Aa
Nuts?!
I'm 19, I've grown up with addicts in my life, I've seen the massive impact that one person's actions have on an entire group of people.
I began recreationally taking pills, mainly abusing my sleeping aid (ambien) and the occasional norco/vicodin. Well months after that I ended up getting an ultimatum from my friends mother who I live with that I needed to get my act togther and attend an outpatient program and a meeting a week or get out. I'm a young gay kid in a redneck town with no savings and no means of supporting myself. I have an amazing life with an amazing family that has brought me into their lives and provided me with a lifestyle that is full of wonderful things.
I got off everything but then little by little I recreationally still had to have it, it gave me relief from everything, it made living somewhere where I can't even go to the grocery store without being harassed so much easier. I began buying norcos/etc., lying about where my money was going and then ended up getting my own prescription due to a swollen spleen from mono/infection complications, my doctor is unaware of my pharmacuetical dabblings and has kept me on 40-60mgs. Hydrocodone daily, and sometimes I go as high as 80mgs. the only problem is that I know he is going to cut that off soon, and that I will continue buying them because I have the means and access to great deals, nearly at cost.
I want to be stable, I feel as thoughe everyday is an emotional roller coaster, I always tell myself that it's the last time, or that tomorrow I'll stop, but I'm scared of withdrawling beucause I have had a extremely low white blood cell count and I don't think my body can handle any more complications.
I want so badly to have my old life back, I want to be free of this b.s. having to take a little bit of something just to feel normal and then try and maintain that normal mental clarity.
How do I wean off without much side effects? I have 60 10/325 and 3 refills for (60) 7.5 vicaprofen, but they can't be filled more than every 14 days. I have enough to get off slowly I know that and how long until my tolerance is normal again? I take about 20-25 for a decent buzz now, typically in the morning but with the health issues I am curious when my tolerance will begin to drop.
:-[
I hope someone can give me some insight on all this, this isn't the kind of person I am, I'm a smart, attractive, articulate person with a bright and completely open future ahead of me and I don't want to blow my money chasing a phasad that will never be good enough.
I began recreationally taking pills, mainly abusing my sleeping aid (ambien) and the occasional norco/vicodin. Well months after that I ended up getting an ultimatum from my friends mother who I live with that I needed to get my act togther and attend an outpatient program and a meeting a week or get out. I'm a young gay kid in a redneck town with no savings and no means of supporting myself. I have an amazing life with an amazing family that has brought me into their lives and provided me with a lifestyle that is full of wonderful things.
I got off everything but then little by little I recreationally still had to have it, it gave me relief from everything, it made living somewhere where I can't even go to the grocery store without being harassed so much easier. I began buying norcos/etc., lying about where my money was going and then ended up getting my own prescription due to a swollen spleen from mono/infection complications, my doctor is unaware of my pharmacuetical dabblings and has kept me on 40-60mgs. Hydrocodone daily, and sometimes I go as high as 80mgs. the only problem is that I know he is going to cut that off soon, and that I will continue buying them because I have the means and access to great deals, nearly at cost.
I want to be stable, I feel as thoughe everyday is an emotional roller coaster, I always tell myself that it's the last time, or that tomorrow I'll stop, but I'm scared of withdrawling beucause I have had a extremely low white blood cell count and I don't think my body can handle any more complications.
I want so badly to have my old life back, I want to be free of this b.s. having to take a little bit of something just to feel normal and then try and maintain that normal mental clarity.
How do I wean off without much side effects? I have 60 10/325 and 3 refills for (60) 7.5 vicaprofen, but they can't be filled more than every 14 days. I have enough to get off slowly I know that and how long until my tolerance is normal again? I take about 20-25 for a decent buzz now, typically in the morning but with the health issues I am curious when my tolerance will begin to drop.
:-[
I hope someone can give me some insight on all this, this isn't the kind of person I am, I'm a smart, attractive, articulate person with a bright and completely open future ahead of me and I don't want to blow my money chasing a phasad that will never be good enough.
Never said it was a characterization. Addiction is a disease. Much like someone with diabetes is a diabetic.
I would not recommend suboxone. Your daily usage is relatively not that high to justify the use of suboxone (IMO). You can do this without suboxone. I am taking suboxone but I was on a very high amount of opiates. The best would be to taper slowly off the hydrocodone but for many that is very hard to do. If you do it ct the worst would be over with within 5-7 days. In the big picture, that is really not that long. Then you can work on the mental aspect of it. You are young and strong and can kick this addiction before it consumes you. You can do this.
One thing I have learned along the way is that addicts come in all forms and shapes. My doctor tells me that all her clients are very well educated and very articulate people. I think for a person to continue feeding their addiction it takes a very smart person. That is how we are able to keep feeding are addiction.
I really wish you the best of luck. Try to keep a positive attude. You can do this.
Best wishes
One thing I have learned along the way is that addicts come in all forms and shapes. My doctor tells me that all her clients are very well educated and very articulate people. I think for a person to continue feeding their addiction it takes a very smart person. That is how we are able to keep feeding are addiction.
I really wish you the best of luck. Try to keep a positive attude. You can do this.
Best wishes
I completely understand and am committed to getting better, that's why I am writing here, and I appreciate all the help, I've heard so many different things from different people whether tapering was better or cold turkey, I'm going to taper from 40-20mgs, then c/t from there, I can't assume the withdrawl from 20mg to be anything in comparison to if I just kept taking 75mg until I was out.
I was also considering suboxone? I know that it's supposed to help curb cravings and whatnot and I wouldn't have to initially go through withdrawl barely at all as to what I've heard, but would 75mgs daily consumption of hydrocodone be too little to attempt finding a doctor that treats with suboxone? There aren't a lot here and I don't want to dump hundreds into office visits if my addiction is considered minute and unworthy of medical treatment.
I was also considering suboxone? I know that it's supposed to help curb cravings and whatnot and I wouldn't have to initially go through withdrawl barely at all as to what I've heard, but would 75mgs daily consumption of hydrocodone be too little to attempt finding a doctor that treats with suboxone? There aren't a lot here and I don't want to dump hundreds into office visits if my addiction is considered minute and unworthy of medical treatment.
Have to jump in with Eagle on this one. You need to get tough or this addiction is going to eat you up.
Not sure why you are trying to run from a name. I guess I would think of a junkie as someone who is strung out on heroin....that's what they called it ,junk. So, I guess that you are not a junkie but you are an addict....a person who suffers from addiction which is not going to go away because you are articulate. Most of us here were pill addicts. I for one am in a professional position with a Master's degree. I am an addict just the same as the person who has lived on the street because of their addiction.
You need to put a plan together if you really are ready to quit. You will probably find that tapering is hard because you will most likely take them. If you have someone to hold them and doll them out that would be best. If you taper it will only take 4-7 days...most likely 4 to get it over with. You will need help to stay off of them.
Not sure why you are trying to run from a name. I guess I would think of a junkie as someone who is strung out on heroin....that's what they called it ,junk. So, I guess that you are not a junkie but you are an addict....a person who suffers from addiction which is not going to go away because you are articulate. Most of us here were pill addicts. I for one am in a professional position with a Master's degree. I am an addict just the same as the person who has lived on the street because of their addiction.
You need to put a plan together if you really are ready to quit. You will probably find that tapering is hard because you will most likely take them. If you have someone to hold them and doll them out that would be best. If you taper it will only take 4-7 days...most likely 4 to get it over with. You will need help to stay off of them.
I don't know how much a slow taper is going to help ease withdrawl. I tried it and had really bad, crippling anxiety for several weeks. Everyone is different. If you don't have anxiety to begin with maybe it won't be as bad for you. I finally went CT from about 15mg a day. I still had to suffer acute withdrawl from that dose, but I was suffering so much during the taper that I'd had enough.
If you are really concerned about your immune system being compromised, see a doctor. I have been reading about LDN therapy, which is reported to help people with auto-immune diseases like MS. If you could do some research on this and then go prepared to see a doctor it might help.
If you are really concerned about your immune system being compromised, see a doctor. I have been reading about LDN therapy, which is reported to help people with auto-immune diseases like MS. If you could do some research on this and then go prepared to see a doctor it might help.
Hi! So glad that you are wanting to end the pills, this is such a smart decision. This can be done under the guize of a virus, or flu, as w/d tends to feel alot like the flu. It will be over in abt. 5 or 6 days with the W/D. You absolutely have to be commited to your quit, no pillhead friends, ect. You will crave for awhile, that is the toughest part, with time the craves will lessen but you will crave. This is a very doable thing, you just need the immodiun, otc pain meds, hot baths or showers, plenty of liquids/gatoraide, maybe something for nausea.
I wish you a speedy detox and a happy life, you have only just began your life and I hope the best for you!
Ella
I wish you a speedy detox and a happy life, you have only just began your life and I hope the best for you!
Ella
"Great deals, nearly at cost"? I am curious as to how you put a value on years of life that can be lost to narcotics. And the loss of self respect. And possibly the loss of life.
An extremely low white count and your body cant take any further physical stresses....give me a break. What do you think that you are doing to your body when you introduce a steady diet of hydrocodone?
It sounds from your post that you already know most of the answers. This is something that must come from within yourself. No really good external answers. People can give you advice about easing symptoms associated with withdrawal.........but the short time that it takes to go cold turkey is the easy part. The mental/psychological part lasts a lifetime. If you dont actively do something about that part you will fail.
An extremely low white count and your body cant take any further physical stresses....give me a break. What do you think that you are doing to your body when you introduce a steady diet of hydrocodone?
It sounds from your post that you already know most of the answers. This is something that must come from within yourself. No really good external answers. People can give you advice about easing symptoms associated with withdrawal.........but the short time that it takes to go cold turkey is the easy part. The mental/psychological part lasts a lifetime. If you dont actively do something about that part you will fail.
So I know I can take 40mg and not experience withdrawl so I was going to begin the tapering process there, say 1 pill down a week, then when I'm down to 1 start taking .5 pill, then .25
I am assuming that at such slow taper that the physical side effects should be minimal for the most part correct? Also what are some good ways to help alleviate the mental fatigue that is experienced while tapering? I know that if slowly tapered the sense of fatigue is lessened but will still be existent...
I'm sorry for asking so much, I feel like I just need some sort of sense of community, I don't know a lot of people that I can talk to in my life about issues like this so just being able to write it out and know that someone, somewhere will read it is a good feeling. :-]
Thank you for your replies, I'm trying so hard today as it's 5pm and I've taken 30mgs total where as typically I'd have taken 40mgs or so, I know it's not much of a difference but it's baby steps. I'm going to a 1.5 hr. AA meeting as well at 7pm that I'm really excited to attend!
I am assuming that at such slow taper that the physical side effects should be minimal for the most part correct? Also what are some good ways to help alleviate the mental fatigue that is experienced while tapering? I know that if slowly tapered the sense of fatigue is lessened but will still be existent...
I'm sorry for asking so much, I feel like I just need some sort of sense of community, I don't know a lot of people that I can talk to in my life about issues like this so just being able to write it out and know that someone, somewhere will read it is a good feeling. :-]
Thank you for your replies, I'm trying so hard today as it's 5pm and I've taken 30mgs total where as typically I'd have taken 40mgs or so, I know it's not much of a difference but it's baby steps. I'm going to a 1.5 hr. AA meeting as well at 7pm that I'm really excited to attend!
Oh no, I meant 20-25 mg, haha, I normally top out at between 60-80mg daily.
And in regards to tommmm, addict is not the defining characteristic that labels people. I'm quite aware of the 4 personality profiles that are used to define people and addict is not one of them, it's typically a disposition that becauses an obsession, I consider it an action, more or less a learned behavior that will help can be altered to form healthier addictions.
I'm not a junkie if you wanted me to put it bluntly. Haha.
My mother commited suicide last month and spent the last 8 years of her life chasing a high and fabricatinng health issues in an attempt to convince herself that her mental ailments could be cured with medications used to treat physical issues. I'm seeing a therapist at the moment for anxiety but whenever she feels a need to address a problem she has a tendancy to refer you to a specialist, for anything, wether it be sleeping or anxiety or addiction. I have attended several meetings and find them all to be rather unprogressive, there is this constant reminder of where they used to be and their old lives, and I try to think more future oriented progressive thoughts.
And in regards to tommmm, addict is not the defining characteristic that labels people. I'm quite aware of the 4 personality profiles that are used to define people and addict is not one of them, it's typically a disposition that becauses an obsession, I consider it an action, more or less a learned behavior that will help can be altered to form healthier addictions.
I'm not a junkie if you wanted me to put it bluntly. Haha.
My mother commited suicide last month and spent the last 8 years of her life chasing a high and fabricatinng health issues in an attempt to convince herself that her mental ailments could be cured with medications used to treat physical issues. I'm seeing a therapist at the moment for anxiety but whenever she feels a need to address a problem she has a tendancy to refer you to a specialist, for anything, wether it be sleeping or anxiety or addiction. I have attended several meetings and find them all to be rather unprogressive, there is this constant reminder of where they used to be and their old lives, and I try to think more future oriented progressive thoughts.
Hi! Congrats on wanting to quit using pills! You sound as if this is something you want to do but like the above posts stated you have to stick with it. Yes, you will experience wd's but is sounds as if you have more than enough pills to begin a slow taper plan. People have posted taper plans and basically it consists of dropping down one pill each week or two (depending on the number of pills you have to taper with) I think you said you were taking 20-25 pills each day? I would try to cut that by 1-2 pills each week or more if you can handle it. You are going to experience some type of wd no matter how little you reduce the number of pills you take because your body is used to the amount you are currently taking. I wish you luck and you will find there are great people on this site with very encouraging stories that will help you succeed! If you need to talk, I am here often or PM me- ladydi4185
You say at the end of your post "this isn't the type of person I am" What does that mean? I think you know you are an addict. And addiction doesn't have anything to do with looks, brightness, intelligence, orientation. This disease can infect anyone.
If you are afraid your health might be in danger from withdrawals, you need to see a doctor. Because, no matter what, when you stop you will experience some withdrawals. Cutting back each day and weaning down to a small amount will lessen the effects, but your usage history description tells me you will have some.
You can't do this alone. You say yourself, you stop for a short time, but can't help but go back to rec. using. This is the disease. It will not just let go, or go away. It's always gonna be there. Meetings, therapy, doctors, are all options you can choose from.
The rest is up to you. I hope some of this helps. you are not alone, and you can learn to live with this. It is just gonna take a lot of hard work!
Good luck to you you!
If you are afraid your health might be in danger from withdrawals, you need to see a doctor. Because, no matter what, when you stop you will experience some withdrawals. Cutting back each day and weaning down to a small amount will lessen the effects, but your usage history description tells me you will have some.
You can't do this alone. You say yourself, you stop for a short time, but can't help but go back to rec. using. This is the disease. It will not just let go, or go away. It's always gonna be there. Meetings, therapy, doctors, are all options you can choose from.
The rest is up to you. I hope some of this helps. you are not alone, and you can learn to live with this. It is just gonna take a lot of hard work!
Good luck to you you!
If you're ready to quit, you need a plan. This forum will provide you with most everything you need, e.g. info to stop using. Sounds like you may have a great future...good for you for recognizing your issue now.
Guy
Guy
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