Nyquil abuse and changes in behavior

[Shutterbug]

My husband was a recovering alcoholic up to about 2 years ago.  He began abusing over the counter medication, unbeknownst to me.  As the abuse got worse, the signs became apparent.  He was always sneaking into the bathroom or rummaging in a closet, etc.  His drug of choice is Nyquil and I have found over twenty bottles strewn through my house over the last month or so.  His behavior has changed radically.  He has become nasty and impatient, he often hibernates with a headset and CD, no one likes to be around him.  Could you tell me what's going on? An important side note:  my husband is bipolar and is treated with Depakote(he sometimes hides his meds) and Prozac Weekly.  He explains that the Nyquil rests his mind which I think is understandable (but misguided) for a bipolar in manic phase, but obviously not the best choice for controlling his disease. His spending habits are still out of control.  Before he was diagnosed and treated for bipolar, he landed us in $30,000 debt. His habits improved when he began his  medicine regimen, but returned when he started abusing over-the -counters. He has recently experienced mild seizures while sleeping.  I have begged him to seek help.  He tells me that I exaggerate his condition.  Also, he has developed a very large lump (emlarged lymph node)on his neck which is being biopsied next week.  These things may not be related, but because of the damage that alcohol is capable of, I wonder if they are.His psychiatrist is very concerned as is his family.  I repeat:  What's going on with him?  How will this disease progress?

[WifeofAddict]

Hi There!
As you can tell by my name i too am the wife of an addict.  My husband is addicted to codiene.  Well pain meds.  But all he has taken in vast amounts is percocet and codiene.  Anyways, i know how you feel.  I would hate to be put back to that day when i found out about it.  First of all, when i found out he quit the next day and went into an in-patient rehab for 21 days.  Which gave me a much needed break from him.  I was constantly on his back, following him, not giving him money or car keys etc.  Horrible, nightmare, aweful.  Anyways, i have been going to meeting for families of those addicted.  It has helped me alot and the number one thing i learned was to take care of myself, first.  Because if he relapses i can't go down again with him.  I can't.  If my Husband hadn't of quit, i don't think we would be together right now.  I just couldn't handle it then, and i can't say i would be able to now.  But now he is clean and now everything is great.  When he was using, he was a completely different person, he was lazy, rude, unclean, unshaven, dirty, slow, unintelligent, MOODY!, mean, nice, mean, nice.  Ahhh i could go on forever.  It was horrible.  So i understand where you are coming from and how you want answers.  I do recomend Alanon.  I am going to start going to those meetings myself, as they have helped alot of families deal with this problem.  The focus is on yourself, not the addicted.  You can't help the addicted until you help yourself.  And you can't make anyone stop what they are doing, unless they want to for themselves.  Anyways, i hope this made sense, as i am really tired and need to sleep, but i felt the need to write to you as i too am a wife of an addict....and maybe we could talk more.
Take Care of yourself,
Catherine

[hyjack]

IMHO, your husband is definitley relapsing.  Any type of alcohol, including nyquil would be proof of a relapse.

I suppose he has a lot of misguided feelings right now, most importantly denial.  He may be trying to convince you that it is OK for him to partake in this behavior, but ask any detox center.  They say to stay clear of any form of OTC meds that contain alcohol.  The amount that he is taking, surely demonstrates that he needs more than the "active" ingredients.

Once you face this fact, you can get help for only yourself.  You can't control him.  You can make him aware of the fact that YOU ARE AWARE of what he is doing.

As far as the mood swings, any alcoholic can be what is called a "dry drunk".  What was his behavior when he was noticeably drinking?  Did he have mood swings?  It could be as simple as he is feeling w/ds from not having his fix.  Alcoholics and addicts are similar, that when they are using, they tend to have multiple personalities.

I hope that you can educate yourself enough to keep yourself healthy and not be brought down by him.

Good luck.

[theGolden1]

Sorry to tell you Shutter .... that is not a good thing. I would be pretty moody myself if I was loooking forward to a biopsy. My brother had a lump on his neck and it turned out to be Hodgekins limphoma. Your husband is probably going through alot right now. Try to get the book "One day at a time in Alanon" .... daily readings that really put things into perspective. The sooner he get's the biopsy over with the better you will both feel. My thoughts and prayers are with you .... Goldie

[Shutterbug]

Response to PhD. comments:  This relationship is very important to me.  BUT, I am not willing to remain married to this stranger for much longer.  What is the severity of the problem that I'm facing? Can you grade it?  These may sound like silly and reductive questions, I have a lot of difficulty remaining objective and keeping things in perspective when the addict is whispering silly nonsense in my ear. He downplays my reactions, comments, etc.  For him to sober up, I imagine that he would have to lose practically everything...Is this a relapse? And should I consider all behavior(nasty and likewise) offshoots of this relapse?

[J. E. W.]

From my past experiance with alcohol the hiding of the bottles is shame. Hes trying to hide his drinking, and at the sametime thinks its ok cause its only nyquel(sp).I went through a 12 step inpatient for my alcohol and pill addiction. Although I havent drank since I did just get off the pills again. There is nothing you can do at this point he has to admit he has relapsed. But from the way you descibed the situation hes in total denial at this time. My suggestion would be for you to contact his Dr. and let him know your concerns. Also get ahold of alanon for your own support and understanding.I hope everything works ouy for you my friend.. Ill be here if needed.         Bless you in your time of need..       J.E.W.

[hellbent]

" Are addicts who are using, in denial and all that other stuff prone to extreme moodiness"

-I don't know if addicts are prone to moodiness, but I know that I am when I am using. There is tremendous selfishness, guilt, and denial. Living with those three emotions all at once is more than ayone should have to bear, but many addicts live with all three all the time, and it doesn't leave much room for the good parts of them to get out.

I don't know much about the pycological problems hs is dealing with so I won't comment on that.

I will say that you might want to look at what's in the Nyquil, and offer to get him all the ingredients that the stuff contains, seperately, without the alcohol. If he still insists on drinking Nyquil, he should have a hard time at that point  denying that he is doing it for one reason: the alcohol.