! I know how hard this is the pain, restlessness, sweats, sick, etc but you know that I to am going throught this to and also alone...we can do this together!! I don't know you and you don't know me but we have this in common so stick with me and we can pull eachother through!
Thanks wendy. Do you feel my grip? Iam hanging on for dear life. I am so confused.. Everyone here is so caring. I want this so bad but the addiction won't let go
dede:
Honestly, and you probably already know this, the addiction never lets go. My first DOC was booze; I quit drinking 27 years ago, but 12 years in to a rocky sobriety I found pills and switched my DOC.
You understanding that the addiction won't let go is actually a great first step. Too many times people have come on to this forum, get through the physical hell of detox, and feel like they've "won". Little do they know that the mental struggle is much harder than the physical, and it is life long. Granted, the longer we are clean the easier it is to MANAGE the addiction, but, as Sarah says, we can never let our guard down.
And you have a grandchild? What a gift! I understand that we have to get clean for us, but many (myself included) made the decision to stop using because of a loved one or family member, and ultimately understood that it has to be for us.
Honestly, and you probably already know this, the addiction never lets go. My first DOC was booze; I quit drinking 27 years ago, but 12 years in to a rocky sobriety I found pills and switched my DOC.
You understanding that the addiction won't let go is actually a great first step. Too many times people have come on to this forum, get through the physical hell of detox, and feel like they've "won". Little do they know that the mental struggle is much harder than the physical, and it is life long. Granted, the longer we are clean the easier it is to MANAGE the addiction, but, as Sarah says, we can never let our guard down.
And you have a grandchild? What a gift! I understand that we have to get clean for us, but many (myself included) made the decision to stop using because of a loved one or family member, and ultimately understood that it has to be for us.
DeDe , Pulling for you , But you have got to help .
i am a 65 years old male & on Day#22 no Norco . Used 100mg a day .
These people helped me & will help you , all you have to do is want it , want it bad .
Think what life was like before , Start hateing what the pills did to you .
45 days ago i wanted to die .
Can't believe how good lifes starting to be , i enjoy things again , feel pretty good for were i am at just 22 days clean,
Just have to tell yourself I WILL DO THIS . I WANT TO BE FREE of the drug . I will do this for me. ..... Ron
i am a 65 years old male & on Day#22 no Norco . Used 100mg a day .
These people helped me & will help you , all you have to do is want it , want it bad .
Think what life was like before , Start hateing what the pills did to you .
45 days ago i wanted to die .
Can't believe how good lifes starting to be , i enjoy things again , feel pretty good for were i am at just 22 days clean,
Just have to tell yourself I WILL DO THIS . I WANT TO BE FREE of the drug . I will do this for me. ..... Ron
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